One Piece: Grand Adventure PS2 [REVIEW] | Grand Battle Rushed

One Piece videogames were actually quite wild in terms of what got released out of Japan during the PS1 and PS2 era, with a very inconsistent series of releases outside of Japan, some esclusive to North America, some to European countries, some like One Piece for the GBA being the weird case of being regionally exclusive to North America, as in, there doesn’t exists a Japanese GBA cart of that game because it was never made in the first place.

One Piece Grand Adventure also falls into this category, as it was never released in Japan but made esclusively for North America and Europe, still by the same developer of the Grand Battle series (and behind a lot of One Piece games over the years), Ganbarion, to profit off the good sales for One Piece Grand Battle Rush (just One Piece Grand Battle in NA and EUR territories) on PS2.

I said PS2 as in the Gamecube version is a NA exclusive, in Europe we just got it on PS2.

But yeah, keep in the mind the “to profit off” part, which will also explain why this review might be shorter than expected.

Continua a leggere “One Piece: Grand Adventure PS2 [REVIEW] | Grand Battle Rushed”

[EXPRESSO] Weapons (2025) | It Won’t Attract The Worm

From Zach Cregger, the director of Barbarian….. which i didn’t saw (yeah, i know), so keep that in mind cause i was able to see this as it actually got a theatherical release here.

Regardless, i was captivated by the marketing for Weapons, as it was just first teased with a trailer of children running from their houses at night and a message asking if you saw where they went, and even the proper trailer later out did the now rare thing of actually intriguing prospective audiences instead of giving away the entire thing.

The movie chronicles the mysterious disappearing of an entire class of middle schoolers in a quaint american town, with the children all seemingly simply darting out of their houses at a precise hour of the night, running away somewhere in the dark and never been seen after that, with the police unable to find them despite questioning the only child in that class that didn’t disappear, and their teacher, whom the townfolks start blaming for the whole ordeal.

We see the mystery slowly unfold as we see their point of view and personal experiences of the events that follow, eventually coming together to give a complete picture of what was actually going… which i will not spoil, but it’s pretty creepy stuff.

Even before that, the mystery is quite compelling, you do wanna see where this is gonna go, and it’s most likely not what you imagine, it’s far from obvious, i’ll say that much, maybe a bit old fashioned, but still quite captivating, i for one also didn’t expect to basically turn into sort of an arthouse Beware Children At Play for a bit (even if it not really that either), pretty wild and with some nasty gore.

Definitely an interesting one, quite good stuff,

[EXPRESSO] The Naked Gun (2025) | Piss, Taken

On its face, this seems like a stupid idea, and another chapter in the modern trend of reviving any old franchise because desperation.

Even more so since this is a comedy franchise, the kind of films that usually you don’t consider for revivals since the genre is even more specific to its time than most and almost immediatly ages out of relevance (also due to changing sensibilities).

So i was kinda blindsided when i went to see the Naked Gun sequel-reboot… and it works.

It works and it’s actually feels like the Naked Gun, with its recognizable brand of “dirty jokes” (almost deliberately kept retro in that sense too), wordplay, 90s metahumour, slapstick and mostly absurdist delirium of actively trying to be stupid beyond stupid, just updating the farcical non-sense to modern standards…. but not quite, as it blatantly doesn’t care to coddle modern audiences and keeps the spirit of the 90s movies, it relishes it also being “dated” and throwing out references to Buffy’s musical episode, uncaring if the youngins will get it or not.

say “sequel-reboot” because the set up is that Liam Neeson is playing the son of Lielsen’s character, Frankie Debin, as an idiot sauvant old fashioned cop that this time has to dismantle a plan from a tech mogul that wants to use sonic frequencies to make people regress or something…. the plot is just a crutch for the jokes as usual, but the casting (including Pamela Anderson) and the committment make it work, Liam Neeson actually makes perfect sense as Frankie Drebin Jr. given how Lielsen’s carreer transictioned from serious drama to spoof comedies.

Plus it’s also short and sweet, just 80 minutes of unfettered retro comedy delirium that is confident and earnest, and is most likely gonna be enjoyed by newer audiences too.

Pinata Survival Island AKA Demon Island (2002) [REVIEW] | Cinco De Pantyo

This is the “something” i eventually went with as an excuse for having to cut down One Piece August reviews (which are coming up soon after this), some rando film i had in my Amazon Prime Video watchlist, Demon Island…. under its Italian title, Pinata: Terror Island (still showing the title of Pinata: Survival Island in the film itself, as you do), which immediatly has primo “please rent me from Blockbuster, please!” direct-to-video trash film energy.

And now is a 20 years old aged serving of trash filet, hopefully so, let’s roll the dice with something from the directors of King Cobra (the cobra killer movie with Pat Morita i did review back then), National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze and the tv mini-series Deadtime Stories.

One might wonder why retitle a movie called “Demon Island” as “Pinata” or “Pinata Survival Island”…. unless you actually read a synopsis and realize it’s a bit more direct, since that’s the source of the daemons.

You see, an isolated tribe, cursed by spirits for their sins, decides to craft a pinata to house all their evil, and then sends the thing into the fuckin ocean to get rid of it and advert famines and such.

Not their problem anymore, i guess, so its up to a couple of teens to find the pinata on a island, while they are there to do a weird fraternity-sorority thing during Cinco De Mayo, which is getting fraternity guys and sorority girls put into teams of two and…..basically do a Senran Kagura questline that somehow never happened but easily could have, as in they compete for who can find the most underwear strewn around the island, with a prize of 20000 bucks for the winners.

Continua a leggere “Pinata Survival Island AKA Demon Island (2002) [REVIEW] | Cinco De Pantyo”

[EXPRESSO] Donkey Kong Bananza NSWITCH2 | Potassium Primus

Holy banana Batman, this is some primo 3D platformers with some bonkers mesh of a Red Faction style terrain-enviroment destructibility, an 3D DK platformer (with some stylings taken from both Mario Odyssey and Bowser Fury) that plays with the open world idea without being one for the sake of it, and often feels like the recent Zelda mainline games, with climbing, falling down and how it handles challenge rooms/levels.

The plot sees DK going on a island where they’re mining a new kind of banana-gem, encountering an odd talking rock, that (in a reverse Jojolion twist) turns out to be a very young Pauline, whom DK then travels with – Wreck It Ralph style – by exploring the many layes of an abyss leading to the planet core, where a special vein of “Banandium” is located, apparently able to grant any wish, which is why the greedy Void Kong and his underlings are also after it and want Pauline for unknown reasons..

Gameplay it’s a mesh of lot of things from DK games, Mario, other Nintendo games, and a lot more, but done in a way that is original, fresh, and unique, managing to feel and play new even when old time fans might see some crazy ideas as “remixes” of old DK staples (especially from the Country series), it looks great, runs mostly well, and it’s a treasure trove of stuff to find, all fun and constantly rewarding, it’s a massive world full of secrets to find, that is also constantly fun simply indulging how you can break almost everything in a level, even more with the weird “Bananza” transformations that go from “DK SSJ4” to weird hybrids.

I will have a proper review for it down the line, let’s just say this is a Switch 2 MUST HAVE.

Halfway (?) through Donkey Kong Bananza

So this is just a quick post, not gonna get into any detail since i would love to feature this into a Platformation Time Again big ass review, and i’m gonna do a quick EXPRESSO review once i beat the game…. which i apparently i’m just barely halfway through, from have i’ve been told, and that already is telling this maybe should have been the launch game, this is stuff that sells you on the console, that good.

(i’ve played platformers that were about the same lenght- can’t specify because the game doesn’t keep an internal playtimer – and nowhere as good AND dense of fun stuff to do)

It’s an impressive game, it’s basically a modern 3D DK game done by most of the core Super Mario Odissey team at Nintendo (which you can tell by how it handles costumes and special collectibles), with the main new mechanic being the ability to basically destroy and burrows almost everything in the level, almost mixing a touch of Red Faction destructible enviroment but done in a “sandbox” way, despite the game not being open world, the approach is that you’re encouraged, rewarded and if not required you might find unthordox ways to reach a certain collectable by digging in certain ways or tearing and throwing different types of terrains around.

Continua a leggere “Halfway (?) through Donkey Kong Bananza”

[EXPRESSO] Superman (2025) | Acape Anew

The long awaited Superman reboot by James Gunn (Tromeo And Juliet, Slither, Guardians Of The Galaxy) is here, after the whole reboot thing done with The Flash movie, so WB can cleanse their hands of previous promises and concept it didn’t want to committ to anymore (when it didn’t flush entire finished movies down the drain).

And indeed it’s a James Gunn superhero film, i mean that in a flattering way because it was the right choice to just point at him and say “fix our shit”, he knows how to do them good and this ain’t no exception. Plus i feel fans of the “Man of steel” have been clamoring for something different from Snyder edginess, and this definitely does change things for the sillier, which it’s a good thing because it acknowledges superhero films can be proper silly without having to be ashamed of some specific silly parts of the source material, which it embraces (Superman’s dog, Krypto, is actually a major side character, and yes he has the lil ‘cape on) but without being lazy about it.

It’s a reboot that also understands it doesn’t have to restabilish the whole mythos by redoing the same things as previous Superman films, people know the character, and the script demonstrates Gunn does too, so it cuts some vestigial superhero film traditions of old for the better, by demonstrating instead of telling or expositioning to death, the plot (itself plucking a lot of characters and plot beats from well known iconic iterations and classic storylines) centering on the public perception of Superman after he’s already established as a hero, despite also ignoring pressing geopolitical matters in order to do the right thing, and Lex Luthor’s efforts to undermine his actions and antagonize the whole world against him.

Good, fun stuff!

[EXPRESSO] Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) | Site R

5 years after the events of Jurassic World Dominion, dinosaurs didn’t quite adapt too well, with the surviving ones now living in remote off-limits islands with equatorial style climates.

A pharma company tasks a mercenary unit to visit one of these remote “dinosaur islands” in order to retrieve blood samples from 3 apex dinosaurs and helping further a medical research on preventing heart diseases… pity is that the island was also one of the lab sites for the original Jurassic Park where they tested hybrid dinos.

It’s kinda telling that they can’t-wont let of the Jurassic World name even when doing such an obvious “soft reboot” that mentions some things from previous Jurassic films but otherwise it’s a pretty straightforward self-contained story that aims to “go back to the basics”, “return to form”….. but actually pulls that off in pretty much regard, managing to get a good sense of adventure, of actual peril going on, alongside solid characters.

Having an actual renowed director and bringing back the screenwriter of Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park II helps too.

There’s nothing new that hasn’t been done before in basically any dinosaur media, but its familiar without feeling dull, and i do like some of the hybrid mutant dinos inhabiting the island.

It’s more than a notable improvement over the enjoyable but basically big budget Asylum affairs that were the previous JW films, undeniable…. but just “not being Jurassic Prey” doesn’t necessarily make Jurassic World Rebirth “good”, even if now for dino film is either this or way too homegrown shit films with a budget of 30 bucks and a ham sandwich.

I did quite like it personally, but it is kinda a curated “best of” that doesn’t adds anything new to the formula, maybe due to overabundant reverence to the source material.

Forbidden Fish Is The Sweetest/ Ningyohime no Gomen ne Gohan AKA The Cannibal Siren [MANGA REVIEW] | Era No Uta

I’d usually go by the official English name of a manga series first, but in this case i’m gonna have to use the localized title publisher JPOP chose for the Italian release, La Sirena Cannibale (The Cannibal Siren), which is actually even better than the original, Ningyohime no Gomen ne Gohan , translating literally to “The Mermaid Princess’ Guilty Meal”, even the latter is more descriptive (and sounds better in Japanese due to the allitteration).

I guess it made more sense given how Italy hugely/almost entirely created and fed the 60s “cannibal boom” in cinema, but i do like it better, sometimes localized titles here can be deceiving, excessively forward (to the point of “spoiling” any surprise effect) or just absurd, but THIS is the kind of “to the point” title that makes sense, so i’m gonna that for the rest of the review.

Written by Hiroshi Noda and illustrated by Takahiro Wakamatsu (also behind Love After World Domination and No Longer Allowed In Another World), The Cannibal Siren is about the mermaid princess Era, who lives happily in the ocean with her fish friends, beloved by all in the undersea kingdom, all is well… until one of her friends get fished out by humans.

She then runs (transforming her fish tail into legs, as mermaids do) to the surface in incognito to pay the final respects, seeing her friend being served by the nearby sushi restaurant, but then, prompted by a patron that jokingly encourages her to eat it – and i quote – “otherwise it won’t go to heaven”, she tries, and finds out she finds it delicious.

Then she begins spiraling out in a cannibalistic frenzy, ready to jump ashore to eat whichever of her subjects is fished out and served on a plate, all on the hush and despite knowing how she is a monster for doing that.

Continua a leggere “Forbidden Fish Is The Sweetest/ Ningyohime no Gomen ne Gohan AKA The Cannibal Siren [MANGA REVIEW] | Era No Uta”

[EXPRESSO] Milarepa (2025) | Sardinia Saint

A very loose retelling of the life of Milarepa, an important figure in Tibetan Buddhism, this 2025 Italian production takes many liberties, not just genderbending Milarepa, but mostly taking place in a post apocalyptic world where humanity regressed to live in mudhuts.

The gist remains the same, as Mila lives a good life, then her father dies, her uncles decide to treat them like slaves. Mila’s eventually racks up enough money to have Mila be taught black magic and avenge them.

She succeeds, but the destruction and guilt grow to a point where Mila decides to set off in a journey to cleanse her karma….

The first issue is that the whole post apocalyptic angle doesn’t really work, it just looks medieval, and the movie it’s just too grounded/realistic to let the fantasy elements take any proper hold, to suspend disbelief and “buy” stuff like no one noticing Mila being obviously a girl.

Plus characterization is spotty, with some really stupid ass characters, and some inconsistent acting that sticks out against the decent work done by a cast sporting recognizable Hollywood actors like Harvey Keitel, F. Murray Abraham, Angela Molina and Franco Nero.

Doesn’t help that the editing often makes things confusing to follow (when the script already doesn’t, that is), and the second part (the “redemption-philosophical-meditative phase”) is kinda hilarious, almost feeling like a parody… while also clearly done in earnest.

I feel kinda bad because the worldbuilding clearly needed a budget that never was, and it almost feels like it’s going for a feminist message… but that too is pretty superficial and half-baked, as pretty much everything here.

It’s a mess, it’s not good, i do respect the honest effort and ambition, the heart is in the right place, it truly is…. but it’s still a huge mess.