There are many One Piece videogames, even on the GBA, most RPGs or fighting games, but there is a notable exception, even weirder than usual since it out came out in North America, and North America only. Yep, despite being developed by Dimps (the Sonic Advance series, Draglade, many Dragon Ball and Shaman King licensed games… and shit like Seven Samurai 20XX), it was never released in Japan or Europe, only in the US as simply “One Piece” (also listed as Shonen Jump’s One Piece for cataloguing needs) in 2005.
As of why i’m not sure, sure, it was based/dependant on the 4kids butchered version of the TV anime series, but the same was true for the first OP: Grand Battle PS2 game and that had an European release… so it basically means most people experienced it via emulator, i first did too, until i did found a cartridge for an “okay” price, but unless you’re a fan of the series and-or a dedicated GBA collector, i wouldn’t bother searching for an used copy, since it’s quite pricey today.
I’m not even gonna suggest waiting for a rerelease because it more than simply “unlikely”, unless it randomly pops up on Switch like that Macross GBA game, or Badnai Manco makes a complete One Piece videogame collection in the future.
Regardless, it’s also odd how this was the only One Piece GBA game that released outside of Japan, maybe due to the licensing as the time, most likely the same legal bullshit that saw the first Unlimited game never released in Europe, while the Unlimited Cruise titles never arrived in the US.
It’s a drought in every way, so let’s go the ol’ content mill to see what garbage TV disaster movie we can fish out from Amazon Prime Video and it’s ever so unreliable availability of old stuff that now is included with the Prime membership, now isn’t available anymore, or is it but if you subscribe to another channel/service for 8 bucks a month, so sod it, let’s see a random pick from my list which is available for “free”, and if nothing else there’s plenty of these disaster movies to chew through on the service. So i’m kinda glad we didn’t land on one of the Asylum one with this dice throw.
Nope, we’re going back to the late 90s, on the verge of the 2000s being a thing and the Y2K scare was being throttled, with all the bullshit it produced, but it was simpler times as you could make disaster movie about “just” tsunami without the need of a hook like crystal meth spiders hiding under the tectonic plates so now we have swarms of drug spiders being spread by the tidal waves.
Predictably, Tidal Wave: No Escape, directed by George Miller (not that one, despite this George Miller also having a history of directing children movies with/about animals) is about tsunami happening out of the blue (pun) in various american coasts, which forces the usual unwilling “scientist in hiding/ritire” to touch grass and try to make sense of the phenomenon, revealing that he did study a method to artificially create tidal waves, so he gets suspected but then a mysterious voice calls them to inform that the killer waves will happen again, and again and again.
Is Poseidon itself treathening mankind? Will the dumbass army men figure out he’s obviously not the protagonist scientist behind this? Will he form a bond that will bloom into romance with the female scientist that initially thought explosions or meteors were behind the tsunamis?
In terms of plot or characters there’s nothing we haven’t seen before, but even if mostly stereotyped (the dickwad head honcho who is convinced the hero is actually the villain because of petty jealousy, also present in the variant of the more fair and impartial but also incredibly dense black officer whom isn’t as lucky as the dickwad boss), the characters are ok, the acting is decent enough, and surprisingly the effects are not too bad looking today.
Sure, they have certainly aged and are obvious by today’s standards, but this one came before widespread use of cheap digital effects, which are maybe used twice for minor things, so they have to make the waves hitting look real the old fashion way, and for a TV movie of the era it does a respectable job, given the limitations and not having much in terms of “cinematic scope” for spectacle. Again, it was indeed what one could expect for this type of production in that decade.
And to my surprise, Tidal Wave: No Escape it’s actually not bad, not bad at all, the balance between drama and the conspiracy plot is actually nice, and direction is strong especially in the first half, sadly after the mid point and the reveal of a character’s true motivations, the narrative kinda turns into a more typical and a bit too old school action-disaster movie stuffed with boring or filler-ish dialogues so the villain can say something before the climax and some dumb conversations can be had, even thought by this point you won’t really care much about and are just waiting for things to finally unfold as you’d expect they would (and they do).
It’s definitely a naive and kinda outdated relic of its time, especially as you can date it just by how the “hacking” and rudimentary database rummagign is done via old DOS computers on the respectively old timey computer screens not brimming with many colors, but honestly that’s kinda cute to see today, and overall the movie manages to be respectable, enjoyable despite its flaws , which surprisingly do not lie in aged special effects, more in a bloated third act and a fairly thin plot, but it doesn’t bore the viewer with excessive and tiresome pseudo science exposition dumps, plus it does its job with some dignity despite the overall result being just above mediocrity, and that alone is more than one could have expected to say of a 1997 TV disaster movie about tidal waves.
As one of that quite enjoyed the first The Meg (believe it or not at the time it had some very split reception from genre fans), i was waiting for its sequel arrive in theathers, pretty giddy about it too, though honestly shark movie fans nowadays pretty much HAVE to make do with anything in terms of theathrical releases.
After all, we are in such an ironic drought that even The Asylum has to commission their mockbusters to the Polonia Bros, so yeah, i’m quite glad we get more “megalomachia” as Jason Statham once again dons the eco-warrior kick ass action hero character whose name i honestly forgot, not that you’re gonna call him that (leave to a side-villain to scream his name when confronting him), and this time he ventures with a new submarine alongside his old and new sealab companions, with the idea to go even further below to where the “megs” prosper, but accidents happen as they also stumble upon an illegal underwater mining operations, and explosions let many of the deep sea creatures reach the surface and start causing the mess, including a giant octopus and what are basically abyss deep “varan-raptors”, frigging dinosaurs.
While the first one was fun, this one is arguably better, with more variety of locations, creatures and set pieces, since we don’t spend half (or all) the movie in the usual high tech underwater lab where the megalodons are kept, but we quickly move to the abyss trench and its peculiar fauna, the mining company installation, even some tropical resort island, and we even get monster vs monster action.
Honestly Meg 2: The Trench has pretty much everything you’d want from one of these dumb ass big budget shark/dinosaur films, very entertaining, with enjoyable characters and abundant over the top action.
From the director of Dracula Untold, a maritime horror movie that’s also technically a Halloween movie too, since it shifts between 2 (well, two and a half, to be correct) main storylines taking place on the titular ship, now sitting as a tourist historical attraction rife with horrific past events, like the massacre that happened on the Queen Mary during Halloween of 1938, where the father of a family of entertainers went on an unmitigated killing spree.
In modern times, the Calder family visit the ship for a business trip, but the young child comes across some of the ghosts that haunt the luxury translantic, and in an attempt to save the lost soul of their boy, the Calders enter the ship again to try and learn of his terrible secrets and centhury old mysteries that are more than “spook tour material”…
I was honestly pleasantly surprised by this one, though this lead to some frustration as the set-up it’s good, it’s great, it’s rife with potential but the execution kinda stumbles, with the direction being uneven and falling back on jumpscares or cliches even though it doesn’t really needs it, having already established a solid atmosphere and having some fairly tense sequences.
The 1938 sections are by far the more interesting, visually intriguing, and while the narration does a solid job in slowly revealing how the massacre went down back then and what it implies for the modern day events… these often aren’t as strong in terms of either story, action or characters, feeling overall kinda uneven, and some questionable choices (like how the “dream scenes” are shown and the direction lacking confidence at times) stop this one to being straight up good.
Still, as it is, The Haunting Of The Queen Mary it’s a decent-and-above supernatural horror thriller.
I eventually had to find out this existed, because words like “sequels” don’t mean anything anymore, even more when we dwelve in the “homegrown/DIY” territory of the shark movies, where one name echoes through the vast oceans, Mark Polonia, and he stands atop of his carboard throne, commanding beasts of papermaciè and plastic (and whatever the budget can afford) to fend off the rare adventurers setting off in the desperate quest for the homegrown crown.
So powerful he is that only he can received the task of doing a sequel of a low budget shark movie he didn’t originally make, as Jurassic Shark was directed and produced by Brett Kelly, but that isn’t even the stranger thing about Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse.
That would be this one standing as the “official” sequel, as Brett Kelly also directed Raiders Of The Lost Shark, which was a surprise kind of sequel to Jurassic Shark, as i discussed when reviewing it.
But this one gets to have the Jurassic Shark name and slap a 2 on the end, for whatever reason, and so it kinda surprising the plot has anything to do with the first, as the oil company from the first movie (whom accidentally released the megalodon) is back and wanting to drill for oil of the coast of Cat Island (not that one), and its up to the workers of the oil rig – that accidentally discover the beast – to try and save what they can from its unfeeling jaws… And its amazing inflatable fin.
I guess fate does exist, because i randomly picked up at a local flea market a DVD copy of “L’Isola Degli Uomini Pesce” (translating to “The Island Of The Fishmen”, literally) for less than 3 bucks, figured i’d review that for a lark, only to find out this movie is actually known among fans of B-movies as “Screamers”, in its edited and reworked version handled by Roger Corman that cuts some footage, inserts a new opening and adds extra gore.
While also using false advertising in marketing with text claimining it’s about “people turned inside out”. This is an utter lie, because it also implies this is a horror film…. yes but it’s also a fantasy adventure flick that also pinches ideas from Island Of Dr. Moreau (and also reminding one of the Corman’s Humanoids From The Deep, for example) and uses horror cliches like a mad scientist creating a humanoid hybrid race of people, but it also has heavy adventure movie elements like the natives and the sunken civilizations and stuff.
So if you have memories on seeing this as “Screamers” on TV or VHS, sorry, we’re talking about the original, untouched italian version of “The Island Of The Fishmen”.
Also, i promise there are no One Piece jokes here, tempting as they were to make.
Can’t get more basic than “Crocodile”, not “killer”, not “mutant”, nor “apocalypse”, just your plain old reptilian creature to not be confused with an alligator.
Which is arguably kind of a lie, since this is an obscure Thai monster movie that was made – in unison – “to ride Jaws’ coat-tail”. I don’t even do this on purpose, there’s that big a chance even killer croc movies somehow can be linked back to it, either due to the decade of their release or the basic plot structure and popularized cliches.
Often it’s both, as “Crocodile” was released just years after Jaws rocked the box office, AND the plot it’s virtually identical… or is it?
Not to be confused with a 1978’s Korean movie also with the international title of “Crocodile”, from which this 1979 Thai film is edited from… and by that i’d say it borrows some stock footage from the 1978 one, i don’t know to what extend, since i couldn’t find a copy of the 1978’s film, because i do believe these are two different – yet almost identical sounding – movies, not one and the same.
Robocroc left me feeling very meh and mildly bored, so Roboshark would have to pick up any pace in order to better. Or worse.
Regardless, it was originally one of the many shark movies making their debut on SyFy during the second annual Sharkenado Week of 2015 on the channel, and like most of you would have already guessed, indeed, it’s not a sequel at all, just shares the concept of something cybernetic getting into contact with predator animals and turning them into robotic-cyborg version of themselves.
But honestly the circumstances of the movie’s release it’s a perfect framing in what climate Roboshark came out, because it was indeed a time where everyone wanted to be in on the joke, ride the meta self-awareness sea train but deliberately doing it WITHOUT a “Don!”, engineering itself to be made fun of, to have people online live-tweet the shit out of it, to make you look at the freak, hoping that word of mouth and horrible reviews would make for unorthodox promotional material, because making that view counter go up is the only reason to make the thing in the first place.
Ah, yes, the final, final adventure of old film legend Indiana Jones. For real this time.
We all know nothing will stop the studios potentially doing the “Peter Cushing digital necromancy” when Harrison Ford eventually will leave this mortal coil, but, as for John Wick 4, i’m reviewing this under the assumption is gonna remain true, even more since director James Mangold (Logan) makes it manifest this is the final bout of adventure for a man that’s really too old for this shit.
Enough that Jones witnesses his history students far more excited since the moon landing just happened, but the very same day he’s approached by the daughter of an old friend, Helena, then attacked by a group of nazis that are also interested in one half of the Antikytera, a misterious artifact built by Archimedes that supposedly would grant control over time itself, and a lot of the usual Indiana Jones adventures happen with the group scurring all over the globe.
It’s definitely an Indiana Jones movie through and through, the new characters are quite likeable, the nazis are always the perfect villain for a movie like this, there’s some logic to the meta-textual swinging back to the past that fuels what is another nostalgic cinematic operation, and the director manages to capture the essence of the old movies fairly well, though the script ultimately lacks that “oomph” that would put it above a decent but expected rethread of familiar material.
And one wonders why the hell an Indiana Jones movie should be 2 hours and ½, that alone almost had me rate lower this one, but Harrison Ford alone still makes it worth it, and for a movie that’s intended as a send-off for the character, it’s a better one than Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.
I’ll be honest: since the teaser trailer i had very low expectations for Elemental, and frankly the marketing didn’t make it any better, as it either led you to believe that this is Zootropolis again, but with the themes of racial prejudice and coexistence made even more ouvert by just making the elements people. And it’s also a simplistic. gimmicky variation on Romeo and Juliet.
And while there is some truth to those assumptions…. to be honest, this is far from the worse or insipid we’ve seen from Pixar lately.
For example, it’s mostly a story about first generation immigrants (Korean immigrants, as it’s a personal story for the director himself), a couple of “fire people” moving to Element City, and her daughter, Ember, divided between inheriting the store of her parents, who worked themselves to the bone, and following her passion and potential career, with the disruptive force igniting all this being a water guy, Dave, a safety inspector whom accidentally enters the shop, finds and reports the many safety violations, but then wants to help Ember avoid the city shutting down the store, and eventually they fall in love as they get to know each other.
It’s fun, quite pleasing, the romance it’s not original but it’s cute enough, Elemental it’s a decent film overall, but it’s also indicative of the troubled state of Pixar, as they exhaust their formula to the point the criticisms stopped being hyperboles and became truths, the whole concept is overly simple to the point it hurts its own worldbuilding and almost completely undermines its own themes, the premise is Zootropolis but the racism allegory makes even less sense in context, and while the character are fun and the animation is impressive as expected… we have seen this done better countless times before.
