#E32021 XBox-Bethesda & Square Enix [Highlights]

Still haven’t fully digested that Microsoft did actually buy Bethesda, but i didn’t have much interest in their games before… with the exception of Doom, Wolfenstein and pretty much anything they published but not developed, but still, it is a big deal.

Cared more than i could ever care about Microsoft’s offerings this last generation (and if anything so far into the X-Box One X is indicative of something, make it two), but whatever, let’s see if the two companies can offer a proper conference, at least with the standards we expect from “AAA” publishers and console makers.

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#E32021 Devolver Digital & Gearbox Software [Highlights]

One wonders why even bother watching any showcase or conference outside of Devolver Digital’s…. and this year is no exception, The deranged saga of Nina Struthers “continues” with even more ferocious, unsubtle piss taking of the videogame industry, corporate culture and all it stands for, all while keeping the unhinged multi-layered meta-narrative going, and while showing perfect awareness that they themselves are still in the industry to sell you stuff, all packaged in a 22 minutes delirium box.

They get it and still got it.

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#E32021 Koch Primetime Gaming Stream & IGN EXPO [Highlights]

Yeah, compressing both together for my own convenience and because i really don’t have much to say about the Koch Primetime Stream (originally aired on Twitch) they had. I can say it was quite bad as a showcase for Koch Media new gaming label, named “Prime Matter”, 2 hours of mostly boredom thanks to the shit format of having basically an awkward interview relay race between various developers, with a lot of very dry talk and very little footage shown.

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EX-ARM anime (2021) [REVIEW] | Make the bad guys cry like….

I knew of Ex-Arm before the series was announced, as in i red the first volume of the manga, and thought that was.. alright.

Then in early november 2020 i discovered there was an anime planned for it, and apparently it was supposed to launch earlier, but got delayed a couple of times, post-poned until its January 2021 release on Crunchyroll, as one of their “Crunchyroll Originals” exclusive projects.

I heard about it on Twitter, alongside many baffled comments on why the hell is a live-action director with no experience in anime directing a 3D CG anime and also tasking a production company that also has no experience in anime… and i immediatly knew i would just “have” to review it, to witness the monstrum and write a report about what could be found in its wretched bowels.

Get confortable, as this autopsy-review will examine all the guts and decomposed organs, and there’s a LOT of those to rifle through with this one!

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[EXPRESSO] Psycho Dream SNES | VR Movie Divers

Played via Nintendo Switch Online’s SNES service.

The other title from the February 2021 poultry batch of titles for the NSO that mildly had my attention. More than Doomsday Warriors (also developed by RIOT), anyway.

Not that i even heard of this one before, i guess because it was released for the Super Famicom only, so it never left Japan in any official manner before now. That means i had to look up the plot on Wikipedia, and thanks to that i know you play as either Ryo or Maria, two special agents called “Debuggers”, as they rescue disaffected young people that lose themselves in virtual worlds known as “D Movies”.

In this case, they have to rescue a 17 yo girl of weak constitution, expected to die in a D Movie in the matter of 24 hours..

Interesting plot, but gameplay wise it’s just your typical action sidescroller from the era: advance from left to right fighting off weird ass enemies, collecting power-ups that change or upgrade your weapon, occasionally doing some platforming, and then fighting a boss at the end of each chapter. Nothing really special by any means, and on the technical side you can tell it’s definitely an early game for the SNES/Super Famicom.

There are no major issues with the controls, no limited continues or unfair bullshit of the time (you have unlimited continues, for once), but while it gets some bonus points for the bizarre enemies and visuals that make the game live up to its title, it loses them due to sketchy performance and level designs that at times makes the stages feel either very stretched out or made a bit more confusing than needed just to pad out the overall longevity. So it ends up just being mediocre, playable but mostly forgettable.

EX-ARM, the oddly shaped Manos of fate, and the invisible off-screen truck of doom

I didn’t expect to write another one of these posts, because the novelty of the EX-Arm anime being unbelievable crap wore off and i just got accostumed to its foul, robotic and uncanny fare. Oh well, it will avoid me having to note down another batch of odd fuck up, animation errors, bad camera angles and stuff.

Or so i thought.

(Gif taken from Twitter, from a fellow stunned viewer)

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Eels For Meals

At episode 3, i can confirm Yuru Camp Season 2 is great, might even be better than the first one, uber comfy, supercute, so much it will heal your filthy soul. Bliss, comfy bliss.

Watch out for the sudden, detailed and unexpected eel “murder” sequence (not pictured here) before being served.

Oh, yes, also, Cells At Work BLACK anime tackled erection and gonorrhea, as you do.

Can’t wait for the new episode of EX-ARM and what new shades of utter incompetence will bring, i’m sure the full fight scene against the robo-maid (shown both in the episode preview and in the PV of the series, you know, that video that literally publicized the anime series by saying “brace yourself, other sci-fi anime series, here we come!”) will manage to be even worse than expected.

I hope i can bring you some new reviews in the coming week, we’ll see.

So, that EX-ARM anime wasn’t a practical joke

**And yet you still wanted to make an EX-ARM anime.**

I will have a review of this turd when the series finishes, but this first episode it’s so unbelievably bad it doesn’t matter if the story improves or gets worse as it goes along, with this embarassing animation it’s all for naught. I would like to apologize to the Berserk 2016 anime, this is even worse, it’s unbelievable. But also the logical outcome to have a studio that never did nor understands animation… do anime.

And no, that horrendous screenshot seen above it’s not a one-off, in the first episode alone there are like 3 occasions where a horridly made 3D CG anime character is framed alongside a clearly 2D animated character. To say nothing of the horrible, uncanny way they movie (with the jaw unhinging like a creepy ventriloquist doll), making Polygon Pictures produced anime series look like Redline.

How the hell did these people manage to have this signed up as a Crunchyroll Original i can’t even fathom. The manga isn’t that bad to deserve an adaptation so abysmal.

And yes, the manga also had better animation.

Dino Dicember #22: Anonymous Rex (2004)

Ah yes, the “Jurassic Park X Blade Runner” crossover you never asked for but was actually made, not so much to chomp on a Ridley Scott movie released 22 years priors (at the time), but as to put out something since the TV series based on Casual Rex, the prequel to the novel of Anymous Rex (both written by Enry Garcia, who also wrote a sequel book, Hot N Sweaty Rex, and Repo Men), and – aactually serves as the base for this movie, despite being titled after the first novel.

Yes, they basically reworked the unproduced work for the Casual Rex TV series as a 2 hour movie… not called “Casual Rex”, but “Anonymous Rex”. I guess because it’s a more catchy title. Confused yet? Hope not, but still, how many dino-noir films are out there? I wouldn’t exactly consider Theodore Rex as noir, myself.

I have to add this one is quite hard to even see, it’s on Amazon Prime Video… in the US, and i draw the line at using a VPN or registering to suspicious site for downloads. So i had to watch it on Youtube, in parts, hardsubbed in chinese in an embarassing resolution. I’m not gonna use screenshots from that, for obvious reasons.

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Dino Dicember #20: Theodore Rex (1995)

The 1990’s had such a thing for the “extinction impaired” that they managed to spawn not one, not two but three (at least) dinosaur cyberpunk movies, and yes, i’m counting Super Mario Bros The Movie as one of them, because it fits. But we’ll reference that one some more later, when we tackle Anonymous Rex, today we’re talking about a movie that people knew about at the time… but wish they didn’t.

Clearly it didn’t help Whoopi Goldberg’s career, but neither this nor Monkeybone stopped her. Baby Geniuses 2 did more on that regard, as far as playing a character (instead of herself) in a movie.

Of course, this means Theodore Rex, the sci-fi dinosaur buddy cop comedy that was meant for theathers, but ultimately went straight to the home video market, at least in the US and Italy. Also, it did earn Whoopi Goldberg a Golden Raspberry Award, but the Razzies… yeah, whatever.

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