“We only used AI as reference”

Slippery slope arguments are ironically slippery slopes in themselves, but this clearly isn’t the case, as this isn’t the first time we have seen this disclaimer, but personally what set me off was it coming immediatly after the announcement of a new Crazy Taxi game, Crazy Taxi World Tour, rumored for months but now finally proper announced and arriving on current gen consoles and PC next year.

This should be a time of excitement as the summer reveals for upcoming titles are shown…. yet it’s all a parade of poisoned chalices, as the newly shown/announced Tomb Raider game, also has a similar, and it’s even worse as it’s a remake to boot.

I don’t blame the staffers, as this is 100 % a decision imposed by the corpo as they bought on this bubble that’s bound to burst even sooner than expected (and it should), forced upon the people that actually do the job instead of being handed golden parachutes.

Again, this new tech so good it has be imposed and made mandatory at every level to try and justify the use, again, because investors emptied gajillions on the new tech fad/buzzword that makes them sound “in touch”, fuck any expenses or impact it has on the world, the business doesn’t care, as abundantly shown, and nor do the people actually responsable for it.

I don’t like having to write this, i really do not, i’ve been wanting a new Crazy Taxi in forever, the little gameplay footage from the trailer does look good…..but not like this.

It’s shitty when the Let It Die sequel of sorts did, and i swore off on that, i’ve done the same with the new Layton (and other stuff of theirs) due to new Level 5 CEO being so adamant and obviously fellating in words and actions this new fad, it’s even worse (if a lot more expected) when big companies do this.

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[EXPRESSO] The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act (2026) | I Have No Pomni And I Must Scream

Having quite enjoyed the webseries in question, i was surprised to see Gooseworx have a premierè release in theathers of the final episode, ahead of its regular release on Youtube on the 19^th of June, and somehow we got a release here in Italy too. Impressive.

That said, i will try to keep this review as spoiler free as possible, even though i’ve got no idea why would you be reading the review of a series final episode you didn’t care or heard about, but just in case i will explain the overall premise.

The Amazing Digital Circus is about a series of people forcibly trust into a virtual reality program of the same name, unaware of who they were before and trust into the digital flesh of cartoony avatars, with no prospect of exit in sight and being commanded-tended to by an IA ringmaster, Caine, whom sends this mismatched gaggle of amnesiacs “prisoners” on oddball adventures.

It’s “very” reminescent of the classic horror short story I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (mostly remember nowadays thanks to the 1995 videogame adaptation by Cyberdreams), but mostly played more for comedy, alongside mystery (and existential dread for good measure), as the protagonist, a jester girl dubbed Pomni tries to adapt and see if there’s anyway out of the “circus”..

FYI, this is actually a recut that includes Episode 8. a recap and the hour long Episode 9 (the final one indeed).

Again, keeping it spoiler free…. i did quite like the ending, it does strike a good balance between being “positive” AND actually a bit more depressing than it already seemed when you stop to think about it.

Regardless if you agree or not, don’t fuckin harass the creators, VAs or the company over this, you smegmatic little monsters.

[EXPRESSO] Milky Subway: The Galactic Limited Express Subway – The Movie (2026) | Cyborg Deliquents Of Gold

It warms my heart to see how the author of the astondishingly excellent 2022 ONA Milky Highway has now a movie streaming on Netflix, Milky Subway: The Galactic Express Gateway… which is actually a film recut-compilation, i somehow missed (or fogot) that Yohei Kamiyama made a sequel series, Milky Subway, that aired on Youtube and television.

I really don’t know how i could have missed that, but i’m making amends now by reviewing this recut that compiles the 12 short episodes into a 47 minute film, that also introduces a couple new side characters (at least so sayeth the articles and the Wikipedia page).

The premises follow Makina and Chiharu, arrested for the events of Milky Highway, and now joined by four other young delinquents, all sentenced to do community service by cleaning an old rundown space express train, but when they all set foot on the vehicle, it goes off by itself, so the group has to collaborate in order to find a way to stop the train, and along the way deal with other weird malfunctions….

It’s a compact story that actually has enough going on, and it uses the time to develop not only the returning duo from Milky Highway, but also the new deliquent youths, making for some really good charaterization and dynamics, also due to the dialogue going for a more realistic style than most anime.

THAT aside, the retro scifi aesthetic is perfect, the character designs are amazing, animation is beyond impressive, it’s unbelievable how this is a self produced work (manned by a VERY young author, too) that in less than a hour puts stuff from experienced studios to shame.

I really wanna see more of these characters, of this world, so give the series and this compilation film some love, will ya?

[EXPRESSO] Don Chisciotte (2026) | Romance Dusk

A new, Italian adaptation of the famous Don Quixote by Cervantes, also based off an old theathre adaptation of the same classic story by an often unsung master of italian cinema and theathre (among others thing, he co-wrote Bycicle Thieves) Gerardo Guerrieri.

While i’m not familiar with Guerrieri treatment-version of the story, i think this aspect it’s worth noting because some there’s a theathrical flair and approach to some scenes, for better or worse, not that i think this is a proper, major flaw.

That said, this is a straightforward adaptation of the classic novel, taking place in its proper time period and locations, but aside the beginning and end framing this as Cervantes himself envisioning his book while being treated at a hospital after partecipating in the Battle Of Lepanto (and a couple of events are cut to avoid the film go over the 2 hours runtime) it is indeed Don Quixote, and ironically the fact it’s not a modernized take gives it more impactful.

Sure, while i did like Gilliam’s take on the tale (for example), i also understand that in a way there’s no need to modernize the story, as it’s themes do keep on resonating as strong as they do today, and reconfirm this as a modern classic not just because they tell you it is and make you read it in school.

I won’t lie, at times its committment to being faithful makes it a bit too didactic, some of the acting isn’t amazing, but the main performances of Alessio Boni (Don Quixote) and Fiorenzo Mattu (Sancho) are great, photography is quite good, and the committment to have the world feel extra concrete extends to avoid any digital effects, as in, they actually built real windmills and windmill props, which is extra laudable especially now.

[EXPRESSO] The Bride! (2026) | Mary Shelley’s Frankenmess

This was a film i did look forward to see, obviously, being a peculiar take on Bride Of Frankenstein, with the trailers showing off The Creature (the Frankenstein monster) and The Bride in a Bonny & Clyde, Syd & Nancy style dynamic as they travel a 30’s America of gangsters and trenched detectives.

The premise sees the ghost/spirit of Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein herself, meta narrate about her “sequel” about the “Bride” of Frankenstein, in this case the corpse of a prostitute working undercover to gather info about a particularly violent mob boss, which is dug up after the Creature travels to America and seeks the help of Dr. Ephronious to make him a companion in order to soothe his unique loneliness.

The experiment is successful and so the Bride is borne, but it becomes difficult for the two monsters to go unnoticed, not only due to the police and the mob befuddled by a presumed dead woman showing up on the newspapers’ headlines, but also because Mary Shelley herself occasionally possesses the Bride’s body…..

the idea of a feminist take on Bride Of Frankenstein makes perfect sense, i do believe so, even if discordant by design, as it’s not only a horror-crime duet of deranged protagonists complementing each other’s delirium, but it’s also a gothic romance that often dips into comedy and even musical sequence that seems to tribute-spoof Frankenstein Junior.

It’s ambitious and – again- by design tries to combine together pieces that don’t really naturally fit, which is indeed “very Frankenstein”, but the execution honestly feels like a really hot mess of intentions, even more stitched together and messier than intended, downright clunky.

I do respect its ambition, even if the final result is indeed quite flawed, but also proper interesting and never quite boring.

Eventually comes The Bride, more Laid Back Camp, and some very late Pokemon opinions

Soap box time, i guess, since it’s Sunday.

I really wanted to have an EXPRESSO review for The Bride! far earlier, but schedule conflicts got in the way and so – unless cinema schedules fuck me over by removing it all together – i will be able to see & review the film only next week, which is a bummer but you know, shit happens.

On more favourable – to me – news, we finally got a proper announcement for Season 4 of Yuru Camp/Laid Back Camp anime series, which will release next year, with another studio change, this time handled not by Eight Bit (the animation studio that took over C-Station for Season 3) but by Furyu Pictures, the anime production branch of the company mostly known for their figures and now also videogames.

Speaking of which, the previously announced proper Yuru Camp “camping cooking action game” by enish, the developer of the gacha mobile title, All In One, has a date and is launching in a matter of days on PC (though via Steam as a japanese language only affair for the moment) and later will hit Switch and mobile, which sounds odd since this isn’t a F2P gacha game like All In One, it isn’t, it’s an actual game you pay for once (DLC aside).

So expect a review of some sort when they either update it with english language support or it launches on Switch.

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Snakes On A Plane (2006) [REVIEW] | Legal Drinking Age Snakes

I thought of reviewing Park-chan Wook’s So I’m A Cyborg But That’s Ok, since it February and we recently got his latest film, No Other Choice.

But then an Arrow Video newsletter made me aware of them doing a Blu Ray/4K UHD release of Snakes On A Plane, which i promptly preordered.

I mean, we already did Tromeo & Juliet for the Valentine’s Day review, and i’m not sure we’re gonna bring back “Snake Month” this summer, might as well celebrate good ol’ Snakes On A Plane‘s 20^th anniversary.

Yep, there’s no beating the “getting old” allegations, so strap that girdle up, take your pills, we’re going back to the very primordial soup, when Sharkenado wasn’t even a thought in the Asylum deseased pipeline of bullshit we’ll call a “mind”.

Oh, mind you, the Asylum did exist and in many ways proper started realizing who they really were due to Snakes On Plane, their had their proper epiphany in no small part thanks to this film, but we’ll discuss that when reviewing Snakes On A Train, sooner or later that review had to happen.

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[EXPRESSO] Rental Family (2025) | Gacha Gaijin

Brendan Frasier is back in Hikari’s second feature lenght (the first being 37 Seconds), Rental Family, playing an american actor, Phillip Vandarplough, that has been living in Japan for a lot but now, despite some of his old commercials being very successful, struggles to find work and so takes on menial side roles in various shows and auditions for basically everything.

One day he finds himself hitched to play a role… at a funeral.

Where even the dead isn’t actually dead, just there in classic japanese funeral clothes, happy as a clam.

Turns out he accepted a bit part for an agency called Rental Family, that basically offers actors to impersonate a family member or friend by request, “renting” them for occasional performances, which of course sounds strange to Philipp, but has become a market niche in Japan due to various cultural reasons, including stigmatization of mental illness, meaning instead of going to teraphy, sometimes someone will hire you to be their granpa or soothe their shut-in life by calling you over as a friend to play videogames, among other things.

The company boss, Shinji, invites him on board, as they need a “gaijin” for the catalogue, and Philipp, more out of desperation than curiosity, decides to join them. After an almost botched first job, he gets the hang of it, but when he has to play the father of a japanese-american girl, Mia, for 3 weeks so she can get in a good school, Philipp does find himself more emotionally involved than the “farce” requires…

It’s a canned expression to say “the feel good film of”, but Rental Family does perfectly succeed in that, being inspiring, funny, emotional, and also properly tackle a modern, real problem, the evergrowing societal “loneliness epidemic”, without going for an unrealistic, overly positive ending.

[EXPRESSO] Scarlet (2025) | “Why Don’t You Ramlet?”

After debutting at 2025’s Venice Film Festival, Hosoda’s latest film, Scarlet, is releasing in theathers worlwide.

And to be honest i was ready to be disappointed, but you know, even Belle with its flaws was quite interesting, but Scarlet instead surpassed my expectations for the worse, and it pains me to say that it is, without a doubt, the worse Hosoda film ever, however you slice it.

The premise is not necessarily bad, at all, basically doing a genderbend version of Hamlet, but when the heroine Scarlet, fails to avenge her father’s death at the hands of her evil uncle Claudius, she finds herself in a limbo where souls gather after death, regardless of era or nation.

There is she informed by a strange shaman woman that her uncle Claudius is here too, and is amassing an army to stop others going to the “Infinite Lands” beyond the mountains, so she continues her quest for vengeance, helped by Hijiri, a pacifist paramedic from modern day Japan.

Scarlet it is the worse written Hosoda film ever, with a story that even by its own fantasy sci fi logic makes little sense, a super basic Hamlet deconstruction that has nothing to say and doesn’t proper explore anything, just throws in the air the usual waffling about the “futility of vengeance” and “the necessity of violence”, features incredibly dull, uninteresting characters and ends with one of the stupidest “optimistic” endings i’ve ever seen.

To make matters worse, it’s not even pretty, starting off strong with good 2D animation in the prologue but then it’s a constantly inconsistent flip-flopping between 2D and 3D CG animation, all looking astoningly cheap for a feature film by Hosoda’s Studio Chizu, with musical scenes meant to wow audiences being downright laughable and featuring generic, unispired music to boot.

I.K.U. (2000) [REVIEW] | LGBT Robosexual Runner

While i most likely won’t be reviewing the new Wuthering Heights film adaptation, to prove my platonical love for you, the audience, i will review this film i found on DVD in a flea market, and no, it wasn’t on the porn section.

I know i had to get it, it was like, 5 bucks at max, and with a title that screams “CINEMA” as IKU gets a IGN certified “10 out of 10” just for reference-pun combo that is the subtitle “I, Robosex” added in the Italian DVD release.

Sometimes i get to find import DVD copies of weird state sponsored video art when i go thrifting, sometimes i pick up fully localized and officially distributed “technically not porn” like this.

So, the hell is this?

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