The Disappeareance of Balan Wonderworld’s Demo [HANDS ON]

To be honest, while i knew of this title since it was announced… i also kinda forgot about it, knew was coming out, but i didn’t particularly care, even if did look like Nights Into Dreams platformer, fairly obvious since this was from Yuji Naka and Naoto Ohshima’s new company, formed specifically to make this new title, the aptly titled Balan Company. It looked a bit cheapish, but whatever, could be fun, though i wondered why we didn’t see reviews already out for it.

Then i saw people in the internet calling it a “dumpster fire”, the press giving it low scores (very low scores), the fact that the demo could accidentally cause seizures due to an unforeseen bug, that Square Enix (who published the title) didn’t actually give out review codes for it, and then this week Square Enix removed the demo with just a couple of days notice before doing it, so people that want to see for themselves if the game it’s as bad as they heard now will have to pay the full 60 bucks. Or pirate it.

Thankfully i downloaded the demo on PS4 (and Switch and PC just for kicks) long before, so i was able to play that… and even from that you can get a grip of many problems pointed out in reviews for the full game.

And i really feel like i should say SOMETHING, because this is kinda tragic.

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EX-ARM anime (2021) [REVIEW] | Make the bad guys cry like….

I knew of Ex-Arm before the series was announced, as in i red the first volume of the manga, and thought that was.. alright.

Then in early november 2020 i discovered there was an anime planned for it, and apparently it was supposed to launch earlier, but got delayed a couple of times, post-poned until its January 2021 release on Crunchyroll, as one of their “Crunchyroll Originals” exclusive projects.

I heard about it on Twitter, alongside many baffled comments on why the hell is a live-action director with no experience in anime directing a 3D CG anime and also tasking a production company that also has no experience in anime… and i immediatly knew i would just “have” to review it, to witness the monstrum and write a report about what could be found in its wretched bowels.

Get confortable, as this autopsy-review will examine all the guts and decomposed organs, and there’s a LOT of those to rifle through with this one!

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[EXPRESSO] Pacific Rim: The Black (Season One) (2021) | Netflix Kaijus

For whatever reason, Netflix perseveres in commissioning 3D CG anime based on popular franchises, despite them often not looking good and anime fans notorious knee-jerk reactions of disgust towards 3D CG anime.

So while we wait for Godzilla Singularity Point (which looks notably better), let’s give Pacific Rim: The Black a shot, because Legendary really wants to make this one a franchise. This specific entry (written by Greg Johnson and Craig Kyle but co-directed by Masayuki Uemoto, Susumu Sugai and Takeshi Iwata) follows a couple of siblings that find a Jaeger called Atlas Destroyer and go on a journey with it, after their parents never came back and kaijus destroyed Australia.

And you know what, an anime series spin-off is a shoe-in for Pacific Rim, but once i saw the PV, i realized why most people won’t bother… and yes, it’s animated by Polygon Pictures, which means the robots and monsters look fairly good, but the animation for the people – sporting nicely drawn character models – also has this stiff, uncanny, robotic feel to it. And this honestly doesn’t look much better than the Blame movie or the Godzilla anime trilogy Polygon Pictures also made for Netflix, while this style of “3D anime” has vastly improved in quality over the last few years.

Shame because the giant mecha battles against monsters look good and are fun, but the humans characters or the plot surrounding them aren’t that interesting, and sometimes their animation is just crap. The script, while unremarkable, tries to add something new to to the Pacific Rim universe, but it’s kinda of half baked attempt as it starts getting better only at the very end of this very short first season. Overall, it’s… alright.

A second season has already been greenlit… but i still wonder for whom exactly.

EX-ARM, the oddly shaped Manos of fate, and the invisible off-screen truck of doom

I didn’t expect to write another one of these posts, because the novelty of the EX-Arm anime being unbelievable crap wore off and i just got accostumed to its foul, robotic and uncanny fare. Oh well, it will avoid me having to note down another batch of odd fuck up, animation errors, bad camera angles and stuff.

Or so i thought.

(Gif taken from Twitter, from a fellow stunned viewer)

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So, that EX-ARM anime wasn’t a practical joke

**And yet you still wanted to make an EX-ARM anime.**

I will have a review of this turd when the series finishes, but this first episode it’s so unbelievably bad it doesn’t matter if the story improves or gets worse as it goes along, with this embarassing animation it’s all for naught. I would like to apologize to the Berserk 2016 anime, this is even worse, it’s unbelievable. But also the logical outcome to have a studio that never did nor understands animation… do anime.

And no, that horrendous screenshot seen above it’s not a one-off, in the first episode alone there are like 3 occasions where a horridly made 3D CG anime character is framed alongside a clearly 2D animated character. To say nothing of the horrible, uncanny way they movie (with the jaw unhinging like a creepy ventriloquist doll), making Polygon Pictures produced anime series look like Redline.

How the hell did these people manage to have this signed up as a Crunchyroll Original i can’t even fathom. The manga isn’t that bad to deserve an adaptation so abysmal.

And yes, the manga also had better animation.

Kemurikusa (2019) [REVIEW] | Leaves Of Tree

After the Kemono Friends anime made a fairly forgotten (and at the time even freshly axed) free-to-play thing become one of the biggest sensations of that year…. Kadokawa fucked the series director over, basically, and in a way of karmic retribution, many resented the second season when it came around, both out of spite for Kadokawa’s behaviour. And because the Kemono Friends gravy train was gone by then.

Regardless, TATSUKI continued to work on other projects (see Keifuku-san and Hentatsu, which i already reviewed), and in 2019 he decided to adapted an older work of his, an original net animation called Kemurikusa (released between 2010 and 2012), into a TV anime series (which so far only streaming on Amazon Video), once again tasking the same animation studio of Kemono Friends (studio Irodori, which he was part of) and the same production company (Yaoyoruzu), culminating into a project that didn’t seem raise much interest online.

People knew the director of Kemono Friends was behind it, definitely, but i guess it wasn’t enough, so the Kemurikusa TV adaptation came out without causing much clamor (outside of some circles) or attracting much attention even from dedicated outlets or anime enthusiasts who knew it existed. At least i got that impression.

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Super Mario 3D All Stars NSWITCH [REVIEW]

I pointed this out in a previous post, and i have to yet again: the fact this was not only released with limited printing for retail copies, but with an expiration date of 6 months even for the digital version (still priced 60 bucks). It’s insane, even more since the collection doesn’t include Super Mario Galaxy 2, i’m pretty sure it would have fit in a Switch cartridge, but for whatever stupid reason is not in the collection. Maybe to be sold as a separate remaster for full price as well, who knows.

Only Nintendo could pull shit like this and get away with it.

Yes, i got a physical copy of it. No, i didn’t pay extra, i just placed my pre-order fast. Fuck scalpers.

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One Piece 3D: Trap Coaster (2011-2012) [REVIEW] | 3D Water Park Pirates

One Piece 3D Trap Coaster 2011-12.png

Director: unknown

Writer: unknown

Unlike the previous One Piece featurettes, shown alongside that year’s feature film of the series, Trap Coaster was – fittingly so- shown in water parks and the like as a limited “theathrical” release (as in i guess it was shown inside small locales repurposed as temporary cinemas, or something like that, i don’t really know) between December 1, 2011, and February 27, 2012.

Of course never re-released in any official capacity anywhere, so it’s no wonder it’s almost unknown even to One Piece fans, but internet exists, so you can find it subbed. Continua a leggere “One Piece 3D: Trap Coaster (2011-2012) [REVIEW] | 3D Water Park Pirates”