So (not so) few words about Donkey Kong Country Returns HD

Planned to do this earlier but i got carried away and basically i’ve almost finished the game (most likely i’ve already did by the time this gets out), but i’m gonna chime in now, as there’s no planned full lenght review for this release of Donkey Kong Country Returns.. not a regular one, i’m preparing a full on Platformation Time Again piece but i would love to revisit at least the original SNES DKC trilogy before on that rubric (we can cover the Donkey Kong Land subseries later).

So here we go.

First, i’m glad we’re finally having a version of Donkey Kong Country Returns freed of the fuckin mandatory motion controls and not stuck on 3DS, as make no mistake, DKC Returns was and still is an amazing platformer and a worthy heir of DKC heritage/legacy, surpassed only by its sequel, Tropical Freeze, so damn good it almost make me ok with Retro not making a third one.

Also because, motion controls being optional this time around, the game is the same in terms of content (while incorporating the extra levels made for the 3DS port)…and the port mostly is ok.

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Turron

Still waiting on that ENA Dream BBQ in 2025.

Regardless, happy new year!

Ye Old Remaster Wsihslsti (for Saint Nick)

A bonus round, meant for the previous “draught”, but it still isn’t Christmas, as Mr. Wright would point out, so enjoy!

Since the industry is experiencing the inevitable resource creep and is eventually forced right now to reap what they sow, as the new consoles “have no games” because mainstream big budget videogames have pigeonholed themselves into a situation where is too expensive and takes too long to even make one of these (emulating the big budget cinema industry they wanted so much to be to a tee), remasters have been the way too go.

Old crap with new paint or fixes to the rope itself takes still less than making a new game from scratch, is easy as you can cater to the evergrowing nostalgia market (due to the gaming populace aging because natural entropy is a thing and your flesh will fail you, eventually) longing for ages long gone, be it the Atari early days or the mascote platformer craze of the 90s, you can safely bet on an already established name, and the market is big enough that even obscure shit like Felix The Cat videogames of yore and Bubsy can get a collection with improvements, quality of feature, and shady publishers like Piko Interactive can publish in 2022 (on Steam at the moment, with console releases coming) a somehow buggier, worse looking version of Glover than when it launched on Nintendo 64. In 1998.

Be it collections of enhanced ports or remasters that just update the graphical side of things, the public craves and buys these for a variety of reasons, publishers are more than happy as it cheaper all together, so in the spirit of the time i will be dotting down my own wishlist of remasters/ports/re-releases that i would like to see.

Order is casual, btw.

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Dynasty Warriors Origins [DEMO] [HANDS-ON] STEAM

I didn’t promise a hands-on first impressions on the demo of the newest Dynasty Warriors game, Dynasty Warriors Origins, because i don’t have a next gen console, and usually i play my musou games like that, but i figured out, there’s a Steam demo as well, maybe my relatively ancient rig can run it fine… and it did, actually surprised me that it’s good enough to run it decently.

So here it my opinions on the demo of Dynasty Warriors Origins, which lets you play one of the classic bouts of the series, The Battle Of Sishui Gate, where the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalitation attacks united and you also get to meet the demon in red, the mightiest among men, the one you do not pursue: Lu Bu.

So, in case you didn’t follow or knew of this new Dynasty Warriors game, the gist is that you play as a lone Wanderer, a skilled yet aimless martial artist that gets involved into the turbolent battles and political machinations of the characters from Romance Of The Three Kingdoms, so you can basically decide around a bit, and interact and fight alongside the many characters fans of the novel and Koei series have learned to know, love and hate.

It’s not quite an OC or a CAW character similar to how you had a self-insert protagonist in the Samurai Warriors Chronicles games, as the Wanderer is a precisely designed character and so you can’t change much about his looks (nor you can choose for a female option, as far as i remember), not that it matters for the portion of game given by the demo.

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Summer Of EDF: Checking In, Metal Slug Tactics and the Promise Of Deer

Just a quick post to inform you i plan to have an EXPRESSO review of EDF 6 somewhere in late July/early August (the game comes out westward July 19th), i’m finalizing my thoughts on the Metal Slug Tactics demo that was made available on Steam, and also that i’m aware of that “girl deer hybrid” anime that has spread the brainrot meme animedance of the moment, i’m actually gonna cover it, if nothing else because the marketing team did a bang up job at making it a viral sensation months ahead of its actual broadcast.

And it might actually live up to the Nichijou vibes it gives off.

I also have an announcement for August… but i’ll reveal it later in July, maybe mid-July.

Cupid Down (With The Sickness TM)

Today i was supposed to have out the review for the Vlad Love anime series, but i haven’t been feeling well, i had some serious sleep deprivation shit to undo after a string of master degree-tier exams, so yep, that review is coming later (SEO juice be damned), there are some EXPRESSO reviews coming up (one later today) as i catch up as i can to the cinematic releases here.

We gotta talk about Palworld

I remember writing a quick piece when this one was presented back in 2021, laughing it off as i thing that would be shot down by Nintendo’ lawyers.

Obviously that didn’t happen (and never will, i would assume), and since it has sold 5 million copies in the span of DAYS after releasing in Early Access this 19th of January, the company behind it being shady con merchants and the fact people are actually defending a game with “bootleg Electabuzz Totoro with gatling gun” is amazing… look, we need to talk about this.

(this is not a review, FIY, just putting this out there early)

Leaving aside the fact most likely this game doesn’t use generative AI for the “‘mons”, they look just rip-offs – sometimes literally as you can some really obvious bits of both official Pokemon designs and even fandesigns – done the ye old fashion way, and the sociopathic premise of “you can kill, cook and enslave your non-Pokemon pals” (even more sociopathical how you can catch human NPCs,) to what seems like a very basic survival and crafting game that defines the “early” in Early Access title.

One that also looks very “asset flippy” as it literal looks they recycled assets from their earlier title, Craftopia, which itself tries to ape BOTW and even “borrows” enemy designs, which already tells you these people don’t give a fuck. Just don’t, and knew exactly how to use the “we pokedo what Nintendon’t” controversial energy to get every publication to talk about it.

That much they did and played it right, because i talked about it back then, and in the time between i wrote this thing it and posted, it sold 3 more million copies for a total of 8 millions, but oddly this isn’t so much about money, per se.

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Salutations!

You’ve made it to 2024, and hopefully we will be able to see and play Ena: Dream BBQ when it releases, really look forward to that.

And maybe to have all Disgaea titles ported to PS4 and PS5 in their “Complete/Complete +” edition, come on NIS, re-release Disgaea D2, cowards.

(Again, for clarifications, this is not a sponsorship or anything, i just fuckin love the ENA series by Joel Guerra, just big fan, even bought two of the ENA plushies to help them fund the game).

Happy new year!

Open Letter to Dino-Santa

hello Santa, it’s me, again.

“Again” to a certain extent, i haven’t written a letter to Santa since decades, so i’ll be brief and quick, he has to bring coal to Darkseid each year, and i have this year’s 12 Days Of Dino Dicember starting tomorrow.

I have been a reasonable boy this year, so henceforth i ask the following petty and first world requests:

-a new, proper 2D run and gun Metal Slug videogame that isn’t a mobile gacha spin-off or remake tied to a mobile platform stuffed with microtransactions up to tank’s exhaust, i love turn based tactical strategy games and Metal Slug Tactics is looking mighty good, but it’s still not got even a vague release date and updates are still MIA, so yeah, the new SNK could actually employ a studio to develop a proper console/pc mainline Metal Slug game. It’s been a while, more than enough to create demand.

Otherwise, i would settle for an actual outside of arcades releases of Dolphin Blue.

-Please do not let the new One Piece anime remake/series redo by Wit Studio be using AI art to avoid paying people the meager anime industry salaries, i don’t care if Oda is fascinated, i just hope he grows out of it, alongside the rehabiliting of his colleagues and teachers that did not deserve such a thing, since we’re asking.

we can’t be perfect, but we can avoid falling for every cheap ass scam that goes around.

-Speaking of which, can we reroll this economic system to one where i can afford a house and can actually retire instead of dying on the job?

Also, a new Gundam Musou would be very welcome.

That will do.

Regards.

The Cinema Show Experience Debate Cycle (2nd Round)

Told you we’re gonna do this dance again, and i feel now it’s the time to address some of the issues left unchallenged and unchanged, as anyone with any foresight could have told you before.

I guess the catalyst for new lamentations is the new blockbuster releases mostly doing very bad, regardless of quality or marketing employed, as even movies coming from recognizable and renowed studios and carrying recognized names and brands come out to basically big box office woes most of the time, in what most people have accetted as a “post-Covid 19” world, even in countries where it’s still far from over because reality and consequences and such.

Because i’m a dumbass, instead of making a thumbnail with a load of nonsensical buzzwords on it for a “video essay” (really, words mean nothing anymore to a certain subset of creatures) that’s somehow longer than the movie it discuss… i’m gonna say it’s obvious this wanna gonna happen.

Even if we collectively agreed to pretend the pandemic is over everywhere and forever, even pretending and disgarding the argument/issue as a thing of the past, this newly found “box office bombagery” should really not surprise anyone that has been to theathers more than once in recent years.

To avoid repeating what i said before, i’m just gonna link the previous editorial so you can check that out instead. Consider this an addendum more than a “follow up”.

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