The Machine (2013) [REVIEW] | Social Credit Cyborgs

Time for some random sci-fi movie i put in my Amazon Prime Video watchlist months-to-years ago to actually get seen, and the dice chose 2013’s The Machine by director Caradog D. James.

In the future, the United Kindgom is on the verge of war against China over the Taiwan issue, and in an underground military base, a scientist produce a cybernetic implant that allows brain damaged soldiers to regain lost functions, with the first test subjects showing lack of empathy and memory loss, but eventually the research leds to better cyborgs, which loses the ability to speak but develop an even more efficient method of comunication amongst them.

the project might even go one step further when a new researcher, Ava, is brought on board for her work on IA, despite the lab director being wary of her countercultural opinions on the subject, as her talent might lead to finally develop a self-aware and conscious android.

Needless to say, something goes wrong along the way, it’s a sci-fi film about cyborgs and it doesn’t exactly sound original…. like at all.

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[EXPRESSO] Demon Slayer Kimetsu No Yaiba: Infinity Castle (2025) | To Mega Therion

So the first part of the Demon Slayer Infinity Castle film trilogy finale is out, after debutting a couple months ago in Japan, continuining the story from the finale of Season 4, with Muzan countering the Pillars/Hashira assault on him by using his Infinity Castle to trap all them in alongside his legions of demons, especially the strong “Demonic Moon” elite units.

The Pillars and the other members of the Demon Slayer Corps then scatter to find Muzan and finish him, despite the endlessly shifting living labyrinth that defies logic of the castle itself…

Definitely it’s a step up from the compilation films they kept making, and i will say ufotable didn’t skimp on the animation, it does look incredible, properly made to take advantage of its cinematic nature and deliver an incredible, stunning spectacle, and it mostly manages to properly balance the frantic shonen action with some character development and the expected tragic flashbacks for both heroes and villains, some of which were teased

I say mostly because towards the final act the “tragic emotional flashbacks train” kinda overtakes the action and the rhythm suffer, even though i understand why it does so, and simply wouldn’t have felt kinda exhausting if if spaced out in episodes… which it can’t because they have to go through an entire seasons worth of material in 3 movies that each are almost 3 hours long.

On the flipside, it doesn’t feel overburden, there’s a lot going on but it never feels too much, this is supposedto to be the final decisive assault on the enemy’s stronghold and it feels as such, the battles are cool, and Zenitsu also gets some character development that makes him less the one-note annoying comedy character you had to tolerate.

If nothing else, it’s good battle shounen fun.

[EXPRESSO] The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025) | The Warrens

As i guess many did, i approached Conjuring Last Rites with tired obbligation, and i’m sad to say the movie just gave off that very same vibe in return.

Yes, i basically gave up expecting much from the series after the spinoffs and James Wan not directing anymore, but this is the final installment of the Conjuring series (and its cinematic universe, for spoiler heavy reasons), i do expect a better baseline of quality for these.

So this feels like an extra disappointing and limp finale, but first plot.

Final Rites goes back to chronicle the Warren’s last case, about an entity haunting the Smurl family in Pennsylvania, 5 years after they basically retired to do university work and live a normal middle aged life with their young adult daughter, whom also seems to share her mother’s ability to sense spirits…

While the series is mostly focused on the characters more than gore or blood, Final Rites takes it way too far as the Warren’s plotline is an overly long soap opera-ish slice of life mostly detached from the Smurl haunting, with the movie taking forever to become what you wanted to begin with, and when it finally does its incredibly underwhelming.

To say nothing of the final reveal that tethers between making some sense and being a cheap, stupid, frustrating arsepull because they couldn’t think of anything else, maybe.

I honestly personally enjoyed it even less than The Nun 2 (still more than La Llorona), the only reasons this one doesn’t score lower is because of the great performances by the cast, (especially by Farmiga and Wilson as the Warrens), the residual characterization work and the fact there’s a sense of finality to it.

Even though i do hope this is the actually the end for mainline Conjuring films.

Mario Kart World NSWITCH 2 [REVIEW] | Open Kart Policy

So, yep, this review is a bit late, but given there was no communicated immediate plans for their “content roadmap”, i feel what i have to say now would have applied at launch and might apply despite future updates, but we’ll see about that, though i don’t plan to update the review as they add stuff either as part of DLC expansions or free software updates.

I mean, i also didn’t plan to keep reviewing Pirate Warriors 4 DLC as i did, so time will tell, but as of now they haven’t hinted or said anything about what they plan to do with the title in the future, so here we go.

That said, i did play a good chunk of the game at launch, then i came back after DK Bananza to dig into the “open world-free roam” mode, play some online matches occasionally, and trying to have the RNG grant me the other hidden characters like mah boi Fish Bone.

[EXPRESSO] Caught Stealing (2025) | Idles Hands

There some irony in a title like that for a filmmaker that already borrowed heavily from other, better directors, but i can’t deny i do like Arofonosky movies (The Whale was great), and i was surprised to see this new one, Caught Stealing, kinda sneak by into theathers.

So instead of taking “cues” from Satoshi Kon this time it goes for a more popular type of cinema, a crime caper set in New York, a 90s NY of people that can barely make rent but will proclaim their love for the San Francisco Giants, as it’s all framed with the titular baseball slang term i had to look up, as the protagonist, Hank, is a generally decent normal guy that could have been a baseball star if a car crash didn’t nip that in the bud.

Hanks calls his mother daily, has a semi-relationship with a nurse, and wants nothing to do with crime, but after accepting to take care of his punk neighbor’s cat while he’s away, he ends up unadvertly dragged into the seedy criminal underbelly due to some very bad luck and a series of absurd circumstances.

This time it feels like Arofonosky wanted to do a Cohen Brothers style crime caper (thought it’s based on a novel of the same name by Charlie Huston) while also retaining his usual style…. and it doesn’t really work until the last act, trying to be unpredictable and marrying very gritty violence with almost slapstick style comedy, coming off as kind of confused than anything, with its various ideas and tones having spent most of the movie fighting each other they do click the end, a little too late.

Terrific performances (especially by the supporting cast) help one wanting to see it through, and it’s not bad…. just kinda baffling.

Cyber Lip (Arcade Archives Neo Geo) NSWITCHDDL | Insain In The Main Brain

Before SNK dedicated itself to make a LOT of fighting games (with a lot of classics, admittely), their output included also action platformers, and run n gun, even before hitting the jackpot with their beloved Metal Slug series, which i’m a really tempted to do a retrospective on… again, since clearly modern SNK it’s more interested in F2P titles that often reuse a lot of assets from the golden age of the series.

So to quench my thirst i searched my Arcade Archives library on the ol’ Switch for some similar Neo Geo run n gun goodness… and noticed i had but didn’t actually play Cyber Lip yet.

It’s referred to as a Metal Slug “clone”, which is incorrect but there’s some truth to it, since Metal Slug itself was fashioned after Contra, so it makes sense a SNK pre-Metal Slug game in that vein does play like Contra, down to the latching into poles on ceilings and stuff, with a boss being a shameless rip-off, but i guess its fine since Contra Shattered Soldier later had a “giant eyed boss” you fight by hanging on a pipe like the one you fight here.

Poetry, indeed.

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[EXPRESSO] Dangerous Animals (2025) | Three On A Sharkhook

New shark movie with a big budget, a widespread cinematic release and it’s not a Jason Staham trashfest romp, another gonzo shark movie about an Esper Shark (TM) or something done with lunch money-allowance budget?

What has the gone world to?

Apparantly something good and conceptually simple, i guess that’s why it took so long for someone to make a good shark movie that also plays the “Uno reverse” card on the concept without overcomplicating it or being outlandish.

Meaning that Dangerous Animals is about a serial killer that hides his murderous calling by posing as a shark cage experience activity for tourist in Australia (which fittingly all good modern shark movies seem to hail from), killing people and filming as he feeds them to the sharks.

His next victim is a surfer girl, Zephyr, living a nomadic sort of lifestyle, whom finds herself kidnapped by the killer in preparation for his macabre rituals…

it’s so simple that a shark movie like this hasn’t been made before, but on the flipside it’s actually pretty good, thanks to a good budget, very solid acting and good characters, with a resilient leading lady/final girl and a good psychotic villain that does have a humourous side that actually makes him more believable as he use it alongside some charm to better camouflage his true self, without going overboard and making him feel cartoony or excessive.

It’s also pretty gory without going into full splatter territory, going for a more realistic tone to the chases and attempts of his victims to escape his grasp, making for a very tense film that is less predictable than one would expect, yet very satisfying even when it hits the expected notes, one also basically devoid of filler, exactly as long as it needs.

Pretty good.

[EXPRESSO] Locked (2025) | Small Theft Auto

Locked has a simple, yet fairly intriguing hook: a small time thief desperate for cash one day finds a strangely unlocked high-tech smartcar (like a Tesla that doesn’t randomly burst into fire) to loot it, but once in he then realizes he’s locked into the vehicle, and gets contacted by the owner, whom remotely controls everything in the car, making it act as a trap for whoever tried to steal it.

The guy then has to survive locked inside, while the unseen owner keeps torturing him, playing mind games and keeping the complex trap scenario of his own design going…

Sadly for Locked, this is the kind of script with a decent-good idea/concept…. but ultimately doesn’t really know what to do with it outside of slightly escalating the tortures, and boiling the explanation for this cruel trap to basically the same “eat the rich” surface level class warfare bit A24 movies have done to death recently, just done in a more utilitarian and even more shallow fashion, with the car owner (Anthony Hopkins) also written as being completely callous, a straight up empathy-free psycho, for better or worse.

It’s also not tense enough to make you question for real if escape is even possible to begin with, which is an issue (as is the unsatisfying ending) but i will say it’s not boring, even though it’s a film carried entirely by Bill Skarksgard’s performance as the low tier criminal that is forced by circumstance to thieve and such in order to care for his family, and if Hopkins kinda phones it in (literally for most of the film), he seems to be having fun with such a stock Jigsaw wannabe, which does help.

Overall, Locked feels middling, not bad but makes one wonder for the movie that could have been.

P.S.: This also is another foreign remake of a 2019 Argentinian movie called 4X4 (which has now has been remade thrice), itself having a similar premise to a 1998 direct-to-video film named Captured.

Platformation Time Again: Bubsy Has Somehow Returned… AGAIN

I was writing this post just to make clear i WILL tackle the entire Bubsy series now that LRG has given a release date, September 7, so pretty soon, and i will eventually (waiting for a sale) get it on Steam since i already have there the 2 new ones they did back in 2018 or something like that (there was a rerelease of Bubsy 1 and 2 on Steam already, Bubsy Two-Fur, but it wasn’t quite legal and nothing more than an SNES emulator using ROMs that anyone already could run, i forgot the details)….

and then some days ago Atari drops the trailer for Bubsy 4D.

We ain’t getting Crash Bandicoot 5 or a new Spyro, but we are getting a new full 3D platformer with Bubsy, now basically a 30 going 40 dude that wants to relate to the kids and to stay positive despite still having PSTD from Bubsy 3D…. so already an improvement over being an annoying teenage edgelord personality-wise, and the game looks honestly decent, might even be the first good Bubsy game ever made.

So, i’m gonna clutch my pearls and wring them in hope of a Jumping Flash collection, why not?

Though with my usual luck we would get a Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino’s Butt remaster instead.

Regardless, look for an eventual full coverage of Bubsy… sometime in the future.

[EXPRESSO] War Of The Worlds (2025) | Redditors VS Aliens

Yep, we doing this one.

The plot sees a Homeland Security officer, Will Radford (Ice Cube) at work being “benign Big Brother” for the government (while also monitoring his family, to their dismay), when a meteorite shower reveals to be a worlwide attack by alien machines, forcing Will to do what he can to save his family and help fight back the invaders however he can.

On paper it’s not necessarily a bad idea to make a modern War of The World remake focusing on the aliens taking over data infrastructures in the surveillance state internet reliant reality where everyone’s on their phones, playing up the “government conspiracy” angle… and proposing it as a screenlife thing, like a sci-fi Unfriended.

Yeah, that already sets off more bells than a Blue Oyster Cult comment section, and makes it abundantly obvious this was shot during the 2020 Covid pandemic, with Amazon sitting on it for 5 years before they remembered, “bothered” to do post-production and made it available on their streaming service.

They knew they were sitting on a turd, one so riddled with brazens self-promotion it’s comical (the climax of the movie involves an Amazon drone helping save the day), not that the movie actually decides if it’s against or pro “Big Tech”, and while Ice Cube’s acting is bad, it’s not like he has much to work with, the entire thing is so fuckin stupid and becomes even stupider, and a cinically rushed shitshow with plenty of IA generated news segments (and stock footage that looks bad enough to be IA generated slop too), on top of very shitty special effects.

And yet it’s so fiercely bad it does actually become one of the rare modern “so bad it’s good” movies, it has that kind of entertaiment quality to it.