The Spooktacular Eight #31: Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

As an Italian, it always tickled me silly how back in the late 2000s EA’s idea for competiting with Sony’s God Of War franchise was to pillage The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and basically transform it into a power fantasy action game about saving a damsel in distress, which happens to be done by traversing Hell as described by the Tuscanian poet.

I guess because it was a well known public domain literary work that would also work as a quick and dirty band-aid to feign some refinement, and to be honest everyone was jumping on the hack n slash action game bandwagon at the time, so of course EA would have tried their hands at it.

Still feels fuckin random because they could just have made a Roman Empire themed hack n slash, but i guess they couldn’t push a marketing campaign literally encouraging to “go to hell” and the “sin to win” marketing shizzle.

I’m not even offended because this is so fuckin american it’s hilarious, i mean, sure, it’s based on Alighieri’s first book of The Divine Comedy as in it has the concept of venturing through Hell, it has a guy named Dante, a gal named Beatrice, and The Devil(TM) sure, it’s the same thing.

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[EXPRESSO] Eddington (2025) | Divide Schmivide

Ari Aster doing a COVID-19 crime western comedy thing?

Sign me in!

Set during the 2020 pandemic, we see the local sheriff (played by Joaquin Phoenix) of the small town of of Eddington, New Mexico, get spiffy against the local mayor (played by Pedro Pascal) for the mask mandate, and it escalates to the sheriff deciding to run for mayor himself, sabotage his rival on social media, while the climate gets worse due to events such as the George Floyd’s murder, etc.

I will respect that Aster doesn’t give a shit about making movies that unearth a recent, hugely divisive period of reality people would rather move on from, and yes, this is a cornucopia of deliberately unlikeable characters, from Q-anon pilled conspiracy theorists in-laws, hypocritical liberal youths into activism as long as there’s some pussy to gain from it, cult leaders, grifters, etc.

Problem is, it’s an unfocused mess which satirizes everything but does so in such a shallow and frankly unsatisfying manner, regurgitating stuff we already know and are still living through, with barely a plot to hold onto, something to actually build to, or characters that actually have any depth, feeling even more cartoonishly stupid than they’re meant to, and somehow able to make actors like Pascal and Phoenix come off as bad, which is sadly impressive.

It’s more frustrating than anything else, as the actual jokes that work are too few and far between for an almost 3 hours long movie, and while it picks up a little midway through, it borders on being an completely boring, unfunny movie.

It all feels like an uncomfortable but also flavourless remasticated portrait of 2020 and today’s America; plus, while i did suggest it might take some time to revaluate Beau Is Afraid…. i’m not so sure about Eddington.

[EXPRESSO] Duse (2025) | D’Annunzio in the Sky with Diamonds

A period piece biopic (one that has been quite a while in the making but finally started production in late 2024, on her 100^th anniversary) about Eleonora Duse, widely recognized as the greatest actress of her time, one of the all time greatests, because of her unorthodox approach to theathre and her ability to shock and wow audiences worlwide even if she kept reciting in Italian, unique as she both carried on old traditions yet was an anti-diva of sorts in the late 19^th Centhury, and she’s basically recognized as one of the more important figures of the period, alongside Nietzche and Ibsen.

This movie depicts her last years, as after having a downright legendary career, she feels the call to return to the stage during the turbolent period after the end of WWI and the upcoming rise of fascism, as she wants to reaffirm herself (and her art) in a nation hurling towards the political deep end, which mirrors her own ailing health…

I’m not sure exactly why i’m reviewing it here, i was gonna see it anyways since i did happen to study her life and career, but i just don’t see this reaching out anywhere else, it’s just a kind of movie that will basically be for very few people, even less when it leaves Italian theathers, where is bombing hard regardless because Eleonora Duse is not a popular name here either.

It’s a shame because it’s a very good historical drama about “turn of the centhury” theather, the importance of art in response to the traumas of war, the scenography is good, the performances are great and so are the perfectly flawed characters.

So if you can still catch it in theathers or if it becomes available on streaming, i strongly recommend watching and-or buying/supporting it.

[EXPRESSO] Mantopus! (2025) | Octaman’s Father

Had to see a newly released on Amazon Prime Video film called “Mantopus!” that is retro styled meta comedy about a now washed horror director finding the titular “man-octopus” hybrid in a mysterious antique shop and deciding to use it as the star of his final horror film, Mantopus, a Creature From The Black Lagoon knock-off.

It’s one of these modern retro styled comedies akin to stuff like The Lost Skeleton Of Kadavra, but set in the late 50s-early 60s, arking back to the drive-in era of monster movies, with a Michael Gough-looking director (as the whole movie it’s basically a tribute to him), a slimeball making stuff like the fictional “Frankenstein In Texas” to the dismay of his producer, running “not-American International Pictures”, but the director becomes mad and starts using the monster to eliminate his “enemies”.

I will say it’s an interesting proposition, because while it’s not too hard by now to emulate the visual style of these shlocky films, you ironically gotta have decent actors able to deliberately act bad the purposefully stock dialogue that seems somehow dubbed in post even when it’s obviously not, but Mantopus manages to get that and most importantly gets right the feel of these old movies, and the tone, that both makes fun but also celebrates with sincerity these films, that actually likes the drive-in trashfests about monsters with little to no budgets but high on violence and “nudity”.

It’s all done with affection instead of spite or mockery, the overacting is lovely as its the deliberate awkward delivery of basically every line and stock discussion, it’s a quite fun film, though it’s a very niche movie made for a very specific audience, one that loves cheesy horror of yore and will notice the posters aren’t for made up old movies.

Platformation Time Again: Bubsy Has Somehow Returned… AGAIN

I was writing this post just to make clear i WILL tackle the entire Bubsy series now that LRG has given a release date, September 7, so pretty soon, and i will eventually (waiting for a sale) get it on Steam since i already have there the 2 new ones they did back in 2018 or something like that (there was a rerelease of Bubsy 1 and 2 on Steam already, Bubsy Two-Fur, but it wasn’t quite legal and nothing more than an SNES emulator using ROMs that anyone already could run, i forgot the details)….

and then some days ago Atari drops the trailer for Bubsy 4D.

We ain’t getting Crash Bandicoot 5 or a new Spyro, but we are getting a new full 3D platformer with Bubsy, now basically a 30 going 40 dude that wants to relate to the kids and to stay positive despite still having PSTD from Bubsy 3D…. so already an improvement over being an annoying teenage edgelord personality-wise, and the game looks honestly decent, might even be the first good Bubsy game ever made.

So, i’m gonna clutch my pearls and wring them in hope of a Jumping Flash collection, why not?

Though with my usual luck we would get a Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino’s Butt remaster instead.

Regardless, look for an eventual full coverage of Bubsy… sometime in the future.

[EXPRESSO] Warfare (2025) | Iraq To The Past

So, is this yet another chapter for the “america gonna invade your country and 20 years later make a movie how sad it made their soldiers” folder of war movies?

I mean, it does depict a real life episode taking place in November 2006 in Iraq, based on testimonies from the people that were in those platoons of NAVY Seals, so it’s almost 20 years after the facts…. but it ain’t that. Even if it is?

After Civil War Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza are back, for Warfare, which sets off to realistically portray the events that happened to a NAVY Seals squad on a very minor mission in Iraq, which evolves into them taking over a civilian house and being bottled up in there as they wait for evacuation/rescue, while trying to defend the position, all based on the retelling of the actual soldiers that were involved.

And it does commit to the realistical, almost documentary style. intense approach, to the point it doesn’t try to actually have a standard plot structure, character development or plot points for that matter, and doesn’t skirt away from the fact there’s a lot of routine processes, waiting around for protocols, alongside opaque military lingo that’s not meant to be understood, uncaring if it may come off as “boring” to general audiences because the point is to tell tit – as possible as it could ever be – “as it was”.

It’s also very unflattering of the military, but i feel it’s not exactly anti-war (as anti-war as a war movie can actually be), it’s more of a by-product of the realistical approach (especially given some ending credits stuff), and there are still some questionable choices, but i can’t deny that it’s quite gripping and at 95 minutes simply doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Kancolle 1944: Itsuka Ano Umi De/See You Again On Another Quiet Blue Sea (2022) [REVIEW] | The Real Fleet Girls

So yeah, that “season 2 which it’s actually not a second season” of the Kancolle anime did happen, i wasn’t able to re/write any of my old pieces on the first season and the follow-up movie, but we can actually do that next year, since this – let’s make it EXTRA clear – this ain’t the continuation/second season, but a completely different Kancolle anime project that had been years in the works without any info or proof it wasn’t scrapped… until it resurfaced in early 2022 as Kancolle 1944: Itsuka Ano Umi De, translated/localized “Kancolle 1944: See You Again On Another Quiet Blue Sea”.

And by “years in the works” i mean that there was enough time for rival series Azur Lane to make its own anime series with Azur Lane: The Animation, and then adapt a spin-off 4 panel manga into animation with Azur Lane: Slow Ahead… so much time that i did review that!

Look, i’m sure Kancolle still has its fans (me included) and a decent player base in its original browser game iteration, but even when this new anime series eventually surfaced… it did so to a dead fanbase, as the franchise was basically “dead” in terms of international appeal, with most people moving on to either Azur Lane, give Arpeggio Of Blue Steel a rewatch, or moving on to other gacha (or gacha adjacent) games with a similar theme, a healthy playerbase or some other anime-multimedia franchise that had content and had become popular, like Umamusume Pretty Derby, with the anime series and its seasons managing to keep interest even when the main product (a F2P smarthphone game) was delayed for 3 years before even just Japanese players could get their hands on it, alongside the spin-offs, related projects, even a brand new feature film.

Sometimes there’s taking so long that the fanbase dies in the meantime in terms of “being late”, as Kancolle 1944 demonstrates, but let’s get to it!

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L’Ultimo Squalo AKA Great White (1981) [REVIEW] | #sharkapalooza

Having mentioned this before at least twice, i feel this year is the one we finish off the vintage italian Jaws ripoff, after reviewing Cruel Jaws before, it’s time to tackle Enzo Castellari’s L’Ultimo Squalo (literally “The Last Shark”), released in 1981 but better known in the US and internationally as Great White. … or it was until Universal slapped the filmakers with a lawsuit on grounds of it being too similar to Steven Spielberg’s Jaws.

So it was pulled from cinemas in North America, and this is way it gained this mystique, even more because it was never released on home video there until 2013’s RetroVision DVD release, which is Region 0 and comes with the documentary featurette as an extra. Obviously this wasn’t the case here in Italy, as we did get the movie rereleased, but we didn’t get much better treatment, as the latest Italian home video release is a 2007 DVD one that doesn’t even have the full cut of the film, as the usual versions going around doesn’t have 5 minutes of – mostly – gore.

So AS USUAL we gotta import a UK or German Blu-Ray edition of our own genre films because they’re better in every single way.

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[EXPRESSO] Milarepa (2025) | Sardinia Saint

A very loose retelling of the life of Milarepa, an important figure in Tibetan Buddhism, this 2025 Italian production takes many liberties, not just genderbending Milarepa, but mostly taking place in a post apocalyptic world where humanity regressed to live in mudhuts.

The gist remains the same, as Mila lives a good life, then her father dies, her uncles decide to treat them like slaves. Mila’s eventually racks up enough money to have Mila be taught black magic and avenge them.

She succeeds, but the destruction and guilt grow to a point where Mila decides to set off in a journey to cleanse her karma….

The first issue is that the whole post apocalyptic angle doesn’t really work, it just looks medieval, and the movie it’s just too grounded/realistic to let the fantasy elements take any proper hold, to suspend disbelief and “buy” stuff like no one noticing Mila being obviously a girl.

Plus characterization is spotty, with some really stupid ass characters, and some inconsistent acting that sticks out against the decent work done by a cast sporting recognizable Hollywood actors like Harvey Keitel, F. Murray Abraham, Angela Molina and Franco Nero.

Doesn’t help that the editing often makes things confusing to follow (when the script already doesn’t, that is), and the second part (the “redemption-philosophical-meditative phase”) is kinda hilarious, almost feeling like a parody… while also clearly done in earnest.

I feel kinda bad because the worldbuilding clearly needed a budget that never was, and it almost feels like it’s going for a feminist message… but that too is pretty superficial and half-baked, as pretty much everything here.

It’s a mess, it’s not good, i do respect the honest effort and ambition, the heart is in the right place, it truly is…. but it’s still a huge mess.

[EXPRESSO] The Ritual (2025) | Al Pacino, Exorcist

Oh look, another exorcism movie…. BUT WAIT, this one has Al Pacino as an exorcist (and Dan Stevens as the head priest) in it!

…. i mean, that’s about the best selling point it has, but i want to make clear this isn’t a bad film.

It’s just another one. Sure, it is based on the 1928 exorcism of Emma Schmidt, one of the more documented cases of this kind, but that barely matters, as “based on real events” for exorcism movies feels like saying “the new first openly LBGT-ish Disney character” by now.

No point in discussing the plot, it’s what you expect by now: woman that seems possessed but has been unable to be helped by medical science is carried to a convent, where they call an exorcist in order to save her soul, attempting to do so in a series of rituals. The demon talks in Latin and other languages, pukes, abuses the woman’s body, the head priest aiding “Al Exorcino” has emotional baggage that makes his faith waver, etc etc.

Really nothing that you haven’t seen before, at all.

And while i do struggle to think how exorcism movie could innovate or improve… this one on one hand feels a bit more grounded and it not going for the cheap jumpscares, but on the flipside even the exorcism weird shit is too familiar to make much on an impact, and not extreme to satisfy horror fans that wanna see something more gruesome or weird or outthere.

Again, i feel this horror subgenre has nothing left to say, but i will admit this ain’t bad, i found myself more involved by the end than i would have expected, the acting is better than usual, the cast is too, but it’s too formulaic and forgettable to recommend.