Categoria: Drama

Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark

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Didn’t plan to review this, but suddendly i saw “this film will be unavailable the 31 of august”. Thanks, Amazon Prime Video, wanna remove first some garbage that probably isn’t even really licensed so much as “uploaded” by random persons? No? Thank you.

So anyway, Open Water, the first one of the not-series, as there are two more, but there’s no story continuity, and the second one often isn’t even titled as a sequel, which is fairly common for these realm of horror thriller about killer animals… or killer anything, to be even more honest, and pretty any distribution company “has” to have it’s own shark series with movies that just add numbers at the end of titles and share the same overall concept or premise.This is Lionsgate’s. Continua a leggere “Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark”

[EXPRESSO] Siberia (2020) | LSD: Dream Dafoe Emulator

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Abel Ferrara’s last movie, a German-Italian-Mexican co-production…it’s definitely a movie. That you can watch in theather right now (at least in Italy)… i wouldn’t exactly recommend it.

Siberia, to be fair, at heart it’s an Abel Ferrara movie, focusing on sinners and outcasts searching – with futile attempts – for some redemption. Here we have Clint (William Dafoe), going out into the siberian tundra and embarking on a dreamlike quest to confront his own subconscious and past in a non-cronological narrative.

Problem is, while none of really complicated (or cryptic), the movie feels the need to constantly stop itself to basically overexplain the internal conflicts of the character out loud, or have scenes that feel weird for the sake of it (in hindsight, a power drill killing scene could have happened), or made downright pointless in the long run.

Even when it’s fairly clear what’s going on, even if you “get it”, you will still want to ask what the point of that was, more…annoyed than actually confused by the imagery and some really random exchanges that don’t really connect to anything. It doesn’t help that – for whatever reason – in the italian theatherical version William Dafoe clearly isn’t dubbed, so he speaks in italian with such a BAD, laughable german-russian accent it’s literally impossible to take anything he says with any degree of seriousness.

This isn’t a nitpick, i fully mean it.

I’ll say this: it isn’t boring or predictable, but i found myself more asking if it’s really just a 90 minutes movie, not really intrigued by most of the events and what they say about Clint, nor really that curious to see where exactly the narrative is going.
Fitting end, i must admit.

I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that (at all), but i didn’t like it.

americano-icona

[EXPRESSO] Gretel And Hansel (2020) | Coming Of Mage

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With this one i didn’t check any of the “discourse” or reviews from the american press beforehand, i just guessed it was a retelling of the Brothers Grimm’ fairytale focusing on Gretel’s viewpoint, and it’s not as gratuitous as it may seem at a glance, since Gretel is indeed the one to figure out the witch’s plan and ultimately kill the cannibal old hexe.

While many aspects of the story are changed or done away with as with the abandoning routine (among other things, but i’ll keep it spoiler free), the focal points are mostly kept, so we see the two siblings wandering in the woods in search of food and shelter, stumbing upon a house where a kind old woman treats the two to delicious banquets, gives them a place to stay at, and teaches them how to chop wood, how to treat illness, etc. Especially to Gretel, which might have the same epiphany as Ichigo Kurosaki…

It’s a horror retelling that leans even more into the supernatural elements, as to further enhance the absolute misery of medieval poverty, of sickness and dirt, and centers on Gretel mostly, basically turning the fable into a coming of age story, with magic, axes, great photography, amazing atmosphere, pretty good character and great acting. And as it’s the usual, any theme of feminist empowerment is made better by baskets of guts, with some grisly imagery that’s not overused.

The bigger issue would be the pacing…. i guess, Oz Perkin’s take on this fairytale it’s not a fast moving one, but it’s not that slow as other people seem to think it is, it’s exactly as long and fittingly paced as it needs to be, i feel. Then again, i saw people arguing this “actually” isn’t a horror movie (yes, yet again), so…..

expresso-icona

[EXPRESSO] Onward (2020) | Dad Quest

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Yeah, due to the COVID-19 lockdown, this was delayed… until theathers reopened yesterday in Italy, pretty much. For U.S. moviegoers, this will old hat, as the movie debutted there in march, but eh, what you gonna do?

After the fun but kinda pointless rethread of Toy Story 4, Pixar here treats us to a story about two brothers in a quest for an artifact to make their deceased father exist – completely, that is – for one more day, all set in a fantasy suburbia world of elfs, cyclops, goblins, station wagons, smarthphones and convenience stores, as technology advanced and made magic basically obselete over the millennia. Yes, still a better modernized fantasy world than Bright, let’s just get that out right away.

And there’s a token minor LGBT character (a cyclops cop), so token it’s made so by a single line, not bad or offensive, the character isn’t completely pointless to the plot, to be fair, it’s just….yeah, nothing to really brag about, given it’s ancillary status, but Pixar needed some social media icons for Pride Month, so…

That aside, it’s good mix of family drama and road movie, with some fun characters design, likeable characters (even if it’s another tale of getting over feelings of inadequacies, this time exploring brothers and fathers relationship), funny spins on fantasy and GDR clichès leading to some pretty good visual jokes, pacing is perfect, the moral becomes obvious but still feels earned (and the lesson at the end actually gels together with the themes), there’s even some action with swords and dragons and stuff.

Definitely a step up from Toy Story 4, and better than one would reasonably expect from Dan Scanlon, who previously directed that Cars supernatural-ish spin-off short…. and Monster University (the only review i still regret writing). Good one.

expresso-icona

Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?

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Yeah, not a clear edit. Good lord, at least have matching fonts. 

This is actually Spring Break Shark Attack, but sold on home video as Dangerous Water Shark Attack, like in the UK DVD version, which also sports a cover trying to imply a more grim tone to the titular shark attack, totally trojan horsing to the shark movie aficionados a movie with such a generic name, making them think this is The Reef.

Really, even Jersey Shore Shark Attack had more to it, even if it was due to mixing together (and unofficially) two different – yet perfectly compatibile – flavours of trash, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and one that must have required very little brainstorming. Shark movie. Spring break. Teens played by “not quite teen” actors. Bikinis. Send tweet. Send script. Print. Beautiful. Continua a leggere “Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?”

One Piece: Strong World (Episode 0) OVA (2010) [REVIEW]

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Director: Naoyuki Itō
Writer: Hitoshi Tanaka

Strong World is arguably one of the better One Piece movies, in no small part thanks to the not small involvement of Eiichiro Oda himself, who wrote the script for it, and definitely a huge step up after two previous theathrical releases that were just adbridged recaps/retelling of canon story arcs (especially in the case of the movie Episode Of Chopper, with some weird bastardization of canon and changes).

This of course didn’t stop Toei to further milk the golden pirate udders of the series (never did), so to advertize Strong World, they released a prequel to the movie in form of this OVA, Strong World: Episode 0, an adaptation of the special chapter “Strong World” released alongside chapter 565 of the manga (and gave away for free if you went to see the film in some japanese theathers, apparently). Of course they didn’t just released it anywhere, but in a limited retail DVD release of 3000 copies, given out as prizes for a contest held in House Foods (a major japanese food manufacturer) stores. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Strong World (Episode 0) OVA (2010) [REVIEW]”

Japan Sinks 2020 (2020) [REVIEW] | ooh the eastern sea’s so blue

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I knew this series was coming, but the surprising lack of hype, coverage and buzz on social media sites made me think either people forgot about this, or didn’t bother since most of the feedback from the dedicated sites was, with most of the comments expressing disappointement, criticizing excessive nationalism for the sake of it or just baffling stating stuff that – somehow – happens, like a grandpa “360° sniping” with a bow and arrows, etc.

This made me a bit sad, as i loved Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken (which i highly recommend, just go watch if you haven’t), and i don’t dislike Masaaki Yuasa’s work in general, quite the opposite, for example i love Kick-Heart, good stuff, Ping Pong The Animation is incredible, and his screenplay for the extra-surreal Cat Soup (another one i highly recommend) is quite good.

After pondering on it, i wrote a small blog post about the same apprehensions, and decided to watch the series since it’s a Netflix exclusive, and i do have Netflix, despite barely using most of the time. Continua a leggere “Japan Sinks 2020 (2020) [REVIEW] | ooh the eastern sea’s so blue”

Senran Kagura: Beach Peach Splash PS4 [REVIEW] | Wetworks

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Copy Purchased
Platform: PS4
Developed by: Tamsoft, Honey Parade Games
Players: 1 offline (2-10 Online)
Also Available On: Steam

Many thing can be said about the Senran Kagura series, but i give Marvelous a lot of credit for going fuckin bananas with the franchise. For such a niche series of beat em up games, you won’t expect at all a rhythm game spin-off, or basically their take on Splatoon, i really like that constantly try to expand it in such oddball fashion. You’ve got bahonkas of steel, Marvelous, no doubt about it.

We’re going knee deep. In the plot. Continua a leggere “Senran Kagura: Beach Peach Splash PS4 [REVIEW] | Wetworks”

So, about Japan Sinks 2020…

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I knew Masaaki Yuasa’s new series hit Netflix (even in my region) a couple of weeks ago or something, and apparently it’s a big ol’ turd with excessive nationalism and insane bullshit like granpas being superhuman hitman “360° sniping” with a bow or something?

At least that the impression i got from a lot of people on social media, and if that’s the case, i’m a bit sad, i absolutely loved Yuasa’s previous series, Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, that one was great, a banger, so i guess i’ll have to see myself.

I wish i had a better excuse to dust off Netflix, but eh.

Expect a review of it later this month.