[EXPRESSO] Don Chisciotte (2026) | Romance Dusk

A new, Italian adaptation of the famous Don Quixote by Cervantes, also based off an old theathre adaptation of the same classic story by an often unsung master of italian cinema and theathre (among others thing, he co-wrote Bycicle Thieves) Gerardo Guerrieri.

While i’m not familiar with Guerrieri treatment-version of the story, i think this aspect it’s worth noting because some there’s a theathrical flair and approach to some scenes, for better or worse, not that i think this is a proper, major flaw.

That said, this is a straightforward adaptation of the classic novel, taking place in its proper time period and locations, but aside the beginning and end framing this as Cervantes himself envisioning his book while being treated at a hospital after partecipating in the Battle Of Lepanto (and a couple of events are cut to avoid the film go over the 2 hours runtime) it is indeed Don Quixote, and ironically the fact it’s not a modernized take gives it more impactful.

Sure, while i did like Gilliam’s take on the tale (for example), i also understand that in a way there’s no need to modernize the story, as it’s themes do keep on resonating as strong as they do today, and reconfirm this as a modern classic not just because they tell you it is and make you read it in school.

I won’t lie, at times its committment to being faithful makes it a bit too didactic, some of the acting isn’t amazing, but the main performances of Alessio Boni (Don Quixote) and Fiorenzo Mattu (Sancho) are great, photography is quite good, and the committment to have the world feel extra concrete extends to avoid any digital effects, as in, they actually built real windmills and windmill props, which is extra laudable especially now.

[EXPRESSO] Project Hail Mary (2026) | Boldore Dash

Based on the novel of the same name by Andy Weir (also author of The Martian, adapted by Ridley Scott back in 2015), Project Hail Mary is promoted once again as the kind of “sci film you’ve never seen before”, and i feel that might harbour some disappointment.

Not because the film is bad, mind you, but because – as already pointed out by other critics – this IS something we have seen before, or more correctly, an ensemble of sci-fi ideas we have seen before, to the point one could almost envision it as a more happy, family friendly take on Villeneuve’s Arrival, in a way.

The plot follows a math scientist, Grace, that wakes up in a spaceship with amnesia, only to find himself the only person left alive, but slowly remembers why he’s there, sent as part of “Project Hail Mary”, an expedition to study why only a single star in the galaxy, Tau Ceti, isn’t being “consumed” despite being in range of the infrared “Petrova line” connecting the Sun to Venus, acting as a vector for organisms known as “Astrophage”, which are slowly dimming the Sun and will eventually make Earth’s temperature drop by a catastrophical degree.

While working on a solution, Grace finds an unexpected visitor and forms a friendship that will help in his quest to avoid Earth freezing to death….

Dispelling the “it’s really original never seen before” marketing babble is more of a necessary observation than a diss, because it’s a really well done mix of already seen sci fi ideas, led by a notable performance by Ryan Gosling in a movie that’s ultimately a wholesome, family friendly ordeal, which is quite nice as the movie does manage to properly balance out the more cerebral aspects with the emotional and comedy-laden moments.

[EXPRESSO] The Bride! (2026) | Mary Shelley’s Frankenmess

This was a film i did look forward to see, obviously, being a peculiar take on Bride Of Frankenstein, with the trailers showing off The Creature (the Frankenstein monster) and The Bride in a Bonny & Clyde, Syd & Nancy style dynamic as they travel a 30’s America of gangsters and trenched detectives.

The premise sees the ghost/spirit of Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein herself, meta narrate about her “sequel” about the “Bride” of Frankenstein, in this case the corpse of a prostitute working undercover to gather info about a particularly violent mob boss, which is dug up after the Creature travels to America and seeks the help of Dr. Ephronious to make him a companion in order to soothe his unique loneliness.

The experiment is successful and so the Bride is borne, but it becomes difficult for the two monsters to go unnoticed, not only due to the police and the mob befuddled by a presumed dead woman showing up on the newspapers’ headlines, but also because Mary Shelley herself occasionally possesses the Bride’s body…..

the idea of a feminist take on Bride Of Frankenstein makes perfect sense, i do believe so, even if discordant by design, as it’s not only a horror-crime duet of deranged protagonists complementing each other’s delirium, but it’s also a gothic romance that often dips into comedy and even musical sequence that seems to tribute-spoof Frankenstein Junior.

It’s ambitious and – again- by design tries to combine together pieces that don’t really naturally fit, which is indeed “very Frankenstein”, but the execution honestly feels like a really hot mess of intentions, even more stitched together and messier than intended, downright clunky.

I do respect its ambition, even if the final result is indeed quite flawed, but also proper interesting and never quite boring.

The Food Of The Gods (1976) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

As we gotta have a Bert I. Gordon film in the rubric every year, i figured we’d might as well knock off one of his lesser known films, as in, i don’t think color when i think B.I.G., but he did work until well beyond the 50s up into the 90s, and before passing away in 2023, he did screenwriting work for 2014’s Secret Of A Psychopath.

This is from the short lived “Wells period” of his career, working with Samuel Z. Arkoff’s American International Pictures, though this isn’t the first time he adapted the Wells novella, since his 1956’s Village Of The Giants film also took the entire basic premise of a substance that makes people grow larger to join the giant humanoid trend of The Amazing Colossal Man but mostly used to make another entry in the “teensploitation” trend that was going on at the time with surf movies and shit.

This time is a less bastardized adaptation, and by that i mean it actually uses the H.G. Wells moniker and is slightly more faithful to book… at least its basic premise, since it doesn’t cover most of the more interesting chapters and its themes, it basically reduces it to another “nature revenge” plot, which indeed was all the rage after Jaws, as already discussed plenty of times.

Meaning this has more to do with the unproduced kaiju film Nezura (and -again – Jaws and the) than Food Of The Gods, since the focus here is on giant rats that have eaten the “FOTG”, in this case a substance springing from the ground in a farm in British Columbia, with the farmer, Mr. Skinner, considers it a gift from God himself, feeds it to the chickens, which grow to giant size, and so do wasps, grubs, and rats, making the island overrun by giant vermin.

Unaware of this, a professional football player and some his teammates head there for a hunting trip, but they get more than they wanted from it…

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Scarlet (2025) | “Why Don’t You Ramlet?”

After debutting at 2025’s Venice Film Festival, Hosoda’s latest film, Scarlet, is releasing in theathers worlwide.

And to be honest i was ready to be disappointed, but you know, even Belle with its flaws was quite interesting, but Scarlet instead surpassed my expectations for the worse, and it pains me to say that it is, without a doubt, the worse Hosoda film ever, however you slice it.

The premise is not necessarily bad, at all, basically doing a genderbend version of Hamlet, but when the heroine Scarlet, fails to avenge her father’s death at the hands of her evil uncle Claudius, she finds herself in a limbo where souls gather after death, regardless of era or nation.

There is she informed by a strange shaman woman that her uncle Claudius is here too, and is amassing an army to stop others going to the “Infinite Lands” beyond the mountains, so she continues her quest for vengeance, helped by Hijiri, a pacifist paramedic from modern day Japan.

Scarlet it is the worse written Hosoda film ever, with a story that even by its own fantasy sci fi logic makes little sense, a super basic Hamlet deconstruction that has nothing to say and doesn’t proper explore anything, just throws in the air the usual waffling about the “futility of vengeance” and “the necessity of violence”, features incredibly dull, uninteresting characters and ends with one of the stupidest “optimistic” endings i’ve ever seen.

To make matters worse, it’s not even pretty, starting off strong with good 2D animation in the prologue but then it’s a constantly inconsistent flip-flopping between 2D and 3D CG animation, all looking astoningly cheap for a feature film by Hosoda’s Studio Chizu, with musical scenes meant to wow audiences being downright laughable and featuring generic, unispired music to boot.

Tromeo & Juliet (1996) [REVIEW] | Troma Shaped Box

While i was adamant about never reviewing a Troma film again due to them defending Harry Knownles some time ago, after seeing the new Toxic Avenger reboot/remake i realized there’s no point as the company died years ago, the soul of it, anyway, and it’s sad that i somehow longed for when they were trash but punk for real, instead of pretending as they are today.

Plus, at this point, they have so little relevance left regardless, so whatever, as they have a right to keep trying to remake their old shlock classics (or do new installments on their old series like Class Of Nuke ‘Em High), so have i to review Tromeo & Juliet for a lark if i want (and so have you on this decision of mine, obviously), and because it’s that time of the year .

I was gonna say basically the same thing for the SGT Kabukiman review i planned last year, but that i had to delay, so i’ll refer back to this one for clarification in the future, instead of redoing the spiel everytime.

And i guess at one point i’ll have to do a full essay on Kaufman and Troma as a whole, because in a way it deserves more discussion that i’m giving it here, but let’s not get carried away, it’s time to revisit a Troma classic, their shlock loose retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with an obvious but also obviously catchy punny name, Tromeo & Juliet (still makes more sense than Gnomeo & Juliet).

Time to shit on Shakespeare, because why not?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Primavera (2025) | Stabat Mater

Based on the novel Stabat Mater by Tiziano Scarpa, Primavera (lit. Spring) brings up back to early 18^th centhury Venice, where the protagonist, Cecilia, is raised as an orphan taken into the convent-orphanage-music school istititution Pio Ospedale Della Pietà, alongside many other young girls given in custody of the orphanage or simply abandoned there.

Cecilia, now 20 yo, has been living there since infancy, writes letters for her unknown mother, and performs alongside the other girls, trained as orchestra ensembles for the pleasure of wealthy benefactors, but Cecilia love for music is doomed since she’s already been given into marriage to a general, in exchange for generous donations to the convent-orphanage.

Then an aging and ill Antonio Vivaldi comes back to teach at the Ospedale Della Pietà, and he notices Cecilia’s talent, wants to nurture it, in spite of her knowing her musical “career” will end once the Venetian-Ottoman Wars conclude and her promised groom comes back to marry her.

An Italian-French co-production, Primavera is a stark period piece tale of female liberation in a place where religious values come optional to currying favor with the elites in exchange for money, be it in providing brides to nobilmen, compete in audience with other religious-philantrophic, the girls are nothing more than bargaining chips, trained prisoners bound to be sold off one way or another, a film willing to confront the facts that “art” itself can’t magically save, redeem or bend reality’s injustices, yet because of that is also a necessity.

All sustained by terrific acting, and while some might be let down by the fact Vivaldi isn’t the protagonist…. this isn’t his story, is Cecilia’s, and after all, the film doesn’t sugarcoat how Vivaldi himself was treated like shit in life and became famous only a centhury after his death.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Nuremberg (2025) | Nazi Turnabout

A historical court drama about the behind the scenes of the Nuremberg trails, where the surving architects of the Nazi regime are put on trial for crimes against humanity for the Holocaust.

An army psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley (Rami Malek), is tasked with looking after the mental well being of Hermann Goering (Russell Crowe), Hitler’s second in command, alongside the other surviving Nazi hierarchs, while the Allies investigates and discuss why this trial should be even done in the first place.

Kelley, also hoping to write a book about the vents (and in turn maybe understand the psychological proceeding that led the Nazis to previously unseen amount of efficient evil), forms a bond with Goering…

While one might argue this comes at the right time, when we’re seeing history on the verge of repeating again (for the worse), one might say it’s a bit too little and that maybe, given the current geopolitical state, we should have skipped the trial, but this just isn’t that kind of film.

This is an old fashion history drama that’s fairly unpretentious and uninterested in being artsy or provocative, as it mostly wants to educate people while entertaining them, and basically exists as a vehicle for actors to try and get an Oscar out of it.

Not necessarily “bad bait” when it gives us a really outstanding performance by Crowe as the charimastic yet subtly manipulative Goering, as he and Kelley have this “Hannibal-Lecter-Graham” style relationship going on, though Malek’s performance (while not necessarily bad) just isn’t as good as Crowe’s, and oddly the sequences at the stand are kinda brief, despite the build up to them.

That said, it also goes by swimmingly, despite it’s 2 hours and 40 minutes runtime, so it’s good, even if old fashioned, but not necessarily lesser for it.

Final Verdict: Expresso

12 Days Of Dino Dicember # 53: Primitive War (2025)

I wasn’t aware of Primitive War until a friend recommended looking up the trailer some time ago, and indeed it looked promising and actually kinda cool, like an actual effort and not just the usual low budget dinosaur drivel that we get nowadays.

I mean, if going for the Vietnam route worked for King Kong, it can work for a dinosaur film as well, why not? It’s at least something to shake up the formula.

And it also released earlier this year, so i didn’t have to dust this off from the crypt or something.

in 1968, during the Vietnam war, a Green Beret platoon goes missing during an operation, so a search & rescue team, named Vulture Squad, is tasked with a recon mission to locate the missing platoon, only for them to be attacked by dinosaurs.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man (2025) | Crusader: No Remorse

Sorry for this being later than planned, got sidetracked.

No limited theatherical screening for this one in my area, as with Del Toro’s Frankenstein. Bummer.

Master detective Benoit Blanc is back again for the third Knives Out film, Wake Up Dead Man, called upon to investigate another impossible murder mystery, this time teaming up with a zealous young priest to solve the mysterious murder in the church of a sleepy small town, itself harboring a sordid past that’s about to be uncovered.

If Glass Onion was a huge piss take on not-Elon Musk and his ilk, Wake Up Dead Man goes to a more classic murder mystery scenario type, the religion themed ones, foregoing taking the piss of techbros for taking on the modern realities for the Church and its struggles with new realities, that often are rejected and taken in stride to be more regressive, to harbor hateful, homophobic, fascist-spirited circlejerks of zealots ready to fight the “holy war on the heathens”.

As in, we don’t eat the rich, we eat the bigots as well, makes sense.

This time around we aren’t dropped into the aftermath but we spent a good amount of time characterizing the young priest struggle against the local monsignor and depicting the various, utterly despicable-pitiable soon-to-be-suspects, as Daniel Craig’s character doesn’t show up until 40 minutes in. He’s slightly less fancy this time around, but still a great genre savvy quirky genius detective as ever.

It helps this sequel (though like Glass Onion this can be enjoyed on its own) stand out for itself, which is kinda needed since it’s the third Knives Out film, and in short it’s indeed more of the same, it is what we’ve come to expect from the series, but damn, it’s still quite good, funny and fairly witty stuff.