Mese: agosto 2025

[EXPRESSO] Dangerous Animals (2025) | Three On A Sharkhook

New shark movie with a big budget, a widespread cinematic release and it’s not a Jason Staham trashfest romp, another gonzo shark movie about an Esper Shark (TM) or something done with lunch money-allowance budget?

What has the gone world to?

Apparantly something good and conceptually simple, i guess that’s why it took so long for someone to make a good shark movie that also plays the “Uno reverse” card on the concept without overcomplicating it or being outlandish.

Meaning that Dangerous Animals is about a serial killer that hides his murderous calling by posing as a shark cage experience activity for tourist in Australia (which fittingly all good modern shark movies seem to hail from), killing people and filming as he feeds them to the sharks.

His next victim is a surfer girl, Zephyr, living a nomadic sort of lifestyle, whom finds herself kidnapped by the killer in preparation for his macabre rituals…

it’s so simple that a shark movie like this hasn’t been made before, but on the flipside it’s actually pretty good, thanks to a good budget, very solid acting and good characters, with a resilient leading lady/final girl and a good psychotic villain that does have a humourous side that actually makes him more believable as he use it alongside some charm to better camouflage his true self, without going overboard and making him feel cartoony or excessive.

It’s also pretty gory without going into full splatter territory, going for a more realistic tone to the chases and attempts of his victims to escape his grasp, making for a very tense film that is less predictable than one would expect, yet very satisfying even when it hits the expected notes, one also basically devoid of filler, exactly as long as it needs.

Pretty good.

[EXPRESSO] Locked (2025) | Small Theft Auto

Locked has a simple, yet fairly intriguing hook: a small time thief desperate for cash one day finds a strangely unlocked high-tech smartcar (like a Tesla that doesn’t randomly burst into fire) to loot it, but once in he then realizes he’s locked into the vehicle, and gets contacted by the owner, whom remotely controls everything in the car, making it act as a trap for whoever tried to steal it.

The guy then has to survive locked inside, while the unseen owner keeps torturing him, playing mind games and keeping the complex trap scenario of his own design going…

Sadly for Locked, this is the kind of script with a decent-good idea/concept…. but ultimately doesn’t really know what to do with it outside of slightly escalating the tortures, and boiling the explanation for this cruel trap to basically the same “eat the rich” surface level class warfare bit A24 movies have done to death recently, just done in a more utilitarian and even more shallow fashion, with the car owner (Anthony Hopkins) also written as being completely callous, a straight up empathy-free psycho, for better or worse.

It’s also not tense enough to make you question for real if escape is even possible to begin with, which is an issue (as is the unsatisfying ending) but i will say it’s not boring, even though it’s a film carried entirely by Bill Skarksgard’s performance as the low tier criminal that is forced by circumstance to thieve and such in order to care for his family, and if Hopkins kinda phones it in (literally for most of the film), he seems to be having fun with such a stock Jigsaw wannabe, which does help.

Overall, Locked feels middling, not bad but makes one wonder for the movie that could have been.

P.S.: This also is another foreign remake of a 2019 Argentinian movie called 4X4 (which has now has been remade thrice), itself having a similar premise to a 1998 direct-to-video film named Captured.

Platformation Time Again: Bubsy Has Somehow Returned… AGAIN

I was writing this post just to make clear i WILL tackle the entire Bubsy series now that LRG has given a release date, September 7, so pretty soon, and i will eventually (waiting for a sale) get it on Steam since i already have there the 2 new ones they did back in 2018 or something like that (there was a rerelease of Bubsy 1 and 2 on Steam already, Bubsy Two-Fur, but it wasn’t quite legal and nothing more than an SNES emulator using ROMs that anyone already could run, i forgot the details)….

and then some days ago Atari drops the trailer for Bubsy 4D.

We ain’t getting Crash Bandicoot 5 or a new Spyro, but we are getting a new full 3D platformer with Bubsy, now basically a 30 going 40 dude that wants to relate to the kids and to stay positive despite still having PSTD from Bubsy 3D…. so already an improvement over being an annoying teenage edgelord personality-wise, and the game looks honestly decent, might even be the first good Bubsy game ever made.

So, i’m gonna clutch my pearls and wring them in hope of a Jumping Flash collection, why not?

Though with my usual luck we would get a Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino’s Butt remaster instead.

Regardless, look for an eventual full coverage of Bubsy… sometime in the future.

[EXPRESSO] War Of The Worlds (2025) | Redditors VS Aliens

Yep, we doing this one.

The plot sees a Homeland Security officer, Will Radford (Ice Cube) at work being “benign Big Brother” for the government (while also monitoring his family, to their dismay), when a meteorite shower reveals to be a worlwide attack by alien machines, forcing Will to do what he can to save his family and help fight back the invaders however he can.

On paper it’s not necessarily a bad idea to make a modern War of The World remake focusing on the aliens taking over data infrastructures in the surveillance state internet reliant reality where everyone’s on their phones, playing up the “government conspiracy” angle… and proposing it as a screenlife thing, like a sci-fi Unfriended.

Yeah, that already sets off more bells than a Blue Oyster Cult comment section, and makes it abundantly obvious this was shot during the 2020 Covid pandemic, with Amazon sitting on it for 5 years before they remembered, “bothered” to do post-production and made it available on their streaming service.

They knew they were sitting on a turd, one so riddled with brazens self-promotion it’s comical (the climax of the movie involves an Amazon drone helping save the day), not that the movie actually decides if it’s against or pro “Big Tech”, and while Ice Cube’s acting is bad, it’s not like he has much to work with, the entire thing is so fuckin stupid and becomes even stupider, and a cinically rushed shitshow with plenty of IA generated news segments (and stock footage that looks bad enough to be IA generated slop too), on top of very shitty special effects.

And yet it’s so fiercely bad it does actually become one of the rare modern “so bad it’s good” movies, it has that kind of entertaiment quality to it.

[EXPRESSO] Warfare (2025) | Iraq To The Past

So, is this yet another chapter for the “america gonna invade your country and 20 years later make a movie how sad it made their soldiers” folder of war movies?

I mean, it does depict a real life episode taking place in November 2006 in Iraq, based on testimonies from the people that were in those platoons of NAVY Seals, so it’s almost 20 years after the facts…. but it ain’t that. Even if it is?

After Civil War Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza are back, for Warfare, which sets off to realistically portray the events that happened to a NAVY Seals squad on a very minor mission in Iraq, which evolves into them taking over a civilian house and being bottled up in there as they wait for evacuation/rescue, while trying to defend the position, all based on the retelling of the actual soldiers that were involved.

And it does commit to the realistical, almost documentary style. intense approach, to the point it doesn’t try to actually have a standard plot structure, character development or plot points for that matter, and doesn’t skirt away from the fact there’s a lot of routine processes, waiting around for protocols, alongside opaque military lingo that’s not meant to be understood, uncaring if it may come off as “boring” to general audiences because the point is to tell tit – as possible as it could ever be – “as it was”.

It’s also very unflattering of the military, but i feel it’s not exactly anti-war (as anti-war as a war movie can actually be), it’s more of a by-product of the realistical approach (especially given some ending credits stuff), and there are still some questionable choices, but i can’t deny that it’s quite gripping and at 95 minutes simply doesn’t overstay its welcome.

[EXPRESSO] Atarashii Gakko! The Movie (2025) | Youthaganda

So, what is this?

I had no idea, i decided to go into it mostly blind, since i did basically the same for the theathrical release of the Ado Shinzo concert, and i became an Ado fan, so….

I wasn’t actually aware of this Japanese all-girls group, Atarashii Gakko!, at all, so it was a gamble to go see a documentary biopic of sorts that chronicles the last concert of their “Nippon Calling Tour” in late December 2024, after a successful wourld tour (and with 2025 marking the group’s 10th anniversary) that had them even play at Coachella, and goes into what the band “Eternal Youth” slogan-motto actually means to them, and their impact on fans and so on.

I didn’t call them an “idol group” because i don’t think it fits, since – with their “freestyle & free” theme of doing what they want regardless of norms – they basically run the gamut and mix j-pop with rap, tokusatsu style hero songs, hip-hop, metal and even some EDM style beats, while sporting revised school uniforms.

It’s tempting to call this documentary a bit too self-serving and the band overall approach-way of doing things a bit too sappy… but honestly i can’t because they do embody their “eternal youth” approach as they mean it, as in, it’s fine to be silly, to be goofy, to be true to yourself, to let yourself be “cringe but free”, to go your way without having to antagonize people or “break the system”.

It might sound like a convenient “compromise” but it’s a surprisingly positive and healthy attitude to spread around, and it’s hard not to get “infected” by their sincere positivity, their youthful energy, their actual committment to their mantra, or not be intrigued by their freeform musical pastiche (and-or their peculiar coreographies).

One Piece: Grand Adventure PS2 [REVIEW] | Grand Battle Rushed

One Piece videogames were actually quite wild in terms of what got released out of Japan during the PS1 and PS2 era, with a very inconsistent series of releases outside of Japan, some esclusive to North America, some to European countries, some like One Piece for the GBA being the weird case of being regionally exclusive to North America, as in, there doesn’t exists a Japanese GBA cart of that game because it was never made in the first place.

One Piece Grand Adventure also falls into this category, as it was never released in Japan but made esclusively for North America and Europe, still by the same developer of the Grand Battle series (and behind a lot of One Piece games over the years), Ganbarion, to profit off the good sales for One Piece Grand Battle Rush (just One Piece Grand Battle in NA and EUR territories) on PS2.

I said PS2 as in the Gamecube version is a NA exclusive, in Europe we just got it on PS2.

But yeah, keep in the mind the “to profit off” part, which will also explain why this review might be shorter than expected.

Continua a leggere “One Piece: Grand Adventure PS2 [REVIEW] | Grand Battle Rushed”

Pirate Warriors 4 and The DLC-enening, Part 3 [The Endurance] (UPDATED)

Yesterday was One Piece Day, so as expected and announced, they revealed the winners for that poll/survey for characters fans would like to see as future DLCs for Pirate Warriors 4…. well, indirectly revealed some of the winners.

As in, they announced the third Character Pass, which this time is gonna be made of 2 character packs instead of 3, with the second (technically DLC Pack 8) being a “Legends” sort of deal, since it has fan favourite Enel back into the fray (being one of the characters culled from the roster despite being in Pirate Warriors 3), King, which was basically a given due its popularity, and Zephyr, from One Piece Film Z, this not a given at all, i was kinda expecting Shiki to make the cut, but i’m glad because Film Z is one of my favourites of the OP films, and my boy “Z” deserve some more representation.

As for the other DLC pack that is slated to released first this fall (with DLC Pack 8 instead having a “Early 2026” release date as of now), DLC Pack 7, they just revealed that the first of the batch will be Rob Lucci in its CP0-Egghead version, as in with the Awakening form and all of that.

The other two characters will be revealed later as the release window for the DLC pack approaches, and i would love to see Kaku (damn he loves giraffes) but i doubt it, same for Vivi, playing as her with Karoo as the built-in mount would be funny, but i think Baby 5 could be more interesting to play as given her literal “weapons morphing” Devil Fruit.

Honestly a bit miffed this is just 6 characters instead of 9, you can pre-order the Season Pass itself and the bonuses are 3 bonus costumes (not sure for whom) and a new special ability/move for Shanks, that both his base and Film Red versions can use.

No word on that next-gen versions they announced on upcoming, not here anyway, but i would be surprised if it’s not out by October.

(also, damn, that new trailer for the second season of the Netflix live action One Piece show looks good)

So see you for the eventual reviews of both DLC packs, bye!

UPDATE: the PSN store page for the Character Pass 3 is up in my region…. and it’s still 30 euros, like the other Character Passes, which had 9 characters.

This has 6. And i’m NOT ruling out the other two undisclosed characters of DLC Pack 7 being more new/slighty revised updated version of already playable ones, like Egghead versions of Zoro and Sanji, especially since i assume that’s the theme they’re gonna go with.

Jesus Christ, Namco Bandai, wanna make the next character pass even more famished of content? Fuck’ sake.

One Piece: Grand Battle/Grand Battle Rush PS2 [REVIEW] | “Chaser”, the other White Hunter

No i didn’t review this before, it just happens that Bandai “did a Konami” and released this new entry in the Grand Battle subseries as One Piece Grand Battle…. yes, with the same exact name as the first PS1 game that launched what it is now an established subseries of One Piece videogames.

Then again, this is technically Grand Battle 4, they never released Grand Battle 2 (which was still rocking that 2.5D gameplay) or Grand Battle 3 but when they started selling the anime with the 4Kids license/treatment i guess it was time to resume locazing these again, and keeping the original title of “One Piece Grand Battle Rush” must have made too much sense… but then again this time around we have a Power Stone clone.

As in, a proper one this time around, Grand Battle 3 did go full 3D first, but unless you lived in Japan or imported it at the times, you wouldn’t know (plus the more i find about GB3 the more GB Rush seems more like a Turbo Edition than a proper sequel).

So i’ll chalk it up to the localizers not giving a shit and just reusing the title of the series because who cares, after all this is first One Piece game of this sub-series to even reach North American lids.

Continua a leggere “One Piece: Grand Battle/Grand Battle Rush PS2 [REVIEW] | “Chaser”, the other White Hunter”