[EXPRESSO] Passenger (2026) | Roadside Hitchin’

I was a bit concerned when i saw Passenger pushed by very little marketing even here, given it’s the new horror movie from respected director Andrè Øvredral (Trollhunter, The Autopsy Of Jane Doe, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, The Last Voyage Of The Demeter).

The plot involves a couple that has to leave their house and decide to start living on the road, driving their little caravan around the US, but when they stop one night to try and help the victim of some gruesome road accident, it turns out they involutarily picked up a sinister entity, dubbed by early travelers as the “Passenger”…

The premise isn’t bad at all, and i’m glad we have Øvredral directing, because he can actually do effective jumpscares, the photography is good, the characters are decent, the acting is pretty solid too, but Passenger as a whole isn’t even bad, it’s just disappointing, especially coming from a director that has already proved he can do better than this.

most of the script has either half baked ideas or just rehashes very generic horror elements, which is especially true of the “Passenger” itself, this derivative, generic ass looking and acting demon motherfucker, and even with the lore being an American roadside folklore mythology affair, it then pivots into religious territory… which doesn’t really fit.

There are some nice ideas like them using the cinema projector to visualize the entity, but the rules of the entity seems vague at best, often ignored anyway, the setpieces don’t really build upon each other, and overall the movie just doesn’t do anything original, interesting or that hasn’t been done WAY better before.

Passenger isn’t terrible or anything, it’s watchable, but also incredibly disappointing and frustrating, because you can see the better movie this could have been.

[EXPRESSO] The Sheep Detectives (2026) | Chicken The Godless

I’ll be frank, at a glance i kinda dismissed this when i saw it appear in cinemas, but after repeated positive word of mouth and some coverage encouraging not to sleep on this one, i’ve decided to check out The Sheep Detectives.

I’m sure this also beats the awful new animated adaptation of Animal Farm in terms of “animal rising up and growing a political coscience” aspect of things, and that movie doesn’t even have Hugh Jackman as a lonely british shepherd, Greg, that loves tending to his flock, so much he named every single sheep and even made a habit of reading mystery murder novels to them as a good night story of sorts, pretending like they can actually understand him.

But it turns out the sheeps are actually able to understand his words, and when Greg is found dead one night, the animals, especially the most intelligent sheep of the flock, Lily, decide to practice what they learned from the books and help the incredibly inept single policeman in town to solve the whodunnit and avenge Logan, even if that entails finding out way more than they really want to know about the world, and questioning their existence and core beliefs.

The surprisingly star studded cast (both as VA and live action actors) is actually just the proverbial icing, since this is a very, very nice blend of mystery murder genre savviness without going into subversion territory with comedy that’s actually fairly witty, despite while still being a very wholesome family film with adorable talking animals for the kids, one that also manages to be emotional without becoming outright saccharine, and somehow juggle that with more heavy themes without becoming depressing.

What a very nice surprise, which i didn’t expect to say about the “sheep existentialism” family film.

[EXPRESSO] Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition (2026) | 50 Years Of Eddie

To celebrate their 50^th anniversary, Iron Maiden released this new film biopic thingie, Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition, in theathers, i mean, why the fuck not?

This being an anniversary milestone film, it does do what you’d expect from most music biopics or docs, as in, we get a chronological recollection of the band history over it’s 50 years history, from the humble beginnings, the rise to fame, them being on top of the world, the falls from graces, etc.

Burning Ambition i will admit does give the formula a little neat twist by letting the fans chime in themselves and not just as disembodied audio, with the band members instead providing voiceover commentary and narration over archive footage without appearing themselves, and we get fans from all kinds of backgrounds, be other rock-metal celebrities like Lars Ulrich, actor Javier Bardem (no kidding), or – more interestingly – Polish fans that in the 80s got to see the band despite the Soviet regime rule, or survivors of the conflicts in Lebanon connect with their music.

While the “fan focus” is a nice thing, it makes the whole thing come off as less sincere, basically using them to validate opinions they already wanted/expected to hear, plus there isn’t much we haven’t seen before, the pacing is kinda weird, with the narration skimping over some of the less “glorious” periods like the 90s or most of the less flattering details, and while obviously fans already know the songs by heart, i feel the music itself could have been given a bit more space.

Overall, Burning Ambition it’s a bit too “domesticated” all things considered, more interested in being a nostalgic trip down memory lane to promote their new upcoming tour, yet it’s perfectly watchable and entertaining, a decent time for Iron Maiden fans.

[EXPRESSO] Obsession (2025) | Yandere Simulator USA

Apparently there is a youtuber to horror filmakers pipeline/trend and it seems to be panning out fairly well (i haven’t seen Iron Lung yet), even if i never even heard of Curry Barker before, and to be frank i didn’t knew that going into the film, at all, nor it matters much to me.

Set in some modern pre-COVID american small town, Obsession tells the story of “Bear”, a very typical shy boy that works in a music store had a crush on one of his coworkers, Nikki, for a while, but couldn’t muster up the courage to confess even when he could, so he instead uses a “willow wish stick” novelty toy he originally bought on a whim to wish for her love absolute.

But like in every classic “be careful what you wish for” kind of story, Bear gets more than he bargained out of cracking that novelty item, as Nikki’s new sudden behaviour has her go to increasingly creepy, delirious, erratic and violent ways, basically going for that infamous “american yandere” experience, a suburbian flavour of Yuno Gasai for the yanks.

And while it’s funnier than you might expect, it still works tremendously off its simple and apparently “thin” premise, as it commits to it without resorting to cheap jumpscares or trying to destroy your eadrums with sudden volume increase and screaming or shit like that, it builds this tension between Bear and “Nikki”, as the guy is also – for lack of a better word – obsessed to get her affection one way or the other that he’s willing to simply go along with whatever insane or horrific event is thrown is way, despite his fear of Nikki growing stronger every day.

It’s a very good modern take on a very familiar formula, in short.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Remarkably Bright Creatures (2026) | Psych-opus

Due to wallet woes, why not, let’s see what’s new on Netflix, this film about a woman and an old intelligent octopus she cares for in the local acquarium sounds cute enough, why not?

Based on the best selling book of the name same by Shelby Van Pelt, Remarkably Bright Creatures is the story of Tova, a widoved old woman that leads a lonely existence and does night shifts of taking care-cleaning the aquarium of a small coastal town.

She still struggles to cope with her son, Erik, having passed away decades ago, and the only one that she seems able to communicate with is Marcellus, a big old octopus that lives in the acquarium, its thoughts expressed in an elegant and sarcastic voiceover by Alfred Molina.

That is, until Cameron, a failed musician and a bit of a wanderer, troubled by his the absent father, comes into town…

While fairly obvious where the story points (and goes) to, it’s more about the manner of which these two will manage to connect for the better, with the touch of “whimsy-magic” of the octopus that acts an involuntary psychiatrist recipient and is given a “talking” voice to comment back for the audience’s sake.

That is actually the problem, as the film is either too scared to let the silent moments work, or maybe because it’s a Netflix release, it explains any metaphor or anything that expects audiences having some semblance of basic narrative literacy.

Yet, despite that and some issues like subplots being a bit too superficial, it does work because it’s not trying to “Oscar-max”, it’s actually just a little gentle, melanchonic, genuine feel-good tale of lonely people, normal people that talk as such, one never cynical in intent or execution.

Could have been better, but definitely worth a watch.

[EXPRESSO] Mortal Kombat II (2026) | Sequel Syndrome

It would have taken some actual fuckin effort in actively trying to sabotage the film for this follow up to the 2021 Mortal Kombat to be worse than that… well, that film wasn’t really horrible, but it was an ensemble of random, unpopular and ineffective – at best – narrative choices made just so the film based around a fighting videogame series revolving around a mystic deadly fighting tournament could put on the side doing the titular bout of Mortal Kombat.

It all felt like it was just someone at WB mandating it to be so in order to lure doing the actual MK plot in a sequel that was actually about what people wanted to see… and Mortal Kombat II is indeed that, as Shang Tsung’s plan to kill Earthrealm champions before the tournament could begin fell apart, so now Earthrealm has to compete against Outrealm, commanded by the tyrant Shao Khan (served also by the necromancer Quan Chi), and a new warrior has been chosen by the gods to fight for Earthrealm, a washed up 90s action movie hero called Johnny Cage…

And yes, Karl Urban as Cage already makes this one the better film, but yes, overall this is actually what people were expecting from a MK movie, lots of fights, the tournament, lots of gore, fun videogame-fantasy nonsense, absurd characters duking it out in mystical realms, going to Hell, the effects are better and the plot is actually okay, doesn’t have pacing narcolepsy or occasional tone issues the 2021 had, this time around embracing wholeheartedly its inherent trashy nonsense.

While i had have honestly a very fun, silly time with this one, i will have to dock the rating down a notch because.. well, because this is the film they should have made back in 2021.

The Iconic Maintenance & Content Arrangement Break

As i said i would, i’ll be taking a break from full length reviews for a week sometimes near mid-May in order to properly flesh out the blog with more than rudimentary pages, updating rubrics, hopefully doing some cleaning of the PC itself, stuff like that.

While a bit earlier than anticipated, i will be doing so from the 9th of May up to the 16th (included), EXPRESSO reviews as already said will happen regardless, the one for Mortal Kombat II is actually planned to drop on the 9th, coincidentally so.

Also, i had to make a last minute change to the line up for Melee May, and since i didn’t happen to have something already prepared that could fill in/fit with the genre, i will be doing a completely unrelated, different review to close off the month.

Also no, i do not plan to do a review of the Mandalorian film that is coming out late this month, if it happens i guess you’ll be reading an unplanned EXPRESSO review.

As a last, last note, i saw the teaser trailer for the new Resident Evil movie that is gonna be directed by Zach Creggers (Barbarian, Weapons, Keeper). Looks good, and while there’s nothing very “Resident Evil” about it…. that might actually be for the best, let’s be honest, not that the fans deserve it (they didn’t even deserve the decent Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City), as they really want stuff like the crappy old Paul W.S. Anderson ones, just with the plots being 1 to 1 the ones in the games.

And asking for the series they allegedly like to keep pumping out shit on the same quality as Return To Silent Hill… is definitely a hill to die on.

But i guess we’ll see about that, once the frothing stops and we actually get to see the actual film.

Peace.

International Workers’ Day Break

While we are ready to start off Melee May, today i’m gonna take a break since it’s International Worker’s Day and all.

So consider giving my EXPRESSO review of The Devil Wears Prada 2 a read, if you so desire, and since we’re on topic, no, i will not see nor review the Micheal Jackson biopic, i really don’t care, especially since it’s from the same producer of the Bohemian Rhapsody film, pity because i do like MJ.

i will be reviewing the second new Mortal Kombat film, Mortal Kombat 2, though, not on day one, but that EXPRESSO review is coming.

See you tomorrow!

[EXPRESSO] The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) | Legacy Girlbossing

Ah yes, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice of fashion biz comedy-drama cinema.

Actually, yes: it’s a direct sequel, it takes into account the fact that 20 years have passed by for the characters too, the main cast is back reprising their roles, directing duties are still handled by David Frankel, even screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna is back as well, so it’s “legit”, as they once said.

I remember watching it back in the day, but since it was literally 20 years ago i did give a fresh watch…. and honestly it still holds up, it’s not perfect, but it’s funny, the satire still has some edge, it’s very memorable, lots of fun and damn that Streep performance (and Tucci’s of course).

Even so, since the trailer for this rolled out i wondered “why though?”, despite well knowing why: even if there wasn’t a book sequel to draw from, it’s the 2020s, even Twister has a legacy sequel.

My fear was that it would still be stuck in the mid-2000s…. but actually no, it’s actually the opposite, as it tackles the current issue of megacorpos, megamergers and layoff epidemic, with Andy, now a renowed journalist, getting laid off by her parent company as she is accepting an award in her field.

Now jobless, she is hired as senior writer by the fashion agency she once left, Runway, as the firm itself is facing a huge PR crisis and is at risk at being downsized into oblivion by the new management, despite still being (mostly) helmed by Miranda.

While not perfect, it’s a surprisingly good sequel that doesn’t amount to just a series of nods to the first one, and it’s arguably better than most legacy sequels we’re getting nowadays, with a cast in top form reprising their classic roles like they never left.

[EXPRESSO] The Long Walk (2025) | March Royale

Based on a Stephen King novel of the same name, The Long Walk is set in an alternative 70s America, where a totalitarian fascist rule (following some unclarified economic crisis) helds the titular “Long Walk”, where fifty young teen boys enter to represent their state and they have to walk while keeping a certain pace, and where any kind of action that involves stopping gives them a penalty, with a squadron ensure that after three strikes the runner will be shot dead, this all televised (“to inspire” economic and production growth in the nation, allegedly) and with no clear goal besides thinning the contestants to one, a single winner which will receive a big money prize and to have one wish fulfilled.

On its face, this it seems like a very late adaptation of an older King story (as this was indeed written way back in 1979) made to capture the resurgent interest in battle royales as a widespread and easily recognized concept – even outside of cinema -… and while the premise of King’s novel was indeed prescient, it still feels like its own thing since it doesn’t try to emulate the modern battle royale formula.

It has the themes, surely, but it forgoes any of the exaggerated theathrics by focusing almost exclusively to the titular “long walk”, the deadly youth marathon allegedly meant to be “inspiring”, which also conveniently works as a public execution exercise, a way to manifacture consent and to send a message to any possible young insurgents.

While not overly long itself, the direction does manage to keep the narrative focus, make you feel the insane and exhaustingly pointless death march that seems to never end, but also not bore the viewer thanks to great performances and very well rounded, engrossing teen characters.

Quite riveting.