Pikmin 4 NSWITCH [REVIEW] | Enter The Dogbus

10 years after the last mainline game, the beloved Nintendo series about floral strategy and cutesy war PTSD is back with Pikmin 4 for Nintendo Switch, and i was even more eager to get my mittens on it after replaying for review & funsies Pikmin 3 in its Deluxe edition-port on Switch.

Who am i kidding, after devouring the demo, i was ravenous to get into the full game ASAP.

Story is fairly typical Pikmin, as in, you know the deal by now: people keep crashlanding on this damn planet. And by people i mean poor Olimar, that crashlanded on the planet, sent out a SOS call, but then the rescue team itself had troubles with the ship, so its up to you, as the new recruit of the Rescue Corps (an intergalactic rescue organization) and one of its few “non-scattered around” remaining members to get the whole crew back together, then find and save Olimar, whom also sent them various pages of its journal.

Someone seem confused in terms of when it happens, even confusing it for a reboot/remake of the first game’s story (i guess since Olimar here too used Pikmins to get back the scattered pieces of its rundown but beloved ship, the Dolphin)… dunno why, but yep, since Olimar and Louie are involved too, and we get the new group of cute potato aliens also discuss of Koppai, the planet from where the expedition group of Pikmin 3 came from to avoid famine, heck, even an inhabitant from that planet later becomes an important plot point.

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[EXPRESSO] Snowbreak Containment Zone iOS/PC | TOF: The Trinity

Despite every reason not to, let’s brave the gacha waves once again in search of some new distraction that may or may not be the time investment, let alone the monetary one.

Today we have another anime styled gacha free to play game that seems like a proper TPS action-rpg or something along those lines, from chinese developer Seasun Games (also behind Girls Gun Cafè and Dawnlands), let’s give it a punt.

The plot starts vague enough, set in a dystopic ice & snow world where you play as an Adjutant to the Heimdall Force, the first assault group created to fight the Titans in the snow ridden and polluted Contaiment Zones that were formed after the mysterious cataclysm know as The Descent.

A lot of borrowing from Norse mythology for the names and the various boss enemies, designs of the ever popular “sci fi anime cyberpunk-esque” ilk with side of post-pandemic apocalypse and grim overtones, but still, the art direction (alongside the icy setting) is strong enough to make it a bit more distinguishable from its peers.

In terms of gameplay, it’s a cover based third person shooter affair, and while the virtual controls schemes available can fiddled with to and can be usable… i’d honestly recommend syncing a PS4 controller anyway (or playing it on PC via the dedicated client), since, while functional, the virtual controls are a bit too clunky to be optimal for a third person shooter.

That aside, gunplay is quite satisfying, designs are nice if a bit “tame”, the levels are short but keep introducing new enemies and obstacles at a decent rate, presentation and technical performance are rock solid, and honestly i do think it’s pretty good, still a gacha but monetizion is not particularly aggressive or manipulative, so it’s worth a try.

Futurama PS2 [REVIEW] | … With Blackjack and Hookers

To celebrate the second return of Futurama on TV (even if i’m not expecting much given how these modern resurrections-continuations of beloved animated TV series-franchises, but who knows, i’m remaining cautiously semi-optimistic), time to take a look at its forgotten – and by now quite rare – PS2/X-Box tie-in videogame, simply called “Futurama”.

And what it might as well be the only Futurama videogame, since there’s not much to say about the mobile only Futurama: Worlds Of Tomorrow, besides it being a cheap and shallow cash grab akin to many other free-to-play tycoon simulators, like Simpsons Tapped Out, maybe a little more complete since it had a combat system in it from the start, but still, mostly a shallow time waster very heavy on aggressively try to make you fork out cash for anything of “substance” available.

Then again, it’s not like you can play it anymore, the servers were closed for real (as in they were announced to be closing in 2022) this year on the 9th of March.

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Crocodile (1979) [REVIEW] | Thai Croc Jaws #sharksncrocspartdeux

Can’t get more basic than “Crocodile”, not “killer”, not “mutant”, nor “apocalypse”, just your plain old reptilian creature to not be confused with an alligator.

Which is arguably kind of a lie, since this is an obscure Thai monster movie that was made – in unison – “to ride Jaws’ coat-tail”. I don’t even do this on purpose, there’s that big a chance even killer croc movies somehow can be linked back to it, either due to the decade of their release or the basic plot structure and popularized cliches.

Often it’s both, as “Crocodile” was released just years after Jaws rocked the box office, AND the plot it’s virtually identical… or is it?

Not to be confused with a 1978’s Korean movie also with the international title of “Crocodile”, from which this 1979 Thai film is edited from… and by that i’d say it borrows some stock footage from the 1978 one, i don’t know to what extend, since i couldn’t find a copy of the 1978’s film, because i do believe these are two different – yet almost identical sounding – movies, not one and the same.

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Pikmin 4 DEMO NSWITCH [HANDS-ON] | The Dog Doing

so Nintendo just released a demo for Pikmin 4, coming at the end of this very month, and given how long i’ve been waiting for another Pikmin game, i’ve got sumething to say about it, for sure.

The first big addition to the formula is the hugely marketed “pikdog”, as in now you have a dog.

That already it’s a good thing, but thankfully this one isn’t gonna suffer the same fate of the dog in Call Of Duty Ghosts (as in getting locked forever into the toybox after being used once), as it ismore than a gimmick, serving as a mount (which can carry many pikmins on his back too) enabling traversal via jumping, being able to smash obstacles, dash, dig, fight by tackling and biting, and can even be controlled directly, especially useful in underground caves that can your character and Pikmins separated by an obstacle Occin (the dog) can’t pass through.

Plus, as your rescue more stranded astronauts you get more upgrade points for the dog, which is just lovely and obviously pretty useful.

And the dog already it’s a great addition to gameplay, and feel natural like it had always been there, but obviously, there is more, in the way of new types of Pikmin, ice and luminescent, but the demo only lets you encounter and use the Ice Pikmins, which already offer another way around exploration, as they can be even used to freeze water surfaces, alongside enemies.

But there has been some streamlining, as in now there is just a big “onion/deposit” for all Pikmins despite of their colors, the 3 protagonists multitasking of Pikmin 3 is gone, and – the more controversial one – there is no limited number of days under which to accomplish the various tasks, which might sound terrible to some old time fans, but frankly i don’t get the issue, since Pikmin 3 already utilized a system that basically gave the player a lot of days to accomplish the various objectives, like a lot, especially if you went for completition.

So really, the removal of the limited days altogether it’s more vestigial than controversial, and i’m fine with it since the days themselves retain the limited time indicating how much you have left before it’s nightfall and you have to scurry back to camp in order to avoid getting your Pikmin eaten by the hungry beasts that are even more aggressive at night.

Hence even so you get some sense of urgency, as you wanna still get the most out of your day of gathering and exploring and rescuing, etc.

Regardless, the fan favourite caves to explore are back from Pikmin 2, and work more or less identically, but are also more abundant in the huge levels/areas, and now there is more emphasis on resource gathering, with these new gems that can be retrieved and converted in building material for bridges and the like, or used as currency to buy items and gadgets from the scientist/inventor, ranging to rotten carrots to paralyze enemies, dog treats, and stuff like fireproof abilitiees.

And these new additions gel without issue with the formula, nothing feels forced or there because there needs to be more shit in a sequel, regardless if it makes sense, no, thankfully Nintendo didn’t really fucked with the proven formula, but expanded it well.

The trailers revealed that indeed now we’ll be able to explore at night, but since the demo ends when you get a certain amount of the new energy resource, the Luminium, we’ll have to play the full release to find out.

Not that this is a small demo, it’s pretty sizeable, including the tutorial area and letting you play a big chunk of it, it’s one of those where you kinda forget you were actually playing a demo so you feel bamboozled by the game telling you “thanks for playing the demo up to where we meant you to play it”.

Speaking of which, by finishing the demo you’ll be able to unlock an Occin costume in Pikmin Bloom, alongside the expected ability to carry over the progress to the full game.

Yeah, as a longtime fan of the series, i’m honestly just chomping at the bit to have the full thing on my hands to play more of it, so yeah, check it out to get your fix on.

Pinocchi-O-Rama #6: √964 Pinocchio (1991)

Have i gone completely insane, spotlighting this one for a Pinocchio-inspired retrospective?

But then again we never talk about some good ol’ japanese cyberpunk body horror… and i guess today is no different because we’re talking about 964 Pinocchio.

Also called “Screams Of Blasphemy” for its UK release. Whatever.

And no, i still have no clue if the numbers in the title mean anything aside indicating that there were other 963 “pinocchio/sex slaves” manifactured before him, since he’s got that tattooed on his back, branded like an utility.

Honestly i wasn’t sure about including this one, but for variety’s sake, fuck it, i’m not reviewing Pinocchio In Space. Despite the obvious allure.

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Thunder Of The Gigantic Serpent (1988) [REVIEW] #snakesofjunetoo

One of the more infamous piece of copy n paste cinema from the IFD Film & Arts factory of Godfrey Ho and associates, one that happens NOT to be a ninja movie with their pink ninja pajamas and 30 seconds superfights against caucasian ninja masters, but the other kind of exploitation the company specialized in, the “actionxploitation” flick with super american stereotypes fighting against criminals of some ilk, all played by the same 6 non-asian guys Ho and Lai employed.

And we’re lucky because we got Pierre Kirby in this one, playing agent Ted Fast, who only works alone because he’s so good and not utterly stupid, opposing the crime boss Solomon, after a secret formula that can make animals and plants grow to gigantic proportions, like 3000 times their original size.

But sadly Solomon will have to crime very hard for it, since the formula is actually from the “host movie” spliced in by Godfrey Ho (here directing), a 1984 Taiwanese kaiju movie titled “She Wang” (translating to “King Of Snakes”) about a pet snake, Mosla, belonging to a little girl that accidentally comes in contact with the formula, grows giant, and then stars rampaging because the terrorists after the formula kidnap the girl, and Mosla is having none of it.

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[EXPRESSO] The Flash (2023) | Weather Report

Let’s get this over with, because i’m not really too comfortable with the idea of this review, as i previously stated, but i made a decision, so here we are.

Even casting aside the heinous shit Erza Miller pulled, i can’t say i was ever well disposed towards the film, as i didn’t really care much for The Flash as a character, the trailers and promos we eventually saw surface were more about Michael Keaton returning as Batman, an alluring prospect for older generations like mine that grew up on the 1989 Burton classic, paraded as “bait” because Batman brings ALL the boys to the yard, so to speak.

And i guess to remember you THIS world is unfair and cruel, the movie that should have been a total piece of shit… it’s not. I’d make a joke about dodging lightining, but why couldn’t Black Adam have been alright and this one a turd.. i guess it’s ironic in its own right.

The plot concerns Barry Allen, The Flash himself, using his powers to go faster than light and eventually to go back in time, all so he can avoid the incident that saw his mother die and his father wrongfully imprisoned. He eventually succeeds, meets his younger self, but learns that his actions led to a new timeline entirely, one where a lot of his super hero friends and colleagues never existed, but other villains did.

Thankfully he finds that reality’s Batman (Michaeal Keaton) and tries to launch a counter-offensive to save everyone…

Yeah, sure, some of the CG work can be uncanny valley levels of off-putting at times, the ending basically “pulls a JoJo” for more cynical reasons, but against all expectations, the movie it’s alright, it’s decent.

I’ve seen FAR worse offerings, especially from the DC side.

[EXPRESSO] Spider Man: Across The Spiderverse (2023) | Peter Parter

This review it’s only a formality, but yes, indeed, i had high expectations of this new Spider Man animated movie after Into The Spiderverse was a surprise smash hit, an unexpected excellent opus from an animation studio mostly known for Hotel Transylvania and The Angry Birds movie.

We never saw it coming, but it happened and while it had the side effect of making the live-action Marvel offerings kinda redundant and pointless, i would have been happy even if there wasn’t a sequel, despite being no reason to stop there, i mean, we got the new origin story/introduction of Miles Morales as one of the many Spider Man personas, the studio was gonna follow that up regardless.

This sequel to Into The Spiderverse also follows in the recent resurgence of “two parters” (giving even more proof that time is a flat circle, at least in terms of entertaiment media), and in this “part 1” we see Miles (and Gwen) venture deeper into the multiverse of various Spider personas from many dimensions/universes, meeting a new team of “Spidersonas” known as Spider Society, led by Miguel O’Hara (aka Spider Man 2099), but instead of collaborating they end up clashing in regards of how to deal with the villain at hand.

And honestly it meets the high expectations set by the previous movie, delivering a lot of inspired visuals, variety of animation styles and stylization, new charming and likable characters, plus the story dwelves deeper into the multiverse aspect, Miles’ role in this, so even if it ends on a cliffhanger for “part 2”, it’s not just 2 hours and 1/2 of setup, it’s already very very good as expected, and again it manages to make you really care even if you weren’t already much invested in Spiderman his many comic book incarnations/iterations.

Venomous/Venom (2001) [REVIEW] | #snakesofjunetoo

We’re out of Anaconda sequels at the moment (there’s a reboot in the works, confirmed 3 months ago with Tom Gormican, better known for The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent) , so let’s start digging into another barrel o’ snakes by rummaging – as we usually end up doing – through Fred Olen Ray filmography.

Not that i picked up the movie this way, it was another random find on Amazon Prime Video, but there’s no real surprise to see him listed as director… under one of his pseudonyms, Ed Raymond this time, why shouldn’t be his work?

Not to be confused with Silent Venom from 2009, also directed by Fred Olen Ray, in which he realized he could put snakes inside of submarines instead of planes.

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