Eepy August Summer Break

As usual, the blog will go on hiatus and resume as usual on the first of September…. well, as i already announced some weeks ago, there will be some relatively big changes coming next year, even though they won’t affect the schedule for the rest of 2026, since a lot has already been done and planned.

I will make a proper post on the 1st of September about that, so in the meantime behave, relax and have fun.

And there are some EXPRESSO reviews that will come out soon anyway, so look forward to those.

[EXPRESSO] The End Of Oak Street (2026) | Amblin’s Dynostopia

When i first saw in theathers the trailer for The End Of Oak Street showcasing dinosaurs i was sold, even more as it is from director-screenwriter-producer David Robert Mitchell (It Follows, Under The Silver Lake).

So someone knew how to market the film, clearly not who decided, a week before release, to release a promo on social media with talking dogs (not even dinosaurs) doing a podcast, made with generative IA to promote the film… to whom i don’t know, because even the less online, average person will see that and just go see something else.

Congrats to somehow managing being clowned on by the marketing team for fuckin Paw Patrol The Dino Movie, when you have to sell people on a 80s themed scifi mystery where Anne Hathaway knives dinosaurs to defend her family.

The End Of Oak Street is indeed about this family living in a 80s suburban community, which one day wakes up to see their entire block now surrounded by prehistoric vegetation and overrun by dinosaurs, as if displaced by some cosmic anomaly, with them now trying to bend together and survive in this new reality….

On one hand, it’s another movie taking place in the 80s, and unsubtly grabbing unto an Amblin-style nostalgia for the era, and you might feel disappointed if you expected it to hold some crazy twist that turned this into more bonkers territory (or a different ending).

On the other hand, it is a FAR better dinosaur movie than all the Jurassic World films combined, there’s a lot of prehistoric creatures being represented, the family drama is actually as solid as the survival itself, you do care about these characters, and it exactly as long as it needs, not bothering to give overly long explanations that will never satisfy anyone anyway.

[EXPRESSO] The Death of Robin Hood (2026) | Anti-Hood

Let’s make it clear, that yes, the timing on this one is horrendous, sure, let’s make a new Robin Hood movie in today climate….. about how Robin Hood was actually a fraud, as in, he was actually a vicious criminal that murdered and stole without caring to “give it back to the poor”, but instead just took for himself. Lest the tribilionaries be offended.

Yes, this revisionist take stems from a 16-17^th centhury ballad, A Gest Of Robyn Hode, and actually isn’t a “eat the poor” advocating version, but damn the timing.

This is actually an interesting choice (and arguably more apt than it seems exactly because of it releasing now) that deliberately deromanticizes the myth and reimagines Robin Hood (Hugh Jackman in Logan-mode) as old, aged outlaw moving in the Irish hills and mountains, haunted by his past killing and actions as an exiled criminal, taking refuge in a priory when he gets wounded badly, and there befriending the prioress and other residents of the priory, as he find himself forced to finally come to terms with his actions..

It’s pretty grounded, realistic, gloomy, brutal, and honestly i’d say it’s surprisingly good…. well not that surprising, since its from Michael Sarnoski, director of Pig and A Quiet Place: Day One, but undeniably the narrative moves at its own relatively slow pace and after the first very action heavy part, it becomes mostly a “chamber drama”, and in that regard some characterizations could have used some more screen time.

it’s not for everyone or great, but it’s a fuckton more interesting and worth your time than the last time we got a modern Robin Hood movie, i remember seeing that awful 2018 film simply called Robin Hood that somehow made the Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur look better in comparison.

[EXPRESSO] Hokum (2026) | Banshee Burner

Review confession time: i’m not familiar at all with Damian McCarthy as a director or otherwise, but i also didn’t do much research and i just trusted the very good general reception.

I’m glad i did, but let’s not skip steps.

Hokum is about Ohm, an american writer struggling to write the epilogue of his successful Conquistador book trilogy, that goes to Ireland in a hotel where his parents had their honeymoon, moved by the appeareance of the ghost of his mother, and there to lay to rest their ashes.

He decides to pass the night in the hotel in order to see if he could push past his writer’s block, while mostly being abrahasive and dismissive of the hotel staff (especially the old irish folklore about witches a local old man tells to some children) while also getting plastered, and things turn for the worse when he wakes up again, alive just because one of the staff found him hanging from his room ceiling in time…

It’s definitely a slow burner that does take its time, but with elegance, a great atmosphere, without really using jumpscares, but some really unsettling creepy apparations (the rabbit one is indeed some really creepy shit), and surprisingly this time around isn’t so much about a monster or old folklore repurposed to rappresent grief (though that obviously play a part), but an actual proper supernatural tales of horror and mystery old as the hills, that manages to actually have a compelling narrative that does play on multiple angles but also avoids having a twist that undoes or invalidates previous key scenes, the kind often done to play with expectations, just in order to win the guessing war with the audiences, regardless if it makes for a better movie or not.

Pretty good stuff, recommended.

August Augurs, the Fall-Winter schedule and changes in 2027

As a reminder, the blog will go on the usual break on the 16th, and it will resume full activity on September 1st.

As for the remaining august days, all the planned full lenght reviews, though in terms of One Piece content, only the review of Season 2 of the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece will release as planned, sadly the one for Gigant Battle won’t be ready in time, and i’ve decided not to rush it.

EXPRESSO reviews for Hokum and Spider Man: Brand New Day will arrive soon enough on the blog.

The main big change i wanna announce is, after deliberation (and also because i’m between jobs now) i’ve decided to dedicate myself more about writing down a book about giant monster cinema (and maybe move into video content stuff) in the coming future, so next year the schedule will be more or less done on a “when and if i can” basis, i’ll still make some sort of plan but basically i will allow myself to wing it or scrap things.

This won’t affect much or at all the schedule for September and up to Dicember-early January, as most of the work has already been done or is already on its way to be completed, or already “set in stone” either way.

I’ll still work on the blog and keep updating it, and this doesn’t mean i will sunset older rubric, mainstays like Giant Monster March, The Spooktacular Eight, Musou/Melee May will remain and so on, EXPRESSO either.

Also, i’m gonna address it here before i forget: while i doubt we’ll even see it here in theathers before October (if at all), i won’t be covering Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man remake in any form, as he’s been using GenAI shit in it, and not for minute details either, plus i learned in the fallout that he’s even more of a piece of shit i’ve though/remembered, and it’s not like we’re gonna miss much anyway, given his track record of “quality” (Thanksgiving was quite fun, admittedly) and the movie reviewing poorly even ignoring Eli Roth himself and the GenAI sequences…. we ain’t gonna miss out on anything of value, let’s be real, i’m surprised he still pretends to be relevant.

[EXPRESSO] Disgaea Mayhem PS5 | Flaccid Flannery

Turns out the demo for Disgaea Mayhem wasn’t really that misrepresentative.

Yes, the full game IS is better than the demo, but also indicative of this being indeed a cheap project the company really didn’t believe in, one they just kinda slapped the Disgaea name on to ensure it sells some copies, even if it the story fits the zany nature of the NIS series, being about a mercenary tasked by an Overlord princess, Tichelle, to retrieve legendary flan desserts from demons that defected from her army.

Combat isn’t as refined as more recent traditional Warriors title or Dynasty Warriors Origins, but it’s decent, there are some fun weapon movesets, the borrowed mechanics from the Disgaea games help, overall the core gameplay is good enough.. shame there’s really nothing around it, just a handful of overly simple levels that are frankly interchangeable, as they have nothing going on: no bases system, no attempt at any kind of gimmick, nothing.

Just kill very small amount of peons, do it two more times, then reach the level boss area.

It feels like a musou game made by people that never actually played a musou game.

Rinse and repeat 3 times for most of the few story chapters, maybe stopping a bit to grind if underleveled, not that it’ll make the campaign last more than 6 hours, with very few post-game content as well, gated behind way too much grind, and it’s easy to accidentally overlevel yourself, killing the little “balance” it had going on.

Plus frankly the game looks cheap, like a late PS Vita project resurrected and souped up a bit.

Yet, i don’t find Disgaea Mayhem to be THAT bad, it’s “just” disappointing, underwhelming, overly basic (to the point it feels half-baked as a whole), very short and content starved.

[EXPRESSO] Deep Water (2026) | Shark Ditching

Renny Harlin, better known as the director of the original Deep Blue Sea, Cliffhanger and Cutthroat Island, having finished early this year the new awful Strangers trilogy nobody asked for, he’s back doing what he’s best known for: sharks.

Actually, that’s kinda unfair, as Deep Water is mostly a survival film about an international flight that crashlands somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, with the surviving passenger and crew members forced to find a way to survive and escape the deadly debris of the torn plane, while also avoid being picked off by a group of shark cycling around them.

Mind you, i’m glad there are sharks in the film, frankly i would have been surprised if they weren’t, because this is such a deliberate throwback to late 90s disaster-survival films and horror b-movies of this ilk, with just a veneer of realism to avoid it killing any tension.

Do not let the fact some of the characters we’re presented before or on the plane include esports squads, grandmas saying “you’re a 5 out of 10” impropted to people, ipad kids, the attitude and cliches are done in such a retro fashion, from the characters being either rude assholes or saints, with an expecially assholish one that you know has a “shark food soon enough” label, and which you indeed look forward to see its inevitable fate come to pass, the kid character being clever yet tempting death at least twice, the heroic sacrifice by the consumate character actor that is arguably on autopilot, etc.

Deep Water is essentially a 90s styled disaster-survival-shark film, and its retro nature it’s both charming but also obviously dated…. yet in this case i think it comes off as a decent genre thrill ride of yore, and better because it’s confident in what it is.

[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Champions iOS/ SWITCH | Pokécore Posse

While this launched earlier on Switch (as Pokemon F2P games do nowadays)…. i couldn’t be arsed, but since the iOS/Android version released recently, i figured i’d give Pokemon Champions a proper go.

Pokemon Champions is indeed what you’d think it was and what it is advertized as, a competitive focused title that it just about the Pokemon battles, with a sprinkle of context-story of you being a new promising Pokemon Trainer that “inherits” a gym in the city of Frontieropolis, and you’re expected to bring it glory by raising the ranks.

Combat is the classical turn based affair of the series, which is good, as is the idea of streamlining info, explaining move effects more clearly, letting you customize aspects like IV or the pokemon natures, to help new players get ready to battle ASAP…. problem is the tutorials given are shallow and lackluster, not even properly explaining all weather effects or how these work against or alongside priority moves.

This means longtime series players that already knew the many systems and all the combat intricacies will immediatly have an edge, and there are no NPC battles to let players learn on the field before entering ranked or random.

Plus, aside from some roster “omissions”, there isn’t much content yet, and in a strange effort to balance itself despite the F2P economy, the single currency can’t be bought with money, but you can get bundles of deluxe training items, the expected “Battle/Season Pass”, and Pokemon Home support means the hardened Pokefanatics can import meta-relevant Pokemon of recent series titles from there.

It’s a pity because otherwise it’s actually fairly decent, an actually solid foundation, and even with its F2P economy and tutorials nowhere as in-deep as needed, it does manage to make competitive more accessibile, which i think it’s good.

Veteran Of The PSN Wars + The August Shakedown

Almost as a divine punishmen (or a reality check), 4 days ago the entire PSN infrastructure went down for an entire day, while Sony is still standing by their decision to abandon physical moving forward, and despite a remarkable backlash that hopefully will keep going, because it should be going and make the company reverse course.

Because, let’s be real, even Microsoft initially said that the X-Box One had to be online only (or how Kinect was gonna be mandatory for it), i remember them telling people off to “go buy a 360 instead, you peasants… and it all had to be walked back when it became both unpopolar and unappealing to customers.

This isn’t fuckin holy text, it’s business, and while i still wish people used half of this outrage for more pressing political issues instead of letting apathy steer us into an Orwellian novel, i’m not here to go on that soapbox… or so i would say if they didn’t immediatly made the gesture pointless by telling it has an expiry date, in a week they’re gonna stop.

As i said before, sadly “gamer boycotts” is a joke in itself for a reason.

I’m not here to tell you what i was obviously gonna think about the issue (of course i was gonna say this situation it’s shit, it’s beyond just “shit”, it’s far worse), i’m here to go full Abe Simpson, sit by the lemon tree and just think back to 2011, when the Playstation Network was hacked and Sony gave everyone a couple of free games.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Metal Slug Rush iOS | Survivors’ Front

I would like to thank the new SNK for choosing that subtitle, as it really is a gift to “do a gaming journalism” on, especially since it got released not so long after being announced alongside a supposed big return of the series on consoles and PC.

I wasn’t even sure if bother with this, since i don’t need 300 words to review or described Metal Slug Rush, as this is indeed the expected type of experience for a mobile spin-off of an old series, as in, clone what is popular at the moment, what’s easy and dandy to copy-emulate.

In this case, it’s Vampire Survivors, whose formula is now the go-to game type, i mean, they made a Hololive themed one, even that horror comedy, Renfield, got a “Survivors-like” tie-in game, and there’s even a Jujutsu Kaisen game with the VS formula coming up this year,

It is shameless, and it doesn’t really add anything of its own to the formula beside the fact the main weapons are guns and hence long range, plus as every MS mobile spin off ever released (aside from Metal Slug Awakening), it’s basically a giant self-asset flip as it reuses the old sprites A LOT, heck, they even recycled artwork of the Instructor from that Mission School extra mode.

But frankly MS fans might enjoy the old pixel art better, i sure do, and to be honest, it’s a decent VS clone, it’s alright, considered its a F2P gacha thing, one that opts more to force grinding/levelling gear more than other, and at least it doesn’t try to lull you into the extended early period where you’re given enough currency and materials to progress, but instead makes it clear fairly fast that there’s convenience and wares to be had if you have coin.