Categoria: EXPRESSO

[EXPRESSO] Dangerous Animals (2025) | Three On A Sharkhook

New shark movie with a big budget, a widespread cinematic release and it’s not a Jason Staham trashfest romp, another gonzo shark movie about an Esper Shark (TM) or something done with lunch money-allowance budget?

What has the gone world to?

Apparantly something good and conceptually simple, i guess that’s why it took so long for someone to make a good shark movie that also plays the “Uno reverse” card on the concept without overcomplicating it or being outlandish.

Meaning that Dangerous Animals is about a serial killer that hides his murderous calling by posing as a shark cage experience activity for tourist in Australia (which fittingly all good modern shark movies seem to hail from), killing people and filming as he feeds them to the sharks.

His next victim is a surfer girl, Zephyr, living a nomadic sort of lifestyle, whom finds herself kidnapped by the killer in preparation for his macabre rituals…

it’s so simple that a shark movie like this hasn’t been made before, but on the flipside it’s actually pretty good, thanks to a good budget, very solid acting and good characters, with a resilient leading lady/final girl and a good psychotic villain that does have a humourous side that actually makes him more believable as he use it alongside some charm to better camouflage his true self, without going overboard and making him feel cartoony or excessive.

It’s also pretty gory without going into full splatter territory, going for a more realistic tone to the chases and attempts of his victims to escape his grasp, making for a very tense film that is less predictable than one would expect, yet very satisfying even when it hits the expected notes, one also basically devoid of filler, exactly as long as it needs.

Pretty good.

[EXPRESSO] Locked (2025) | Small Theft Auto

Locked has a simple, yet fairly intriguing hook: a small time thief desperate for cash one day finds a strangely unlocked high-tech smartcar (like a Tesla that doesn’t randomly burst into fire) to loot it, but once in he then realizes he’s locked into the vehicle, and gets contacted by the owner, whom remotely controls everything in the car, making it act as a trap for whoever tried to steal it.

The guy then has to survive locked inside, while the unseen owner keeps torturing him, playing mind games and keeping the complex trap scenario of his own design going…

Sadly for Locked, this is the kind of script with a decent-good idea/concept…. but ultimately doesn’t really know what to do with it outside of slightly escalating the tortures, and boiling the explanation for this cruel trap to basically the same “eat the rich” surface level class warfare bit A24 movies have done to death recently, just done in a more utilitarian and even more shallow fashion, with the car owner (Anthony Hopkins) also written as being completely callous, a straight up empathy-free psycho, for better or worse.

It’s also not tense enough to make you question for real if escape is even possible to begin with, which is an issue (as is the unsatisfying ending) but i will say it’s not boring, even though it’s a film carried entirely by Bill Skarksgard’s performance as the low tier criminal that is forced by circumstance to thieve and such in order to care for his family, and if Hopkins kinda phones it in (literally for most of the film), he seems to be having fun with such a stock Jigsaw wannabe, which does help.

Overall, Locked feels middling, not bad but makes one wonder for the movie that could have been.

P.S.: This also is another foreign remake of a 2019 Argentinian movie called 4X4 (which has now has been remade thrice), itself having a similar premise to a 1998 direct-to-video film named Captured.

[EXPRESSO] War Of The Worlds (2025) | Redditors VS Aliens

Yep, we doing this one.

The plot sees a Homeland Security officer, Will Radford (Ice Cube) at work being “benign Big Brother” for the government (while also monitoring his family, to their dismay), when a meteorite shower reveals to be a worlwide attack by alien machines, forcing Will to do what he can to save his family and help fight back the invaders however he can.

On paper it’s not necessarily a bad idea to make a modern War of The World remake focusing on the aliens taking over data infrastructures in the surveillance state internet reliant reality where everyone’s on their phones, playing up the “government conspiracy” angle… and proposing it as a screenlife thing, like a sci-fi Unfriended.

Yeah, that already sets off more bells than a Blue Oyster Cult comment section, and makes it abundantly obvious this was shot during the 2020 Covid pandemic, with Amazon sitting on it for 5 years before they remembered, “bothered” to do post-production and made it available on their streaming service.

They knew they were sitting on a turd, one so riddled with brazens self-promotion it’s comical (the climax of the movie involves an Amazon drone helping save the day), not that the movie actually decides if it’s against or pro “Big Tech”, and while Ice Cube’s acting is bad, it’s not like he has much to work with, the entire thing is so fuckin stupid and becomes even stupider, and a cinically rushed shitshow with plenty of IA generated news segments (and stock footage that looks bad enough to be IA generated slop too), on top of very shitty special effects.

And yet it’s so fiercely bad it does actually become one of the rare modern “so bad it’s good” movies, it has that kind of entertaiment quality to it.

[EXPRESSO] Warfare (2025) | Iraq To The Past

So, is this yet another chapter for the “america gonna invade your country and 20 years later make a movie how sad it made their soldiers” folder of war movies?

I mean, it does depict a real life episode taking place in November 2006 in Iraq, based on testimonies from the people that were in those platoons of NAVY Seals, so it’s almost 20 years after the facts…. but it ain’t that. Even if it is?

After Civil War Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza are back, for Warfare, which sets off to realistically portray the events that happened to a NAVY Seals squad on a very minor mission in Iraq, which evolves into them taking over a civilian house and being bottled up in there as they wait for evacuation/rescue, while trying to defend the position, all based on the retelling of the actual soldiers that were involved.

And it does commit to the realistical, almost documentary style. intense approach, to the point it doesn’t try to actually have a standard plot structure, character development or plot points for that matter, and doesn’t skirt away from the fact there’s a lot of routine processes, waiting around for protocols, alongside opaque military lingo that’s not meant to be understood, uncaring if it may come off as “boring” to general audiences because the point is to tell tit – as possible as it could ever be – “as it was”.

It’s also very unflattering of the military, but i feel it’s not exactly anti-war (as anti-war as a war movie can actually be), it’s more of a by-product of the realistical approach (especially given some ending credits stuff), and there are still some questionable choices, but i can’t deny that it’s quite gripping and at 95 minutes simply doesn’t overstay its welcome.

[EXPRESSO] Atarashii Gakko! The Movie (2025) | Youthaganda

So, what is this?

I had no idea, i decided to go into it mostly blind, since i did basically the same for the theathrical release of the Ado Shinzo concert, and i became an Ado fan, so….

I wasn’t actually aware of this Japanese all-girls group, Atarashii Gakko!, at all, so it was a gamble to go see a documentary biopic of sorts that chronicles the last concert of their “Nippon Calling Tour” in late December 2024, after a successful wourld tour (and with 2025 marking the group’s 10th anniversary) that had them even play at Coachella, and goes into what the band “Eternal Youth” slogan-motto actually means to them, and their impact on fans and so on.

I didn’t call them an “idol group” because i don’t think it fits, since – with their “freestyle & free” theme of doing what they want regardless of norms – they basically run the gamut and mix j-pop with rap, tokusatsu style hero songs, hip-hop, metal and even some EDM style beats, while sporting revised school uniforms.

It’s tempting to call this documentary a bit too self-serving and the band overall approach-way of doing things a bit too sappy… but honestly i can’t because they do embody their “eternal youth” approach as they mean it, as in, it’s fine to be silly, to be goofy, to be true to yourself, to let yourself be “cringe but free”, to go your way without having to antagonize people or “break the system”.

It might sound like a convenient “compromise” but it’s a surprisingly positive and healthy attitude to spread around, and it’s hard not to get “infected” by their sincere positivity, their youthful energy, their actual committment to their mantra, or not be intrigued by their freeform musical pastiche (and-or their peculiar coreographies).

[EXPRESSO] Weapons (2025) | It Won’t Attract The Worm

From Zach Cregger, the director of Barbarian….. which i didn’t saw (yeah, i know), so keep that in mind cause i was able to see this as it actually got a theatherical release here.

Regardless, i was captivated by the marketing for Weapons, as it was just first teased with a trailer of children running from their houses at night and a message asking if you saw where they went, and even the proper trailer later out did the now rare thing of actually intriguing prospective audiences instead of giving away the entire thing.

The movie chronicles the mysterious disappearing of an entire class of middle schoolers in a quaint american town, with the children all seemingly simply darting out of their houses at a precise hour of the night, running away somewhere in the dark and never been seen after that, with the police unable to find them despite questioning the only child in that class that didn’t disappear, and their teacher, whom the townfolks start blaming for the whole ordeal.

We see the mystery slowly unfold as we see their point of view and personal experiences of the events that follow, eventually coming together to give a complete picture of what was actually going… which i will not spoil, but it’s pretty creepy stuff.

Even before that, the mystery is quite compelling, you do wanna see where this is gonna go, and it’s most likely not what you imagine, it’s far from obvious, i’ll say that much, maybe a bit old fashioned, but still quite captivating, i for one also didn’t expect to basically turn into sort of an arthouse Beware Children At Play for a bit (even if it not really that either), pretty wild and with some nasty gore.

Definitely an interesting one, quite good stuff,

[EXPRESSO] The Naked Gun (2025) | Piss, Taken

On its face, this seems like a stupid idea, and another chapter in the modern trend of reviving any old franchise because desperation.

Even more so since this is a comedy franchise, the kind of films that usually you don’t consider for revivals since the genre is even more specific to its time than most and almost immediatly ages out of relevance (also due to changing sensibilities).

So i was kinda blindsided when i went to see the Naked Gun sequel-reboot… and it works.

It works and it’s actually feels like the Naked Gun, with its recognizable brand of “dirty jokes” (almost deliberately kept retro in that sense too), wordplay, 90s metahumour, slapstick and mostly absurdist delirium of actively trying to be stupid beyond stupid, just updating the farcical non-sense to modern standards…. but not quite, as it blatantly doesn’t care to coddle modern audiences and keeps the spirit of the 90s movies, it relishes it also being “dated” and throwing out references to Buffy’s musical episode, uncaring if the youngins will get it or not.

say “sequel-reboot” because the set up is that Liam Neeson is playing the son of Lielsen’s character, Frankie Debin, as an idiot sauvant old fashioned cop that this time has to dismantle a plan from a tech mogul that wants to use sonic frequencies to make people regress or something…. the plot is just a crutch for the jokes as usual, but the casting (including Pamela Anderson) and the committment make it work, Liam Neeson actually makes perfect sense as Frankie Drebin Jr. given how Lielsen’s carreer transictioned from serious drama to spoof comedies.

Plus it’s also short and sweet, just 80 minutes of unfettered retro comedy delirium that is confident and earnest, and is most likely gonna be enjoyed by newer audiences too.

[EXPRESSO] Bring Her Back (2025) | Erlic’s Foster House

After the surprise high quality debut of Talk To Me, Michael and Danny Philippou are back with a new supernatural horror film, Bring Her Back.

The plot sees two orphaned step-siblings, Andy and Piper (whom has partial sight) being sent to live with Laura, a former counselor and psychologist that also foster a mute young boy, Oliver, after finding their father dead in the shower.

They are welcomed warmly by Laura (whom also has lost her daughter Cathy years ago) but Andy realizes that’s there something strange going on, as they are part of an occult ritual held by Laura, with the intent of “bringing back” Cathy from the dead, at all costs…

the brothers Philippou again play with what on paper sound like not that great or original, but it’s actually quite gripping, given the rules of the ritual itself (which gets even more disgusting and evil as we learn more of it), some really nasty and disgusting gore, and an incredible villain in Laura, whom is able to undermine the siblings relationship, manipulate them and do any ruthless shit in order to fulfill her desperate bout to see her daughter again, putting up a perfect facade while also being somewhat sympathetic in her plight.

The siblings also are relatable and believable characters, haunted by an ambivalent father figure, unresolved traumas and various issues (both physical and psychological) from their past , feeding the emotional core of the film themes but also being a source of some needed comedic relief here and there, and while some reveals are expected, some element are more original in their execution than what they lead on, plus the relentless pacing also feeds the increasingly disgusting nature of the ritual.

Good stuff, can’t wait to see what the Philippous will be cooking up next.

[EXPRESSO] Donkey Kong Bananza NSWITCH2 | Potassium Primus

Holy banana Batman, this is some primo 3D platformers with some bonkers mesh of a Red Faction style terrain-enviroment destructibility, an 3D DK platformer (with some stylings taken from both Mario Odyssey and Bowser Fury) that plays with the open world idea without being one for the sake of it, and often feels like the recent Zelda mainline games, with climbing, falling down and how it handles challenge rooms/levels.

The plot sees DK going on a island where they’re mining a new kind of banana-gem, encountering an odd talking rock, that (in a reverse Jojolion twist) turns out to be a very young Pauline, whom DK then travels with – Wreck It Ralph style – by exploring the many layes of an abyss leading to the planet core, where a special vein of “Banandium” is located, apparently able to grant any wish, which is why the greedy Void Kong and his underlings are also after it and want Pauline for unknown reasons..

Gameplay it’s a mesh of lot of things from DK games, Mario, other Nintendo games, and a lot more, but done in a way that is original, fresh, and unique, managing to feel and play new even when old time fans might see some crazy ideas as “remixes” of old DK staples (especially from the Country series), it looks great, runs mostly well, and it’s a treasure trove of stuff to find, all fun and constantly rewarding, it’s a massive world full of secrets to find, that is also constantly fun simply indulging how you can break almost everything in a level, even more with the weird “Bananza” transformations that go from “DK SSJ4” to weird hybrids.

I will have a proper review for it down the line, let’s just say this is a Switch 2 MUST HAVE.