[EXPRESSO] Thrash (2026) | Hurricane Sharks

A new shark movie just released on Netflix by Tommy Wirkola?

You got my attention, as i do like Wirkola as a director, but his output is often inconsistent, and this is far less Dead Snow or The Trip and more akin to his notably mediocre stuff like Seven Sisters.

The plot is basically like a more realistic take on Sharkenado via Alexandre Aja’s Crawl, as in, a level 5 hurricane is approaching a coastal town and the subsequent flooding brings in ravenous sharks, attracted by a meat truck splitting in half and basically inviting them to a feeding frenzy, the menù being a gaggle of unlucky people stuck in the flooded town.

Not a bad premise, not original, but it can work, and… it mostly does.

As in, it’s not good, but to be clear it’s just okay, it’s fine, it gets things going fast, its barely 90 minutes(ish) long, and while i do like that Wirkola films have some humour to them regardless, in this case the tone is undecisively split between being serious and jokey, with neither side working too well, even with some good actors like Djmon Hounsou we have characters that aren’t interesting nor fleshed out.

It’s a movie stuck between the desire to be a full on B-movie and wanting to be a serious shark film that never resolve its own tonal dilemma, plus even the shark effects are kinda lacking.

It has some standout moments but for every step towards being decent there’s something else dragging it back down to serviceable mediocrity, so i guess it’s for the better that it was once meant for theathers but eventually released on Netflix, since at least i didn’t have to fork out extra bucks for a mediocre, watchable but forgettable shark film such as this.

[EXPRESSO] Ready Or Not 2: Here They Come (2026) | Competitive Shemhamforash-ing

The first Ready Or Not was a refreshing modern twist on the classic formula first pioneered by The Most Dangerous Game, as in, fiv-i mean seven years ago the modern “eat the rich” subgenre of horror wasn’t yet saturated to exhaustion, and of crap like HIM (not the band) or Blink Twice.

So making a sequel isn’t necessarily a good idea, especially since the approach is quite simple, as it double downs with more of everything, taking place immediatly after the ending of the first one, with Grace’s survival setting in motion a bigger ritual that involves the other elite families reunited to take part in a manhunt to obtain a seal of ultimate power, again against Grace, and her estranged sister that gets forcedly roped into this satanic mess.

I mean, to make my point, this released the same month as They Will Kill You, which is also an action horror comedy about a devil worshipping cult made of powerful rich assholes and the protagonist is in this mess because of her sister, though the context isn’t the same, the style is far more grindhouse, even the usage of the supernatural element is for slightly different purposes.

Even so, the question is inevitable, and i would say this is the better film, as the approach of more of the same actually works for this sequel, there’s simply more to the plot, to the characters, bigger stakes, a proper sense of escalation, less repetition and a better handling of its themes (even as they have become overly familiary by now) making for a fun and funny action horror romp.

Comparisons asides (i’d say just watch them both if you can), it’s a good sequel and i gotta admit, it’s still funny to see people explode like rubberbanded human watermelons.

The Post-Easter Food Coma Rehab Post

So, if you survive Easter, congrats, and to better digest the lamb and chocolate induced coma, i’ll soapbox about some things about upcoming reviews and the blog as a whole.

First, i would like to spend some time and then review in EXPRESSO form Arknights Endfield, i have it installed on PS5 but i wasn’t sure, despite me quite liking the original Arknights… as long as i could since i’m a F2P player that doesn’t spend money in microtransactions, period, so eventually i reach the “bottleneck” where they expect you to pay to actually get some progress done before you expire, i get bored and move on.

Still, i have been curious about it, so we’ll see.

Despite earlier planning to do Melee May in a redux fashion, it will happen, though i compromised with a rewrite.

This as i planned to slow down output in order to do some maintenance, organize the reviews proper in categories, that stuff, which i still plan to do during the usual mid-August hiatus, but i would like to do some during May, so if there are less reviews than usual, that will be the reason.

As you might have notices since we’re almost at the two digits mark, i’m committed to keep Platformation Time Again going and hopefully be somewhat costant of a featured rubric, and eventually i will expand the rubric with a specific tier/type about collections, since these are becoming more and more common, as the industry and publishers are scraping up anything that might have nostalgia value to it, heck, they even did remaster-port the Zool games.

On a closing note, One Piece Month will still happen but most likely in a redux fashion, due to how some other returning rubrics will happen, as i will explain later down the line.

[EXPRESSO] The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) | Starbound and Bible Black

While i (mostly) stand by my review of the first Super Mario animated film by Illumination… i do wanna stress out i didn’t mean it was great (i even said “considering it’s from Illumination”), but i found it to be pretty fun regardless even if it was trying to basically be a big nostalgia trip and advertisment vehicle.

If nothing else, the Super Mario Galaxy Movie is a follow up that clearly knows it doesn’t have to put any effort in terms of plot, as the first movie did set up the characters and the world, so this one instead quadruples down on nostalgic Nintendo references to any of their Mario or non-Mario related franchise, including a certain starbound, Thunderbirds inspired woodland creature whose presence leaked days before release.

To be fair, the plot isn’t really that thinner than the previous movie, and adapting Galaxy’s story – with a splash of Sunshine’s via Bowser Jr. – isn’t a bad choice, but since they did establish the world in the first film, they decided to use this as an excuse to pump in even more characters and references instead of actually giving anything (like the romantic subplot) some space to breathe, beside the main focus, as in, Bowser Jr. launching a scheme to free his dad via Rosalina’s powers.

As a result it’s even more than the first movie an ensemble of things just happening, as the screenwriters just throw scenes and characters, all Mario (and non-Mario) things all into the pot, regardless… which the previous film did, but not to this degree, and the short runtime futhers exacerbates the matter.

I will admit it’s still very well animated, very cute, and the actions scenes (especially the various fights) are well done, making for a decent animated kids film. It’s okay.

[EXPRESSO] They Will Kill You (2026) | Viscerae Satanae

There’s something to say about modern efficiently descriptive titles, as indeed you can get more direct of a title for a horror film than “They Will Kill You”, and it’s indeed pretty on the money, as the plot sees a young woman get recruit as a cleaning lady for the renowed high class hotel Virgil, but soon discover she was actually chosen as a offering to Satan himself, as the Virgil is basically a temple dedicated to him and his (mostly rich assholes) followers.

Little do these cultists know that their chosen sacrifice has undergone a Shaman King styled training arc while in prison, so she’s not stopping at anything on her quest for familiar revenge, especially now that she has been released, and has packed enough tools to do the deed, even if the Virgil has more supernatural shit going on than anyone could ever imagine.

It’s a action horror comedy romp of grindhouse style and proportions,with lots of graphic, deliberately over the top violence and lots of splattering of organs and blood all over the place, very reminescent of Tarantino’s style (down to the breaking down in chapters for twists and character backstories, plus some feet licking early on) and his emulation of the old grindhouse exploitation films, but the supernatural angle helps this stand out, basically making this a sort of revenge battle royale against satanic cultists that are almost as deadly as the ones in Blood.

It’s really fun, and even though the structure might feel a little repetitive, the short runtime helps the action flow fast & hard, plus even if you more or less figured out where it’s gonna go, there’s still plenty of unexpected and weird, over the top but also incredibly entertaining shit to keep the splatterworks and fun factor very high.

Final Verdict: Expresso

[EXPRESSO] The Last Viking (2025) | Brother Pepper

One thing i didn’t quite expected from cinema in the future is to spawn a “Beatles-borne/like” kind of subgenre, and i’m not even talking about the 4 upcoming films about the band by Sam Mendes, or Across The Universe. i’m talking about having the Beatles be the instrumental catalysts of unrelated films, for example Danny Boyle’s 2019 film, Yesterday, where a mediocre singer found himself isekai’d into a world where the Beatles never existed, while he does remember their songs.

Again, it’s a Doofenschirmz situation, it is weird it happened at least twice, this time for the sake of crime comedy, the Norwegian-Danish The Last Viking.

A criminal, Anker, after having paid his 15 years sentence for a bank heist, he comes home, planning to retrieve the loot as he had his autistic brother Mandred hide the money underground in a place they knew… problem is Manfred now believes himself to be John Lennon (among other things), so Anker has to deal with this and try to play along, travelling together to some childhood places of theirs in order to eventually make him remember where he hid the money.

Which might mean having to get the “Beatles” back together.

Obviously this leads Anker to confront his rooted family traumas and his difficult relationship with his brother Manfred, and the movie to tackle the themes of mental health, happiness, perception,, but also – and especially – acceptance of one self, finding solace in our own “madness” in face of a delusional reach for complete, unrealistic “real sanity” , through a lot of surreal bizarre characters, grotesque situations, and plenty of dark comedy.

And i do mean dark comedy, it’s funny and hearthwarming in the end, but even for a Nordic black comedy it can get so bleak to be almost depressing.

[EXPRESSO] Don Chisciotte (2026) | Romance Dusk

A new, Italian adaptation of the famous Don Quixote by Cervantes, also based off an old theathre adaptation of the same classic story by an often unsung master of italian cinema and theathre (among others thing, he co-wrote Bycicle Thieves) Gerardo Guerrieri.

While i’m not familiar with Guerrieri treatment-version of the story, i think this aspect it’s worth noting because some there’s a theathrical flair and approach to some scenes, for better or worse, not that i think this is a proper, major flaw.

That said, this is a straightforward adaptation of the classic novel, taking place in its proper time period and locations, but aside the beginning and end framing this as Cervantes himself envisioning his book while being treated at a hospital after partecipating in the Battle Of Lepanto (and a couple of events are cut to avoid the film go over the 2 hours runtime) it is indeed Don Quixote, and ironically the fact it’s not a modernized take gives it more impactful.

Sure, while i did like Gilliam’s take on the tale (for example), i also understand that in a way there’s no need to modernize the story, as it’s themes do keep on resonating as strong as they do today, and reconfirm this as a modern classic not just because they tell you it is and make you read it in school.

I won’t lie, at times its committment to being faithful makes it a bit too didactic, some of the acting isn’t amazing, but the main performances of Alessio Boni (Don Quixote) and Fiorenzo Mattu (Sancho) are great, photography is quite good, and the committment to have the world feel extra concrete extends to avoid any digital effects, as in, they actually built real windmills and windmill props, which is extra laudable especially now.

[EXPRESSO] Netflix’s One Piece (Season 2) (2026) | Grand Line Rules

The live action adventures of the Straw Hats continue in this second season (also made up of 8 long episodes), that covers from the Logue/Rogue Town Arc up to the conclusion of the Drum Island story arc, so it means Little Garden and Whispey Peak are in it, while seeding and teasing the main Alabasta arc that is likely gonna be the focus of Season 3.

Despite the variations to the plot with the Marine Festival in Rogue Town (among other things i will not spoil), you can rest assured Smoker’s pants still hunger for ice cream.

What can i say, it’s a fuckin miracle how not only the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece is good, it’s great, it’s way better than it had any logical sense being, especially given Netflix track record and the rightfully frowned idea of turning animated series into live action.

Looking at you again, Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop.

Besides working as an incredible gateway for people to actually get invested in the manga and One Piece as a whole, offering something new for the many people already more than familiar with the story…. to be honest this is even better than season 1, and i’m not just talking about how the budget for this season clearly was a lot bigger than for the previous one,

the casting keeps getting even better, i’m honestly impressed, and they do commit, no matter how extra silly some already ridiculous designs were, we’re going all in, and it’s beautiful, perfectly in tone with its source material, throwing various little references on the sly for long time fans to get, made “just” because the people making the show actually love One Piece for what it is, without having to feel “shame” for it because someone told them they should.

[EXPRESSO] Project Hail Mary (2026) | Boldore Dash

Based on the novel of the same name by Andy Weir (also author of The Martian, adapted by Ridley Scott back in 2015), Project Hail Mary is promoted once again as the kind of “sci film you’ve never seen before”, and i feel that might harbour some disappointment.

Not because the film is bad, mind you, but because – as already pointed out by other critics – this IS something we have seen before, or more correctly, an ensemble of sci-fi ideas we have seen before, to the point one could almost envision it as a more happy, family friendly take on Villeneuve’s Arrival, in a way.

The plot follows a math scientist, Grace, that wakes up in a spaceship with amnesia, only to find himself the only person left alive, but slowly remembers why he’s there, sent as part of “Project Hail Mary”, an expedition to study why only a single star in the galaxy, Tau Ceti, isn’t being “consumed” despite being in range of the infrared “Petrova line” connecting the Sun to Venus, acting as a vector for organisms known as “Astrophage”, which are slowly dimming the Sun and will eventually make Earth’s temperature drop by a catastrophical degree.

While working on a solution, Grace finds an unexpected visitor and forms a friendship that will help in his quest to avoid Earth freezing to death….

Dispelling the “it’s really original never seen before” marketing babble is more of a necessary observation than a diss, because it’s a really well done mix of already seen sci fi ideas, led by a notable performance by Ryan Gosling in a movie that’s ultimately a wholesome, family friendly ordeal, which is quite nice as the movie does manage to properly balance out the more cerebral aspects with the emotional and comedy-laden moments.

[EXPRESSO] Hoppers (2026) | Mindjacking In Nature

While i skip most of Pixar’s (and Disney’s for that matter) output nowadays, i decided to give Jumpers a try even if the premise didn’t quite excite me.

The premise sees Mable, a young girl that loves animals and grew attached to a pond her grandma used to take her and relax with the sound of nature, trying to fight a local politician that is banking its campaign on expanding the highway by constructing over that very pond.

Much to Mable’s dismay, he can because the pond is actually devoid of animal life, but she finds out bringing in a beaver will make the other animals follow suite, and trying to do so, she discovers a secret university project where they use advanced robot animals and project their mind into these to infiltrate and monitor the fauna better.

She then forcefully “mind jacks” into the robot beaver using the device in an effort to make the animals swarm the pond and so demonstrate they can’t actually build over that habitat….

Gotta say, maybe Pixar isn’t completely washed up, because Jumpers is actually quite good.

First, it doesn’t take nowhere as long as expected for Mable to get into the “not Avatar” device and start journeying into the animal’s world, there is enough time spent to characterize Mable herself as a likeable young activist moved by actual love and respect for the animals, maybe a bit too much to understand some consequences, but well meaning, plus the animal world itself and its rules are actually more interesting than one would expect, harboring some genuinely surprising turns.

It’s an ecological fable that’s actually is more effective because it isn’t preachy, there are some fun designs and very cute animation quirks like the switching from realistic and “talking animals” vision of the events.

Final Verdict: Expresso