War Of The Colossal Beast (1958) [REVIEW] | Recasting The Giant

Last year we tackled The Amazing Colossal Man, so it just common courtesy to cover the sequel, War Of The Colossal Beast, released just 1 year after and again directed, written and produced by the master of rear-projection cinema, Bert I. Gordon.

And yes, this isn’t just a loose remake/redo that might or might not take place after the original, this is actually a sequel, which isn’t always a given for this kind of movie, even more since it wasn’t marketed as a sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man (hence the title that doesn’t include “colossal man” in it) and the cast is different. But like the first movie, it was originally released as a double-feature, this time with another Bert I. Gordon flick, Attack Of The Puppet People, which i already mentioned in the review for The Amazing Colossal Man (and has an amazing Rifftrax version out).

After an alarming number of food delivery trucks robberies in Mexico, Joyce Manning, the sister of lieutenant Glenn Manning, starts to investigate and believes his brother, mutated into the giant, actually survived being shot by a tank and falling off the Boulder Dam, as she suspect he might be behind the delivery trucks being robbed of food.

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Giant Monster March 2022 is GO!

Some things come and go, but giant monsters are forever!

Yeah, while i’m still keeping the bi-daily posting rate, starting tomorrow for this month every posting day when there’s not a new movie EXPRESSO review there will be a full lenght giant monster movie review. Simple as that, so see ya tomorrow for the first one of this year, hoping this will become a yearly institution! 🙂

[EXPRESSO] Death On The Nile (2022) | Mustache Of Fortune

I always feel a bit anxious about reviewing newer adaptations of classic Agatha Christie’ novels, since i’m not really much familiar with the often many previous ones both released in cinemas or as TV movie and-or miniseries. But i did quite like Kenneth Branagh’s 2017 film adaptation of Murder On The Orient Express, and i was looking forward to this one as well, so let’s talk about it.

It’s not really a sequel to that, meaning that aside some returning cast members, the obvious returning character of Hercule Poirot (and Branagh talking about a “Christieverse” of sorts in the long run), this is its own self-contained story that doesn’t require prior viewing of Hercule Poirot VS The Sinister Six or shit like that. Those thankfully still exist, FIY.

The basic plot doesn’t really require much explanation, as the story itself it’s pretty well known, and it’s a classic murder mistery that has eccentric and beloved detective Hercule Poirot founding himself strung into a murder case (this time committed on a river boat sailing the Nile) while invited by an acquaintance of his and “employed” by a couple to ward off a crazed stalker.

It’s definitely old-fashioned, down to the “ol’ school Hollywood” dance scenes, the story it’s still quite good and worth retelling, Branagh is phenomenal as Poirot and the ensemble cast it’s excellent, but it’s bogged down by a not small amount of not that important material, like a whole war flashback that almost entirely exists to explain Poirot’s mustache (i’m not kidding).

When it gets going it gets good, but it’s questionable if you can or want to forgive the fact the movie just takes WAY more than its sweet time to get going properly.

I personally do, but mileage might and will vary, justifiably (and rightfully) so.

Nintendo Direct 9/02/2022 | Rites Of N

That time again, time to put on your robe and attend the ceremony with expectations so far out to make worshippers of the Old Gods looks like wannabe zealots!

Especially since all fair criticism of the company is dropped by most people (and publications) when a Direct happens. But again, this is sadly “business as usual”, let’s move on.

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Iridion 3D STEAM [REVIEW] | Advance To Steam

Time for some picks from my embarassingly big Steam library, and why not one of the last things you expect to see on Steam, like…ports of Game Boy Advance games?

Yep, sometimes Steam being the de facto more used platform/store doesn’t just lead to lots of unfunny simulator crap trying to meme their way into profit, there’s clearly enough space for it to be used as a cheap, affordable and easy way for publishers to make some money back from their older catalogue, and it’s not really surprising, since the publisher in case it’s Majesco, a surprisingly resilient small publisher that published a lot of crap over the years, and… re-sell it, since they also brought over to Steam the infamous Drake Of The 99 Dragons, reviewed last year.

Though this case…well, cases are still odd, since Majesco basically ported both Iridion 3D and Iridion II from the Game Boy Advance to the PC, with the obvious expectations that come with it, since both games were made to play on a very small screen.

At least Majesco priced these very cheap, which is quite sensible to do, and they end up often on sale, so it’s easy to get the “Iridion Collection” bundle for three bucks.

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[EXPRESSO] Zookeeper World iOS | Match From The Past

Look what the Apple Arcade (yeah, eventually i decided to pay for it, 5 bucks a month it’s not a bad deal overall, in my opinion) resurrected, Zoo Keeper of all franchises.

I distinctly remember when this little match-3 puzzle game came out and managed to make the transiction from cute fun free flash game to full retail release..s, not just on the Game Boy Advance and DS, but even on the PS2. Those were different times indeed.

Of course it had been released on smarthphones after that, as Zoo Keeper DX Touch Edition and it even got a free-to-play VS version, Zoo Keeper Battle.

This new game retains the distinct aesthetic that admittely makes the series stand out more than the gameplay itself, one that translates well in voxel-style 3D graphics, but thankfully developer Kiteretsu also added more aside puzzles, in this case being the ever-popular “simulation-lite” management elements of adding more stuff to increase the appeal of the zoo, fulfilling requests, or doing menial jobs like cleaning up, alongside some minigames.

The simulation elements are lite as expected and needed, but the core gameplay it’s surprisingly addictive and manages to keep things interesting enough along the way via new obstacles and gimmicks, despite being a simple match-3 affair.

Though i do wonder if it was originally built as a free-to-play game, it’s clearly structured like one in terms of unlocks and progression, there are more currencies and cosmetic stuff like a punk costume for the monkeys, but since it’s an Apple Arcade release there are no microtransactions and shit, so you can actually enjoy playing a puzzle game on mobile without being continuosly pressured into paying money to skip deliberately excessive grind.

Not exactly a “subscription seller” or whatnote, but it’s honestly just good mobile puzzle game fun.

[EXPRESSO] Nightmare Alley (2021) | Con Carny

If you’re wondering whenever you should or should not go watch Guillermo Del Toro’s latest film, Nightmare Alley (which has just released here in theathers)…. stop reading this and just go watch it in theathers. It’s 2 hours and a half, yes, but make no mistake, nothing is drawn out or superfluous, it’s one of those very long AND very good Hollywood movies that sometimes still happen.

It’s really fuckin great, so just go watch it now!

Set in the 1940s, the film follows a poor man that enters one of the many circus-fairs troupes, and alonsgide the many tricks of the shady trade, he learns that he has quite the ability as a barker, and trained by an old french mentalist-type carny, he puts his quick wit and oratory prowess to the test time and time again, until he masters them and leaves the circus (alongside his love interest) to bring his act out of the squallid, lurid and shady countryside fairs.

He manages to make a name for himself, bringing his deceptive craft to renowed establishments, living a luxurious life with his wife, but the allure of more money and fame brings him to collude with a corrupt psychatrist and perform as more than a mere mentalist…

The cast it’s great, the acting it’s stellar, the story it’s a classic period piece tale of greed and desperation about the age-old craft of tricking-conning people, the drama is excellent, the characters are great, and the love for horror imagery (and some fairly violent moments) by Del Toro it’s still strong as ever. The 1940’s America of carnies, conmen and prestige it’s alluring as its squallid, the cinematography is fantastic, and it’s enrapturing from beginning to end.

It’s that kind of arguably familiar story, but boy the execution is excellent.

Shriek of The Mutilated (1974) [REVIEW] | Have you ever had… a Yeti feast?

I teased it a couple of times, so why not, let’s go down deep into the yeti hole by fishing out cult exploitation crapfest Shriek of The Mutilated, a classic go-to for fans of the cinematic abysmal, a common territory for most movies about the legendary humanoid cryptid Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti, as the poor bastard it’s quite popular fodder for bad movies regardless of decade.

This is some primo shlock, coming from Michael Findlay and his wife Roberta Finlay, both infamous exploitation directors and producers behind many erotic and horror films, but i’d wager you most likely know them for the rather infamous Snuff from 1975, aka them riding the rumors around the existence of actual snuff films, marketing Snuff itself as a real snuff movie and making it about non-Charles Manson guiding around his cult followers into a killing spree.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #12: Journey To The Beginning Of Time (1955)

It’s the final day of the 12 Days Of Dino Dicember, so let’s end it with a proper obscure gem, the Czech movie Journey To The Beginning Of Time. As in the original, not the re-cut, re-filmed version that reached US territories in 1966 under the same name.

Today thankfully you can watch it as it was released on a region-free Blu Ray by Second Run, which also includes the English version, but i’m not gonna bother with that for now. Sorry, but i simply can’t afford the time to watch that as well and compare the two.

This comes from Karel Zeman (no, not the soccer manager), nicknamed the “Czech Melies”, famous for his fantasy films combining live action and animation, and hugely influential, not surprising to fellow czech Jan Svankmajer (you can’t imagine how happy i am by just having the occasion of nominating him in any of these reviews, retrospectives, but beloved by many american directors, like Terry Gilliam and Tim Burton, and serving as inspiration to Jurassic Park itself.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #11: The Beast Of Hollow Mountain (1956)

I promised it time ago, i referenced it very recently when talking about Cowboys VS Dinosaurs, so this is a… relatively long time coming, but i did really want to cover what it’s arguably the original and most distinctive piece of the “weird west” subgenre, which includes the sub-subgenre of “dinosaur westerns”, with The Beast Of Hollow Mountain.

Thankfully this one shouldn’t be that hard to find, even for collectors, as it was included in collections and – luckily for me – received a HD restoration on DVD, one i didn’t even had to import, as it’s available in Italy thanks to Sinister Films ( even includes 1953’s full lenght feature The Neanderthal Man as an extra), though under its old and hilarious localized title, “La Valle Dei Disperati”, which translates to “Valley Of The Hopeless”. XD

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