Veteran Of The PSN Wars + The August Shakedown

Almost as a divine punishmen (or a reality check), 4 days ago the entire PSN infrastructure went down for an entire day, while Sony is still standing by their decision to abandon physical moving forward, and despite a remarkable backlash that hopefully will keep going, because it should be going and make the company reverse course.

Because, let’s be real, even Microsoft initially said that the X-Box One had to be online only (or how Kinect was gonna be mandatory for it), i remember them telling people off to “go buy a 360 instead, you peasants… and it all had to be walked back when it became both unpopolar and unappealing to customers.

This isn’t fuckin holy text, it’s business, and while i still wish people used half of this outrage for more pressing political issues instead of letting apathy steer us into an Orwellian novel, i’m not here to go on that soapbox… or so i would say if they didn’t immediatly made the gesture pointless by telling it has an expiry date, in a week they’re gonna stop.

As i said before, sadly “gamer boycotts” is a joke in itself for a reason.

I’m not here to tell you what i was obviously gonna think about the issue (of course i was gonna say this situation it’s shit, it’s beyond just “shit”, it’s far worse), i’m here to go full Abe Simpson, sit by the lemon tree and just think back to 2011, when the Playstation Network was hacked and Sony gave everyone a couple of free games.

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[EXPRESSO] The Odyssey (2026) | Our 1UP Man

I will say that there are legitimate criticism to be made about this new Nolan adaptation of the greek epic, especially those about historical accuracy, in a movie that opts for a realistic war movie-ish tone…. but on the other hand, what did people expect when Anne Hathaway is Penelope and one of the first thing we saw about the film were those superhero style armors?

Since it not even a 3 hours long film, it doesn’t opt for a complete retelling, but in line with Nolan’s style, the whole thing is framed as “ memory box/machine” for Odysseus to unravel as he wakes up from 7 years of oblivion (as the lotus flowers he was fed make people forget) on Calypso’s island, this after ending the 8 year longs Trojan War via his wooden horse ploy, and had many adventures on his attempt to reach his home island of Ithaka.

There his wife, Penelope, has held off contenders to the throne for 20 years via a scheme, and his son, Telemachus, that still believes his father is alive, goes searching for him, while Odysseus himself comes home posing as a vagrant, only to prove his identity and slaughter the disrespectful contenders that leeched off his hospitality.

It does most of the expected stories of the epic, while taking various liberties (especially in the Polyphemus encounter) and arguably omitting a lot, but i’ll say that despite some flaws (the superhero style armours, trying to frame the Greek morality in a certain way, the Hollywood casting), Nolan’s The Odyssey does live up to expectations, delivering a powerful rendition of the poem in a way that calling “epic” does actually seem fit, it has that gravitas and majesty of the old Hollywood, it’s arguably one of Nolan’s best in a while too.

Snakes On A Train (2006) [REVIEW] | Poco-loco-motion

Since we took the opportunity to review Snakes On A Plane some time ago for the movie 20^th anniversary and the 4K UHD Bluray rerelease by Arrow Video meant to celebrate that, i guess it’s inevitable we cover the mockbuster version the Asylum cooked up the same year, as in, Snakes On A Train.

I mean, why not, i got the UK DVD release for peanuts years ago, might as well.

As with most of their mockbusters, the plot is legally distinct from the movie whose cottails they’re riding on, and just shares the same idea/copies the same gimmick, this time a public transport vehicle being filled with killer snakes, a train in this occasion as it’s cheaper to shoot.

In a way, this should have been a really fuckin easy one.

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[EXPRESSO] Kensuke’s Kingdom (2023) | Island Survival Of Age

While i wasn’t able to see the French animated film Arco, i was able to see this one, Kensuke’s Kingdom, which actually debutted at Annecy 3 years ago, but just now is in theathers here.

Better late than never, i guess.

Based on a children novel of the same name by Michael Molpurgo, Kensuke’s Kingdom is the story of Michael, whom is travelling with his family in a worlwide sailing trip, when he and his dog Stella (sneaked aboard by the boy) fall overboard during a storm, only to find themselves swept into an isolated island in the Pacific Ocean, which turns out to be inhabited by Kensuke, a WWII japanese struggler from Nagasaki….

I’ll be honest, i decided to see this mostly because i felt like spotting a unicorn when i saw the trailer for a modern animated film actually done in 2D animation that isn’t spun from some popular battle shonen manga, and indeed the 2D animation is as gorgeous as it looks, expecially the backgrounds are amazing, though i find it funny that this also shares an island survival theme with that Ghibli coproduced French-Belgian film from 2016, The Red Turtle.

Most likely a coincidence since this one takes more stylistical clues from French-Belgian comics and it’s more a family film, down to being a fairly typical coming of age story at heart, complete with the boy and his dog, but it’s done fairly well, because you end up caring for the characters, and the themes of friendship and caring for nature don’t feel preachy because the movie also doesn’t shy away from darker scenes to balance things out, and it doesn’t gloss over Kensuke’s backstory and what it obviously entails.

Overall a familiar but well done coming of age story that’s moving AND sports amazing visuals.

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2

As i said in the review of the first Slap Them All, they quickly made a follow up game 2 years later (as in 2022 Mr. Nutz Studio released that awful Joe & Mac port-remake), simply titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Em All! 2, and while i was planning to review this next year… by coincidence i ended up playing it and finishing it far earlier than planned, so

Sure, that will leave Mission Babylon as the only new Asterix & Obelix game by Microids to review next year, but whatever,

This time around the plot is original, and concerns the theft of an important Roman insigna, the Aquila (literally “Eagle”, a golden eagle insigna), which is blamed on Lutetian friends of the Gaul duo, and so Asterix & Obelix venture to find out who actually stole the Aquila and why, before they execute the entire Lutetian village as retribution, so important is the Aquila in political leverage terms for the Roman Empire than losing it is seen as a great public shame for the reigning emperor.

It’s not a bad plot, it’s fine, and at least it’s not just Ceasar once again throwing a scheme to finally conquer those pesky Gaul villagers.

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[EXPRESSO] Primavera (2025) | Stabat Mater

Based on the novel Stabat Mater by Tiziano Scarpa, Primavera (lit. Spring) brings up back to early 18^th centhury Venice, where the protagonist, Cecilia, is raised as an orphan taken into the convent-orphanage-music school istititution Pio Ospedale Della Pietà, alongside many other young girls given in custody of the orphanage or simply abandoned there.

Cecilia, now 20 yo, has been living there since infancy, writes letters for her unknown mother, and performs alongside the other girls, trained as orchestra ensembles for the pleasure of wealthy benefactors, but Cecilia love for music is doomed since she’s already been given into marriage to a general, in exchange for generous donations to the convent-orphanage.

Then an aging and ill Antonio Vivaldi comes back to teach at the Ospedale Della Pietà, and he notices Cecilia’s talent, wants to nurture it, in spite of her knowing her musical “career” will end once the Venetian-Ottoman Wars conclude and her promised groom comes back to marry her.

An Italian-French co-production, Primavera is a stark period piece tale of female liberation in a place where religious values come optional to currying favor with the elites in exchange for money, be it in providing brides to nobilmen, compete in audience with other religious-philantrophic, the girls are nothing more than bargaining chips, trained prisoners bound to be sold off one way or another, a film willing to confront the facts that “art” itself can’t magically save, redeem or bend reality’s injustices, yet because of that is also a necessity.

All sustained by terrific acting, and while some might be let down by the fact Vivaldi isn’t the protagonist…. this isn’t his story, is Cecilia’s, and after all, the film doesn’t sugarcoat how Vivaldi himself was treated like shit in life and became famous only a centhury after his death.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Nuremberg (2025) | Nazi Turnabout

A historical court drama about the behind the scenes of the Nuremberg trails, where the surving architects of the Nazi regime are put on trial for crimes against humanity for the Holocaust.

An army psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley (Rami Malek), is tasked with looking after the mental well being of Hermann Goering (Russell Crowe), Hitler’s second in command, alongside the other surviving Nazi hierarchs, while the Allies investigates and discuss why this trial should be even done in the first place.

Kelley, also hoping to write a book about the vents (and in turn maybe understand the psychological proceeding that led the Nazis to previously unseen amount of efficient evil), forms a bond with Goering…

While one might argue this comes at the right time, when we’re seeing history on the verge of repeating again (for the worse), one might say it’s a bit too little and that maybe, given the current geopolitical state, we should have skipped the trial, but this just isn’t that kind of film.

This is an old fashion history drama that’s fairly unpretentious and uninterested in being artsy or provocative, as it mostly wants to educate people while entertaining them, and basically exists as a vehicle for actors to try and get an Oscar out of it.

Not necessarily “bad bait” when it gives us a really outstanding performance by Crowe as the charimastic yet subtly manipulative Goering, as he and Kelley have this “Hannibal-Lecter-Graham” style relationship going on, though Malek’s performance (while not necessarily bad) just isn’t as good as Crowe’s, and oddly the sequences at the stand are kinda brief, despite the build up to them.

That said, it also goes by swimmingly, despite it’s 2 hours and 40 minutes runtime, so it’s good, even if old fashioned, but not necessarily lesser for it.

Final Verdict: Expresso

[EXPRESSO] Troll 2 (2025) | Altercation Of The Gargantuas

No, not THAT Troll 2, this is the recently released sequel to the Norwegian 2022 film “Troll” esclusive for Netflix.

Memories of Fragasso’s tale of non-trolls and faux-Orson Welles ghost grandpas aside, the plot of this Troll 2 sees the government call back the main protagonists of the first movie, Nora, the troll expert, Andreas, working for the prime minister, and soldier Kristopher, as another giant troll is awaken, and trying to find a solution will have them end up investigating the history of Norway’s christianization, finding a peaceful troll to befriend and help them in stopping the other one.

The first one was decent, this is honestly just a mediocre affair that hasn’t enough of either drama or comedy to sustain itself, so it feels kinda meandering to and fro’ action scenes of the trolls fighting each other, and even by giant monster movie standards, these are way too brief to be satisfying, despite the solid effects for the creatures.

There are subplots and characterizations stubs that ultimately amount to very little as the movie doesn’t develop really anything proper, even with the plot taking an adventure, Indiana Jones-esque bend, it’s all just kinda thrown in there, with too much of the movie spent of re-establishing characters and clumsily giving everyone some emotional baggage; honestly it feels incredibly rushed in every regard, and it’s hard to feel any conflict as not even the actors feel that invested in the stock roles they’re given.

It doesn’t feel like a sequel that took 3 years-ish to make, even just a couple of decades ago this would have been cranked out the very next year (tops) after the original dropped.

While teasing a sequel that might be better, this Troll 2 is simply too generic, cliched and unfocused to rise above mediocrity.

[EXPRESSO] The Smashing Machine (2025) | Pet Rock

There is some hilarity in an A24 distributed sports drama starring Dwayne Johnson, not because he has hair this time (which is kinda absurd to see anyway), but since it’s an obvious attempt by the beloved wrestler-turned-actor to go for that Oscar cheddar, with a biopic directed by Benny Safdie (Good Time, Uncut Gems), costarring alongside Emily Blunt and playing a figure that Johnson would effortlessy seen as a reflection of his past career, in this case UFC fighter Mark Kerr.

That said, it does mean we get to see Johnson try more and go beyond the same persona he has kept for his film carreer, despite this being a very calcuted risk, but one i’d say pays off, as this biopic depicts Kerr’s rise to the higher ranks in the early days of MMA fighting, him struggling with his drug addiction, his obsession for victory and his troubled relationship with his girlfriend, as his first loss during the Japanese league send his world crashing down.

Structurally there’s nothing you haven’t seen before in a sports drama film, especially about combat sports, but it does retell Kerr story in a satisfying way, it doesn’t hold back but also makes a solid argument on how victory isn’t everything, or more specifically, that losing isn’t everything either, it just something bound to happen eventually, if it happens it’s fine.

I have to point out that apparently a lot of the film is more or less lifted (as in, even camera angles) from a documentary of the same name made back in 2002 apparently since i saw it mentioned but can’t say i’ve even heard of (or seen) that one before, and that seems to be case for most people, but even so i’d say The Smashing Machine is a good sports drama.

The Spooktacular Eight #31: Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

As an Italian, it always tickled me silly how back in the late 2000s EA’s idea for competiting with Sony’s God Of War franchise was to pillage The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and basically transform it into a power fantasy action game about saving a damsel in distress, which happens to be done by traversing Hell as described by the Tuscanian poet.

I guess because it was a well known public domain literary work that would also work as a quick and dirty band-aid to feign some refinement, and to be honest everyone was jumping on the hack n slash action game bandwagon at the time, so of course EA would have tried their hands at it.

Still feels fuckin random because they could just have made a Roman Empire themed hack n slash, but i guess they couldn’t push a marketing campaign literally encouraging to “go to hell” and the “sin to win” marketing shizzle.

I’m not even offended because this is so fuckin american it’s hilarious, i mean, sure, it’s based on Alighieri’s first book of The Divine Comedy as in it has the concept of venturing through Hell, it has a guy named Dante, a gal named Beatrice, and The Devil(TM) sure, it’s the same thing.

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