The Spooktacular Eight #26: The Mutilator AKA Fall Break (1983)

Again picking another fairly unknown, mostly forgotten 80s slasher from my evergrowing Arrow Video collection, i keep joking about how there’s apparently an endless supply of these for these companies to restore, but there ARE so many 80s slashers that many were bound to be forgotten over the decades, even by the die-hard fan of the horror subgenre.

So it’s still kinda fun to go through them, because you might find something fun, maybe not good, maybe even surprisingly well crafted, it’s a crapshoot, but that’s also part of the appeal in hindsight.

But due to the nature of the odds in question, they can’t all be winners, or interesting little products of their time with some value or some history to them.

Sometimes you land on the zero, you go all in and zoom, bang, your pants are gone, your ass on display for the croupier and players to see, and corporal punishment is back in the menù to make them cheek blush with shame, because why not kick you while you’re down?

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[EXPRESSO] Mantopus! (2025) | Octaman’s Father

Had to see a newly released on Amazon Prime Video film called “Mantopus!” that is retro styled meta comedy about a now washed horror director finding the titular “man-octopus” hybrid in a mysterious antique shop and deciding to use it as the star of his final horror film, Mantopus, a Creature From The Black Lagoon knock-off.

It’s one of these modern retro styled comedies akin to stuff like The Lost Skeleton Of Kadavra, but set in the late 50s-early 60s, arking back to the drive-in era of monster movies, with a Michael Gough-looking director (as the whole movie it’s basically a tribute to him), a slimeball making stuff like the fictional “Frankenstein In Texas” to the dismay of his producer, running “not-American International Pictures”, but the director becomes mad and starts using the monster to eliminate his “enemies”.

I will say it’s an interesting proposition, because while it’s not too hard by now to emulate the visual style of these shlocky films, you ironically gotta have decent actors able to deliberately act bad the purposefully stock dialogue that seems somehow dubbed in post even when it’s obviously not, but Mantopus manages to get that and most importantly gets right the feel of these old movies, and the tone, that both makes fun but also celebrates with sincerity these films, that actually likes the drive-in trashfests about monsters with little to no budgets but high on violence and “nudity”.

It’s all done with affection instead of spite or mockery, the overacting is lovely as its the deliberate awkward delivery of basically every line and stock discussion, it’s a quite fun film, though it’s a very niche movie made for a very specific audience, one that loves cheesy horror of yore and will notice the posters aren’t for made up old movies.

The Machine (2013) [REVIEW] | Social Credit Cyborgs

Time for some random sci-fi movie i put in my Amazon Prime Video watchlist months-to-years ago to actually get seen, and the dice chose 2013’s The Machine by director Caradog D. James.

In the future, the United Kindgom is on the verge of war against China over the Taiwan issue, and in an underground military base, a scientist produce a cybernetic implant that allows brain damaged soldiers to regain lost functions, with the first test subjects showing lack of empathy and memory loss, but eventually the research leds to better cyborgs, which loses the ability to speak but develop an even more efficient method of comunication amongst them.

the project might even go one step further when a new researcher, Ava, is brought on board for her work on IA, despite the lab director being wary of her countercultural opinions on the subject, as her talent might lead to finally develop a self-aware and conscious android.

Needless to say, something goes wrong along the way, it’s a sci-fi film about cyborgs and it doesn’t exactly sound original…. like at all.

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Tank! Tank! Tank! WIIU [REVIEW] | The Tank Defence Force Deploys?

Nintendo ported the shit out of the Wii U library, reasonably so, hence there are very few exclusives that are “trapped” on the Switch precedessor… most are crap like Devil’s Third and Sonic Boom: Rise Of Lyric, Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival, some sports-fitness games or party games, and somehow STILL the HD ports of Wind Waker and Twilight Princess.

Tank Tank Tank is technically not an exclusive, since it’s a port of a 2009 arcade game published and developed by Namco Bandai internally (itself a spiritual successor on a previous arcade game by Namco, 1996’s Tokyo Wars, according to Wikipedia), rereleased in 2012 on Wii U, serving as launch title for the console in North America.

It was initally released digitally as a free to play thingie where you could play the single player campaign for free but had to buy the various multiplayer mode as DLC (which it eventually reverted to 1 year later) but it was also released physically as a complete package, which its the version i own and i’m basing the review on.

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Land Shark (2017) [REVIEW] | #sharkapalooza

As we learned through years of shark movies, pretty much anything goes, especially as the budgets move closer to zero, even in these cases you can do a poster that’s way better than the movie could ever be, at the very least. Money is important, but lacking it can’t stop you making your movies about shark of any kind or type, as we already saw in Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast.

It’s another Mark Polonia film, but it’s one that immediatly, even after hundreds of these no budget sharks film (often made by him or his friends-colleagues), does make one stop and reflect on the fact that – maybe, maybe – this is crossing some unspoken line or etiquette, even amongst this kind of shark film, when you make a rip-off of Sand Sharks.

And also of Super Shark, which had a giant shark somehow moving on land, but that one was actually so craptastic to be memorable, both movies far older than this, so one has to wonder if – maybe – it wasn’t intentional, but i find it hard to believe the Polonia Brothers (of all people) weren’t aware of previous movies like Sand Sharks. To be more correct, i simply don’t.

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Shiver Me Timbers (2025) [REVIEW] | Night Of The Sailor Comet

As the time of writing (and posting, since i improvised this trifecta of Popeye horror films’ reviews) this is the more recent in the batch of 3 horror films based around Popeye’s copyright falling into the public domain that were basically dumped on VOD, all released in a matter of months (or weeks) from one another, and while i’m fairly sure there by September (to be very generous) this specific declination of the fad will have died down due to diminishing returns (since it’s the third time, after Winnie The Pooh and Steamboat Willy’s Mickey Mouse) … i’m not putting this mini-marathon of modern “public domainxploitaition” in “extend mode” if another one or more of these eventually crop up, i’m not playing catch-up anymore.

So let’s see how Shiver Me Timbers, the debut film for director-writer Paul Stephen-Mann, fares out.

In the summer of 1986, a group of friends, led by Olive Oil and her brother Castor, are going on a trip in Northern California to witness the rare Haley’s comet meteor shower event, but they couldn’t expect that a comet piece would fall to the ground that night, a piece lodging itself into the corncob pipe of a reclusive fisherman living nearby, Popeye, now turned into a monstrous, violent killer with superhuman strenght, ready to sate its bloodthirst on Olive and his friends..

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Avatar The Last Airbender: Quest For Balance PS4 [REVIEW] | Sokoban Benders

Cards on the table: i’ve never seen the Avatar animated series, always heard it pretty good, i know it had/has a big following, enough for a reviled live action film to exist, but i simply didn’t care too much because i didn’t grow up watching that, and i never felt like i needed to later, i mean, i spent my teens watching anime, why bother with a western cartoon (that wasn’t Samurai Jack) tackling asian inspired stories and themes, when i can read Naruto directly?

Can’t really say i learned much about the series through osmosis, as i’ve seen people discuss about it, and since i guess it didn’t grab much European markets, some of the games based off it did reach the PAL territories, but not when the series was wildly popular and discussed about, i feel, back then we also got the shitty Legend Of Korra game Platinum Games made, which i did play and review on PS3 but has long been delisted and never received a physical release.

So i’ve figured i’d grab this last one, as it was actually released in 2023 by Gamemill, got in a bundle with the infamous Rise Of Kong, because why not? Might as well stick my entire head into the garbo bin, to see what foul creatures are lying in wait below the surface.

And to my understanding, the games based around this beloved Nickelodeon show (and the spin-offs) are mostly crap or disappointing at best, and this i feel ain’t gonna be the exception.

This is to say i don’t know the story in any detail, but i know the gist… and i feel the people that developed the game did know less than me, and just skimmed some summaries online in order to write the story and dialogues..

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Titanic II (2010) [REVIEW] | A Mockbuster To Remember

Given it’s the “most romantic time of the year” (according to advertising agencies and florists), you know what that means, talking about one of the most beloved romance movies of all time.

Or instead, talk about it’s “sequel”, because i can’t think of a more fit/unfit timing to scratch one more from my “sub-bucket list” of reviews.

Because even before the current state of the company, The Asylum was never one to back away from any semblance of shame, to tackle things that to others were mere jokes, snark meant to mock but never actually manifest itself as an actual thing.

There was (nor there is) no joke or niche the company wouldn’t dig into the ground, so unbound by moral burdens like shame and shit, they actually made Titanic 2.

As most of you already could guess, yep, this is a mockbuster, meaning the title is a lie.. or is it?

How much of a lie to legally avoid charges and how much actually fitting?

Hold on to your Minecraft raft, things are about to get even more disasterrific, cheaper and bullshittier, with The Asylum’s daring to make “boat 9/11” all over again, which is still less offensive and egregious than the Italian Titanic animated movies (and Tentacolino), i’d argue.

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Bloody New Year (1987) [REVIEW] | The Evil Dead Spooktacular Fun Fair Knock-off-O-Rama

I know i was supposed to rewrite/revise or straight up redo old reviews for the rest of January, but since i usually don’t do it due 12 Days Of Dino December filling up the slots, i’ve figured i still would write a brand new review, about one of the few “New Year’s Eve” themed holiday 80s slashers.

No, not that one, we’re doing Bloody New Year.

Yeah, it’s a cop-out since it’s almost February, but whatever, consider it a freebie of sorts, a Spooktacular Eight review but in January, if you prefer.

Regardless, yes, surprisingly this subniche of holiday horror hasn’t been mined.. at all, without doing some research i struggle to come up with any more of “new year’s slashers” that isn’t the other one i alluded to before, New Year’s Evil.

That one is far more memorable and actually features prominently the “new year’s eve” as part of the plot…. this is Bloody New Year.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #43: Dinosaur Hotel 2 (2022)

To say i didn’t like the first Dinosaur Hotel is being nice, but that won’t change the fact it had some of the worst CG i’ve seen in a while, even for modern cheap low budget dinosaur flicks the effects were plainly pathetic, the premise old and already done better years before.

But since this is a modern low budget dino flick from the UK (it’s another Jagged Edge Production thingie, the same company backing the Winnie The Pooh slasher films, BTW), a sequel was bound to happen… and at least it happened fast, i guess, since only 1 year later, Dinosaur Hotel 2 hit the internet and general VOD services in some regions, and this year they dropped another sequel with Dinosaur Hotel 3. At least they keep the titling consistent and simple.

Curiously, if a movie like this would have been released in the 90s, it would have done the usual “sequel in name only” shuffle we’ve discussed countless times before, but in this case we’re doing actual sequels, for best or worst, even if it doesn’t quite matter, as we’re still doing the same idea, again, with people doing a survival game in a place full of dinosaurs, with the jackpot for the lone survivor being ONE MIL-oh, wait 10 MILLION DOLLARS, gotta outbid Dr. Evil.

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