One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 6 PS4 [REVIEW]

So yeah, this is the final DLC characters batch for Pirate Warriors 4.

Almost can’t believe it.

“Almost” because people datamined the game and basically were able to learn beforehand with great accuracy what the new DLC characters would be, which is especially true for the final pack, Legends’ Dawn, one that indeed is dedicated to the old guard of One Piece big cheeses characters, with Gol D. Roger, his second-in-command Rayleigh and “younger Garp”.

In a way, Roger does feel weird to have a playable character this soon, i would have reserved him as a post-game unlock for Pirate Warriors 5, as in we barely even know bits of his moves and fighting style, but he has been a fan favourite and it will be at least 5 more years (if more, given PW 4 released in 2020) until we see the next PW installment, so yeah it kinda makes some sense.

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Cyclops (2008) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

The cyclops is one of the more unrepresented monsters, sure, it’s usually thrown in there if it there’s an adventure in ye old Greece of myth and monsters, alongside the usual suspects, in both videogames and movies, now that i think about it.

Then again, it’s ultimately just a variation of the giant archetype, but even so, the cyclops really hasn’t had much representation even in the monster movie genre and its many iterations even on overlyspecific types of killer animals.

Sure, there’s Dr Cyclops, but that’s just the stupid title given to basically the forerunner of the “shrinking people” trend of the ’40-50s, not that Bert I. Gordon’s The Cyclops from 1957 is any better, as they basically had the same guy of his War Of The Colossal Beast as the “cyclops”, quotiations marks because the monster’s face (or the actor’s make up/mask) is supposed to be melted off on due to radiation shit, so he has basically a “flesh bang” and only eye still visible, here’s your “cyclops”, looks like he fell face first into a barrel of radioactive cheese but didn’t get signed up by Troma for a series, so he slums into his own film alongside a disgraced Lon Chaney Jr.

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Killjoy (2000) [REVIEW] | Wishmaster In Da Hood

This is a re-write, sorry, but i’m not feeling keen on watching a random horror clown movie… again, i don’t particularly loathe or love clowns per sé, and i’m not feeling like reviewing Killer Klowns From Outer Space… YET, there is actually a proper sequel finally in production, 30 years after, but what the hell, i honestly didn’t expect for the follow up to come out, like ever.

Then again, this ended up being a more involved rewrite then planned, it’s basically redone from scratch (almost entirely, anyway), so i’m gonna borrow a page from the game industry and call this the “Definitive Remastered Edition” of my Killjoy review.

January has been so unbelieveably busy, even more than planned for, so let’s talk (“again”) about the first Killjoy film, since in my homecountry this is also month of “Carnevale/Carnival”.

A series that has seen a couple of new entries in the last decade, as Full Moon Entertaiment has been consistant in pumping these out with some regularity (after the 8 years separating Killjoy 2 and 3, that is), when they can stop themselves giving sequels to Evil Bong and remember most people actually care more about new Puppet Master entries than Demonic Toys ones.

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[EXPRESSO] Madame Web (2024) | Spider Vision

The new entry in Sony’s Spider Man Universe side of Marvel offerings, tackling the titural and lesser known – to mainstream audiences – figure of Madame Web, AKA Cassandra Web (Dakota Johnson), a woman working as a paramedic that awakens her powers of clairvoyance after a tragic incident, and will have to confront her mysterious past to help three young women unaware of being hunted down by a menacing “spider person”.

So, it’s not good, at all, i didn’t hate it or was let down, it’s at least inoffensive, as in, it’s hard to feel anything much from a movie that feels directed and acted in autopilot, the cast it’s good but the characters are shallow as hell and the movie’s overall light tone (fine in itself ) kinda backfires in making it hard to care about anything that happens.

Ignoring the fact its about a character intrisically linked to Spider Man, has “evil Spiderman” for its boring ass villain, yet it can’t/won’t even mention the Man-O’-Spiders, Madame Web is just a very unispired origin story that coasts on doing the bare minimum, one it could have been cut to 90 minutes, since it’s fairly repetitive, unengaging, looks cheap, and feels more like a set up for other films than anything, a movie set in 2003 that also perfectly feels like the kind of bad/subpar cinecomic that would have come out back then.

I was inclined on trying to “defend” it due to how harsh it’s being reviewed….. but sorry, this one IS pretty bad and lacks the trashy fun factor of the Venon movies or Morbius, with very little to like, feeling extremely throaway to boot, just “product” that makes futile even feeling angry about it.

Maybe the Kraven The Hunter movie coming out this summer will be better?

Dungeon Meshi/Dungeon Food/Delicious In Dungeon [ANIME FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

I feel like i’ve sang the praises of Ryoko Kui’s manga “Dungeon Meshi” before on these pages, but regardless, i’m gonna say it again, it’s one of the best goddamn manga series i’ve red in YEARS, it has a devoted following that just keeps growing, and i was super giddy to finally see the anime adaptation, even more as it’s handled by TRIGGER, peculiar choice of animation studio.

So here i am after watching the first 4 episodes (the series it’s streaming on Netflix), it’s more than enough to put down some first impressions.

But first, the premise, as the title clues you in but not completely.

In a high fantasy world, adventurers, merchants and all kinds of people are drawn to an unique, everchanging dungeon, and the protagonists party there finally manage to prep up and fight the elusive Red Dragon lurking in the inner depths of the dungeon.

They fumble it, and one of the magician, Falin, sacrifices herself to save the others, getting eaten by the dragon in the process. The party mostly dismantles, but the elf Marcille and the half-ling Chilchack remain alongside the paladin Laios, Falin’s brother, as he wants to head back into the dungeon immediatly and try to save Falin before she’s digested by the dragon.

Problem is, time is of the essence, so Laios improvizes a plan to avoid wasting precious time on gathering money for supplies and foodstuff: they’re gonna eat the monsters they defeat while exploring the dungeon. They are also joined by a peculiar dwarf living in the dungeon, Senshi, whom apparently has already experience in “monster cuisine”..

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We gotta talk about Palworld

I remember writing a quick piece when this one was presented back in 2021, laughing it off as i thing that would be shot down by Nintendo’ lawyers.

Obviously that didn’t happen (and never will, i would assume), and since it has sold 5 million copies in the span of DAYS after releasing in Early Access this 19th of January, the company behind it being shady con merchants and the fact people are actually defending a game with “bootleg Electabuzz Totoro with gatling gun” is amazing… look, we need to talk about this.

(this is not a review, FIY, just putting this out there early)

Leaving aside the fact most likely this game doesn’t use generative AI for the “‘mons”, they look just rip-offs – sometimes literally as you can some really obvious bits of both official Pokemon designs and even fandesigns – done the ye old fashion way, and the sociopathic premise of “you can kill, cook and enslave your non-Pokemon pals” (even more sociopathical how you can catch human NPCs,) to what seems like a very basic survival and crafting game that defines the “early” in Early Access title.

One that also looks very “asset flippy” as it literal looks they recycled assets from their earlier title, Craftopia, which itself tries to ape BOTW and even “borrows” enemy designs, which already tells you these people don’t give a fuck. Just don’t, and knew exactly how to use the “we pokedo what Nintendon’t” controversial energy to get every publication to talk about it.

That much they did and played it right, because i talked about it back then, and in the time between i wrote this thing it and posted, it sold 3 more million copies for a total of 8 millions, but oddly this isn’t so much about money, per se.

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Robot Holocaust (1986) [REVIEW] | Nobody expects the… Robot Holocaust?

Since newer generations of shit movie seekers might not be familiar with this one, let’s cover one of the “classics” in terms of poverty filmaking, one that indeed rivals the many horrible trashy exploitations movies we italians pumped out for the international market during the 70s and 80s, to a legendary degree. If you didn’t know, you would be forgiven in believing this was just another italian production with the usual combination of american actors and italian shooting locations.

Robot Holocaust has certainly that kind of aura to it, even more when it goes for the double whammy of having a sci fi story mixed the sword and sorcery bullshit… minus actual magic.

And i gotta say, upon revisiting it its still an impressive piece of legendary so bad its good shit, a relic from a past filled with movies like these that were so bad and poor in everything they ended up being accidentally funny, hilarious while being so bad it borders on being utright unwatchable shit.

For many of you, this isn’t anything new, at all, as the movie it’s pretty well known among older generations of crap cinema conosseurs, it’s “basic knowledge”, but Robot Holocaust deserves its place in bad movie history, and its legend it’s worth retelling over and over, even if it doesn’t involve Andre The Giant.

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[EXPRESSO] Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom (2023) | Wrath Of Black Manta

I quite enjoyed the first Aquaman film, a phrase i’d never expect to write down ever, so yeah, why not a sequel, which thankfully ignores all the DCEU reboot kerfluffle.

No need to known any of that, just having watched the first film, and in this direction continuation we see Arthur Curry having trouble living his double life as a father taking care of his son on the surface, and having to deal with the taxing diplomatic duties of Aquaman, king of Atlantis.

While trying to fix his suit and continue his quest for revenge against Aquaman, David Kane (aka Black Manta) discovers an underwater set of ruins in Antarctica, finding a mystical trident and a material known as Orichalcum, which he uses to power his newfound stash of Atlantean technology also lying in the ruins…

This leads to climate change-based disasters, forcing Aquaman to secretly free its previously imprisoned half-brother Orm in order to find Black Manta and stop his plans…

James Wan it’s back on the director’s chair, and he does manage to expand on the worldbuilding, with many varied locations (including the titular lost kingdom), squeezing a lot of story, action scenes, while also making Black Manta more the proper villain than the “accidental” one it was in the first movie, though that’s kinda undermined by the revelations about the Black Trident.

Which i don’t mind too much since it lets Wan infuse some horror elements in the mix, i’m always up for that, and the movie does manage to fit a lot in 2 hours while feeling just long enough.

Maybe it’s not better than the first, but it’s still a lot of fun, dumb fun, if you must, with a hearthy attitude about action fantasy superhero shenanigans that aims to give the viewers its all.

[EXPRESSO] Wish (2023) | “Feel the power of my MAAAGICKK!”

I was gonna skip this entirely, but since this is the animated film Disney chose to celebrate the company 100^th anniversary, i feel bound to cover it.

And it’s a special movie, but for the all the wrong reasons, as it’s a perfect crystalization of the company’s modern status, where the movie you’d rather see is the one lost in the original drafts, not the final product apparently assembled by focus groups and marketing than imagined by creatives.

The plot is about a guy named Magnifico that learned magic and created an ideal city, Rosas, on a island somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea, where he rules and fulfills the wishes his citizens entrust him.

But not all wishes can be granted, as her apprentice-to-be Asha founds out when the wish of his 100 yo granpa is still unfulfilled, then she accidentally summons a real star, making Magnifico paranoid enough to use a book of forbidden magic…

It’s a very arrogant movie that isn’t interested in pleasing its viewers, too busy up its own arse pulling a disgusting amount of Disney references and stuck wallowing in nostalgia to the detriment of everything else, while also exhibiting all the negative-cliched traits associated with Disney animated films, like overuse of musical segments, the talking animals, etc.

Plus it’s just plain uninspired, derivative, boring, the characters are utterly uninteresting and istantly forgettable, and while there was some potential, it’s all brought down by a senseless “magic system” that’s at the center of the story, even diegetically makes little to no sense and renders the final message moot.

The animation is good (even if the style reminds one of a 3DCG Netflix anime) and it’s a short sit, but this is just utter, recycled, cynical mediocrity that’s almost insulting coming from Disney, even modern Disney.

[EXPRESSO] Wonka (2023) | Dagashi Kashi KING

Wasn’t sold on Chalamet as a “young Willy Wonka”, but i grew curious as i learnt it was from the director and team behind the Paddington movies… even though i never did saw them, but regardless, i gave this prequel-reboot story a punt and i did walk away pleasantly surprised.

Though you have to approach it fully aware this isn’t even trying to imitate the older, far more popular and iconic Gene Wilder-starring adaptation of Dahl’s story, but clearly keeping it in mind, as this modern take deliberatly downplays the frothing vein of cynicism of the 1971 movie adaptation, going for a far more positive, whimsical and wholesome tone that both fits the source material and actually manages to invent a worthwhile origin story for the wonderful wizard of candy, the dagashi kashi king of ye old fantasy Europa.

The origin story in question has him arrive in a city where the major chocolate manufacturers show off their products, getting hoodwinked into pretty much life-long debt, but he finds friends in an orphan girl named Noodle and the other people tricked into working laundry, that help him concoct a plan to still sell chocolate, despite the city’s big nose chocolate moguls working hard to have him gone for good at any cost…

It’s very, very cute and wholesome, the musical numbers are still a sizeable part of the movie and those here are also quite charming, the plot doesn’t overcomplicate things, the 2 hours runtime is supported by good pacing so never feels overwhelming, Chalamet does a very good job depicting a young, overly naive and quirky weirdo chocolate salesman-inventor-street magician Willy Wonka, and the rest of the cast (including Rowan Atkinson as a glutton priest and Keegan-Michael Kay as a rotund police chief) also delivers with some delightful overacting.