The Spooktacular Eight #4: Big Tits Zombie / Big Tits Dragon (2010)

Based on the manga Big Tits Dragon from Rei Mikamoto (Satanister, Reiko The Zombie Shop, Bloody Deliquent Chainsaw Girl, A Girl of The Iron Ghost), directed and written by Takao Nakano, a famous japanese satirist, or so the Wikipedia page says, in any case i never heard of him before, but giving his background in the japanese adult video market and the cast made out of famous faces from the japanese porn industry (again, so says Wikipedia, i can’t know everything), and given how he did a parody of sorts of Cronenberg’s Shivers (called Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy, which is up there with Killer Condom as titles you can give movies)….yes, he being involved makes total sense.

It was shot in 3D, which it won’t matter to me since i can’t access a 3D version, and of course there’s no european release of any kind, home video, streaming, nada. Actually, there is a german release and there was an UK release by Terracotta Productions (even had a limited UK theathrical run), but the latter is nowhere to be found, not on their store, site, or even on most ecommerce sites.

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Zombieland – Double Tap: Roadtrip PS4 [REVIEW] | Now without zombie idols

Like it often happens with tie-in games, if the first movie doesn’t have a branded videogame out in time, the sequel will. Though it took quite some time to see a follow up to Zombieland, enough time for tie-in videogames released as retail, proper videogames to feel almost fresh again, opposed to a very cheap freemium game for smarthphones or as promotional events into gacha garbage.

While it’s named after the sequel, Zombieland – Double Tap, and its main characters, the game has its own story set in between the two films, and it captures the spirit and humour of the series pretty well, even if it’s clearly a budget tie-in job, not only from in terms of looks, but as the cast from the movie didn’t provide their voices for the game, leaving other voice actors to do impressions… bad impressions, but i’m not angry as the Harrelson/Tallahassee’s and Eisenberg/Columbus impressions are so bad i find them hilarious and kinda charming, especially the Harrelson one. XD

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[EXPRESSO] Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) | Venom, Accidental LGBT Icon

The 2018’s Venom movie was kinda interesting and a oddity of sorts, as it came out unbound by tethers to the MCU, while being a Marvel IP born out of the Spider Man comics, without Spider Man, deliberately put out in a way to easily dismiss its very existence if it need be.

I will not lie, that movie wasn’t good at all, frankly a big mess that did deserve being called out on not being nowhere good… but it was so stupid and fun i found myself liking it a lot in spite of all its obvious flaws, especially when it’s being this goofy buddy comedy about Tom Hardy and his parasite monster “best friend by force” that just happens to be an alien parasite monster.

Ridiculous but incredibly enjoyable.

It was also quite the box office hit, so the teaser of Carnage at the end of the first one is realized in this sequel, Let There Be Carnage, which has serial killer Cletus Kasady (played by Woody Harrelson) escape from prison after becoming the host of Carnage, a spawn of Venom itself, which complicates thing for Eddie Brock, still adjusting to his new life as a host to the symbiote.

This one is directed by motion capture extraordinarie Andy Serkis (instead of Ruben Fleischer), and like the first Venom, it’s a flawed affair (this one has basically no second act, just set up and then fights) through and through, stupid as hell but sincere and reveling in its own dumb nature. Once again the romcom parts are better than the action scenes, but overall makes for a strangely refreshing throwback to old superhero movies that could be imperfect, messy fun.

Though i won’t be surprised if eventually Marvel doesn’t integrate this series into the MCU somewhat. We’ll see.

Drake Of The 99 Dragons STEAM [REVIEW] | Back catalogue horrors

Yeah, i don’t need to introduce this one, given his legendary bad game status as one of the worst ones ever on the original X-Box, etc.

I didn’t consider why i never heard of it here in “the Boot”, but i soon realized Majesco never bothered to even give this one an european release (same as the infamous Aquaman: Battle For Atlantis for Gamecube, we European were spared that one). At least on X-Box, it was released on PC in 2004 in Europe as well, i can attest because i found a PC physical copy of this on a flea market for a buck.

Eventually, in 2018, it was re-released on Steam for 6,99 € (or regional equivalent), with some improvements and bugs fixed in an attempt to “un-shit” the game a bit and tempt gaming masochists like me who never played the game themselves. It worked.

And it’s the season for horrors, so strap in, there’s a lot of rotten guts here to morbously examine and fiddle with.

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Alice: Otherlands (2015) [REVIEW] | Uncertain Fate Kickstarted

While Alice Asylum (as said in the review of Madness Returns) is now officially in the pre-production stage of development, the path to this potential third game in the series hasn’t been a walk in the park for anyone involved, and it was bound to be full of bumps and by-products because a third game was never certain, so it makes sense that American Mc Gee tried to bring closure to his series back in 2015, with the project known as “Alice Otherlands”, made of artworks and two short animated films produced by Spicy Horse, funded via Kickstarter, as the owner of the Mc Gee’sAlice IP itself, EA, wasn’t interested in funding a third game, at all, so they had to pivot the project.

Fuck EA, btw. Just in case you needed more incentives to do so. You didn’t.

What came out of it where – mostly – the two aforementioned short films, Leviathan – A Journey Through Jules Verne’s Mind and A Night At The Opera.

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The Spooktacular Eight #3: Evil Of Dracula (1974)

We gotta have a vampire film in here, but i’m not feeling like talking of Vampyros Lesbos, the old Hammer Dracula films have been done to death, and Yakuza Apocalypse is pretty well known, so let’s compromise and by that i mean feature something not quite from left field, but close enough.

So let’s take a look at a 70s japanese vampire movies clearly going after the western depiction and aesthetic, with Evil Of Dracula, which is actually the last piece of the so called “Bloodthirsty Trilogy” (later rereleased worlwide by Arrow Video) of vampire movies, beginning with Bloodsucking Doll/Vampire Doll, continuing with Lake Of Dracula, then Evil Of Dracula.

I should have done the entire trilogy, i guess that’s what happens when you pick a movie for a random Halloween selection without doing any proper research on it beforehand.

That’ll learn me.

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[EXPRESSO] Castlevania: Grimoire Of Souls iOS | Rise from your Konami grave

Another review i wasn’t expecting to make anymore, since this mobile Castlevania title was made available only in Australia (outside of the usual asian territories) before getting removed after only one year. Until it was recently resurrected as an exclusive Apple Arcade title, so this version is free of microtransactions bullshit seen in the original free to play release.

It also “means” i used the free trial period to play it and see if it’s any good.

Plot see Alucard travel through various magic books (the titular “grimoires”) regarding all past events and stories of the Castlevania games, all to subdue the dark power that has grown in them and keep them under control. An excuse as any to have all the characters from the series together.

Gameplay it’s an actual sidescroller 2D Castlevania that really benefits from playing it with a gamepad (and now it’s easy as pie to connect a PS4 or X-Box One controller to iOS devices), but it’s fairly playable even with the touch controls, and know what?

It ain’t bad.

The removal of microtransactions is compensated by handing out the “premium currency” liberally, but they didn’t change anything else, so it’s clear this was originally designed as a mobile free-to-play game, with multiple currencies and resources, gacha for weapons and items, and having to keep upgrading the characters’ “power levels”.

It’s not a bad game per se, it’s just not very good either, it starts promising enough but the level designs and enemies take a while to ramp up, and it hindering from being better by mobile design trappings, so it values content more than the quality and favors the usual “upgrading shit” as a way to resolve hurdles over actual skill.

Still, it’s just ok, nothing that bad to be worth shutting it down.

Coffee Pigeons and Nintendo sub-subscriptions bullshit

So Nintendo had an Animal Crossing Direct yesterday, mainly to show what would be in the next big AC New Horizons software update, alongside the previously teased return of Brewster and his cafè situated in the museum.

Let’s start with the good.

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Alice: Madness Returns PS3 [REVIEW] | Swimming The Seas Of Sanity Lost

11 years later, American MacGee brought back his flawed cult game for a direct sequel with Alice: Madness Returns, and as EA (and other publishers) were big on fighting the used game market with the “online passes”, this time they wanted to discourage from buying the game used by inserting in new copies a code to redeem the original American McGee’s Alice, basically treated as DLC.

Thankfully now the older game is free DLC on both PSN and the X-Box store, you still need a copy of Madness Returns to access it, but still, better than on PC, now available only through Origin (it was on Steam as well but got delisted), it doesn’t seem to include the original American MacGee’s Alice game. At least not anymore. I’m not throwing cash away to find out for sure.

A re-release of both titles might be in order, i guess as soon as MacGee can buy back the rights from EA or when we’ll have some news about that hypotetical Alice: Asylum, who had a tentative date of 31 October 2021… but in 3 years we didn’t hear anything aside from the fact that the title is in pre-production, meaning clearly that release date is not gonna be final, so for the meantime these are the options to visit (or revisit) the series.

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[EXPRESSO] 007: No Time To Die (2021) | Next, on The Venture Bros…

I was almost not gonna review this new 007 film, i usually enjoy them, but they’re not exactly my favourite type of movie, and i haven’t see one in theathers (or at all) since Casino Royale, but i’d figured we could use a break from the horror stuff, and i trust Cary Fukunaga.

Before tackling the plot, let me say i like Daniel Craig as Bond, but i won’t lie, i did like the idea-rumor of casting Idris Elba as the secret agent himself that was floating around when the movie was announced, but i guess we’ll have to wait for the next one.

Sure as hell they want it to feel like a big comeback, since it has been 6 years since the last one, Spectre, which wasn’t that well received, and this also being the last time Craig will play the character…. i guess explains how (and partially “why”) it’s almost 3 hours.

Plot is about James Bond being recruited by the CIA (after he resigned from the MI6) to rescue a kidnapped scientist, but things lead to thing and eventually to a showdown between Bond and a powerful villain (played by Rami Malek) with a nefarious plan…

Maybe it’s because i literally haven’t seen a Bond film in more than a decade, but honestly this actually hits all the right and expected notes from a 007 flick, it embraces the style of the series and plays it just right, without trying to ape other spy flicks, cynically chasing modern trends or – on the flipside – stubbornly trenching itself in the old shit just to spite modernity.

It’s a consolidated, familiar formula, here well executed, with likeable characters, spectacular action setpieces, a stellar cast. Arguably a bit longer than one would expected (or want), but far from slow moving, good overall, i’d say.