Don’t expect a Pokemon Legend Arceus review in a timely manner

Yeah, one more from the beloved series of “Don’t Expect Anything”, i wouldn’t wanna spoil you too much least you forget the cold, disappointing and cruel embrace of reality.

Gloom aside, the reason for today “episode-ramble” is that i simply haven’t preordered Pokemon Legends Arceus, and so far i’m kinda glad i didn’t, since there are rumors and various leaks about the game’s performance being crap enough to noticeably affect the exploration of the full-on open world this Pokemon game goes for.

To be honest, it looks not worse than Sword and Shield from the official gameplay trailer released some days ago, but also not as good as you would expect since Game Freak didn’t do double duty on this and the Pearl/Diamond remake, i guess they really haven’t got the memo that they can/should make technically polished titles, since they’re not developing for handheld consoles anymore.

And they really can’t pull off “first proper new Pokemon gen game on the system” excuse.

Still, since the game comes out at the end of this month, a day one patch (and most likely more following that) could fix the issue… to some degree. I mean, the game launches in 2 week and 1/2, so it’s simply absurd to expect the situation to be easily dealt with via patches, regardless of how many they will be, for obvious reasons.

Do i still look forward to eventually playing the game itself? Sure, but i’m not going down the mine this time, i’m still bummed by pre-ording Ultrasun/moon, so i will wait to see how the situation evolves over the months, i’m not offering myself as proverbial canary this time. Really tired of that.

That sure was a Pokemon ramble, see ya!

Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Calamity – Expansion Pass PART 2 [REVIEW]

The final piece of Age Of Calamity DLC is here, and as usual i’m giddy at the prospect of more good musou content, as a remainder Omega Force can actually deliver when it cares (or when it feels it has to).

And this second (and final) piece of the game’s Expansion/Season Pass was easily the more appetizing to look forward, as it would add brand new story stages, alongside new abilities for existing characters, and new playable characters.

Regarding the latter, it was later revealed we would be getting Pruna and Rovely as a two-in-one playable warrior, and another one not revealed, nor hinted at in any way.

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[EXPRESSO] Escape Room 2: Tournament Of Champions (2021) | Sequel Gauntlet

Why i’m even reviewing this one, since it already released here months ago? It’s because it was so scarcely distributed that just NOW it hit theathers in my region, i mean, it’s not like it reviewed well at all, and clearly even distributors didn’t gave much of a toss about the sequel to “non-horror PG Saw” .

I didn’t expect i would actually get another chance to see it in theathers.

I did enjoy the first Escape Room for what it was, a non-horror version of Saw made more for a teen audience, it was pretty obvious what they were going after, if the pandemic didn’t happen i’d figure we would already be at Escape Room 3, as this one was greenlit in hope to milk sequels emulating Saw and other popular horror series… while sidestepping the “horror” label.

Frankly i’m not even sure this series will even be able to count to three, more due to relatively bad timing and diminishing box office returns, as this one ends with an even more direct cliffhanger.

Whatever, is the movie itself any good? Not really, and not entirely due to the usual case of diminishing returns, as this one really doesn’t care about any kind of crescendo or building up to anything, just being a rollercoaster ride of deadly escape rooms scenarios, from beginning to end.

The upside it’s that the plot moves really fast, the “trap scenarios” are actually entertaining, varied, quite fun, but everything else surrounding them is as stock and predictable as ever, as the big brain characters manage to somehow still don’t see the obvious “twists” coming, despite them of all people should know better. They don’t.

It’s far from boring, but it just comes off as a worse version of the first movie…….. not quite ideal for a sequel.

Musing on Dynasty Warriors 9 Empires after the TGS 2021 Tecmo Koei presentation

First of all, let me just say i’m happy Koei is continuining their historical strategy series in time, so i’m glad we’re getting another Nogunaga’s Ambition, but my taste lies more in their hack n slash musou titles based on the same historical periods of China and Japan, so i’m gonna unleash some thoughts on Dynasty Warriors 9 Empires i had for some weeks, after the first gameplay video shown at the China Joy event.

Preface: i often find the Empires spin-offs often quite hit or miss, great in theory but not always in execution, as it’s by design a compromise, it’s never gonna be proper deep strategy management like the Romance Of The Three Kingdoms series, otherwise there would be no point to that or them even being named after Dynasty Warriors.

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Talking bout that new dang Nintendo Direct

So, as it’s customary and cyclical event by now, a new Nintendo Direct dropped at midnight today, and i have something to blabber on about without planning much.

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Syndicate PS3 [REVIEW] | Cyberbooting EA Nonsense

While CD Projeckt Red (look out to not be sued by Robert Fripp) it’s still trying to patch up the comatose corpse release of Cyberpunk 2077, let’s go back in time when cyberpunk was…. actually not that far since i actually played this last year while quarantined and cleanin some of my backlog, and the game actually came out in 2012, almost ten years ago.

It just feels odd to discuss a game like this now, with the scenario of a society that basically taps directly into the “Wired” (not actually called that, but you get it), so you can connect to the internets with a chip installed in your brain, with more than half of the world populace having it, and using it to – among other things like downloading porn and Doom 2 WADS, i guess – align with one of the megacorporations that have become more important than nations themselves. The megacorps of course compete for dominance by also upping their terror and spy tactics by using prized killers, like the protagonist, Kilo (yes, with a “i”), as corporate espionage is basically a full on war.

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[EXPRESSO] Metal Slug Commander iOS | Cards Frontline

While that other mobile Metal Slug game (the one looking like a proper Metal Slug title, previosly known as Metal Slug Code J and now called Metal Slug Awakening) is still yet to come somewhere this year and the really promising Metal Slug Tactics is in development, SNK dropped a new mobile “RTS” title for smartphones, with Metal Slug Commander.

Apparently it was on beta test since october of last year, but i didn’t even knew the game (developed by SNK’s Hong Kong branch) existed, so whatever, it’s in open beta and available worlwide now.

More intriguing than another tapper, i guess.

This time it’s not a tower defense dealio, but the other popular mobile gameplay set-up: cards based.

You arrange the position of your cards/units in the 5 spaces (divided in 2 lanes) against the enemy formation, the units attacks automatically and you can tap to unleash a skill/powerful move when they’re able to. Pretty standard fare through and through, nothing really complex or fancy in any way, and you’re encouraged to just let it go on auto-battle, but there is something to it, as positioning the units and selecting the right counters does matter.

And as far as balancing the “pay to win” bullshit, this is a step up from Metal Slug Attack (and an idle resource collecting feature eases the grind a bit), so it feels less of a facade to justify the gacha of new characters, some sporting quite good designs.

Which just makes me wish we could actually get a new proper side scroller Metal Slug for consoles and PC to make good use of the new designs, i mean, SNK should have milked the franchise through mobile free to play games enough to warrant it.

Or re-release Metal Slug 3D, why the fuck not?

One Piece TV SP 10: Adventures In Nebulandia (2015) [REVIEW]

Director: Konosude Uda

Writer: Atsuhiro Tomioka

Runtime: 106 minutes

We’re finally taking a somewhat extended break from the recaps extravaganza (but not that extended, as we’ll find out) to have a TV special that actually features an original story, and calls back to a noticeably under-represented story arc, the Davy Back Fight, often completely eschewed from pretty much any adaptation of One Piece, and low-key hated by the fanbase, i feel.

Yeah, the premise sees Foxy and his crew send a false distress signal to the Straw Hats, seeking revenge after their Davy Back fight. The two crews begin another Davy Back, starting off with a mushroom eating contest as the first round of the challenge, but it’s a trap, as the new Foxy Pirates member, Komei, has made them eat the so called “Drousy Shrooms”, then reveals himself to be a Marine Vice Admiral and brings the four incapacited crewmembers as prisoners to Nebulandia.

The rest of both pirate crews follow them, but things get hairy as Nebulandia is an island that nullifies Devil Fruit powers due to its vegetation having adapted to live off sea water, acting as a natural prison for the many “gifted” pirates, so even more people get captured and it’s up to the few remaining to find a way to reserve the effects of the vegetation and escape the island.

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Samurai Warriors 5 PS4 DEMO [HANDS-ON]

So, Samurai Warriors 5 it’s gonna be out in a week, and Koei Tecmo decided to release a demo for it, so might as well give it a hands-on, since i won’t be reviewing it at launch.

I did eventually pre-order the Treasure Edition for it (not the collector’s one since Koei basically wanted 70 more bucks just for 5 tiny acrylic stands, fuck off), so i will be playing it, but i won’t have a review out, as i would like to do a retrospective of the Dynasty Warriors series, and maybe the same for the sister series Samurai Warriors, and “do” the games in order.

MAYBE i will just do a quick EXPRESSO review, but for sure not an extensive one.

The demo offers two maps/scenarios from the first chapter of the game, and four playable characters to pick a team of 2 from Hideyoshi Hashiba, No, Eiyasu Tokugawa and Toshiee Maeda (with Nobunaga Oda playable in the story mode but not in Free Mode, at least in this demo offering), with the ability to carry over the save data to the full game when it releases.

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#E32021 Conferences Recap/Review/Thing

As already pointed out, E3 coming back this year was kind of a big deal, as the pandemic made it impossible to be held as usual in 2020, and even with the usual croc of shit that the event is and promotes… it’s a ritual, it’s a tradition for many people with huge interest in videogames, it’s a communal experience.

But i wonder if one year of non holding the event made many companies just forgot what the hell the expo was even supposed to be, like old people forgetting something they usually did out of habit because they had to stop doing it for a reason or others.

Mind you, E3 history is full of cringy – and often legendary – conferences often full of people that barely could speak english or had any PR experiences, overblown lies and hype for everything, announcements of announcement without nothing to show for titles of interest, so it’s telling this year’s output was a complete mess.

I don’t think that’s too hyperbolic to say.

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