The very early December grabbag update post: Dinos, Animatronics Boogaloo, Letting It Die, PS5, and winter breaks

Time for an update post as Dicember looms very close… and is here already.

As previously announced, the first week of December i will be taking a break from full lenght reviews, which will resume on December 8th, on a weekly basis leading up to Christmas, and of course 12 Days Of Dino December.

Which will go on as always, no big changes.

I will have reviews of the new FNAF film out, and i guess the third James Cameron’s Avatar film, because that is a thing, and one i do not care for, i’d rather have Cameron work on that Alita Battle Angel sequel, if he’s willing to gamble zillions into a series, better than his First Nation alien Smurfs saga that apparently no one cares for but will see to go anyway, though the more it goes on the faster it might cull itself out (if you break records, then it becomes increasingly hard to keep doing that on a regular basis), so nevermind.

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One Piece Pirate Warriors 4: DLC Pack 7: Future Island Egghead PS4 [DLC REVIEW] (UPDATED)

We’re back.

Despite everything, we’re still back for more of these, and i will immediatly say i’m disappointed my boy Kaku didn’t make it, despite him being (kinda) prominent in the Egghead arc this DLC pack is representing, and the Egghead/CP0 version of Rob Lucci being the one fighter of the pack we knew was coming months ago.

But we kinda knew already due to educated guesses and japanese One Piece character popolarity poll results strongly suggesting so, so i’m not THAT surprised.

This pack also releases alongside the current gen versions of the game (being free upgrades for people owning the last gen versions at least on X-Box and Playstation), which will have better graphics, improved framerate and more enemies on screen, but since i don’t have a PS5 yet i can’t verify that for myself.

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[EXPRESSO] After The Hunt (2025) | Woke Chungus Season

Luca Guadagnino’s new movie is out here as well, After The Hunt.

The plot sees a philosophy professor at Yale finding herself in a thorny situation when, close to receiving a professorship in the teaching subject, a student of hers confesses that the professor’s assistant raped her, but him denies the accusation and rebukes of the student also blatantly plagiarizing her thesis.

It’s a battle of optics-vs-ethics, academy drama and also a bout of pretending that the movie its actually trying to present the characters so you won’t be able to label anyone as “right” or “wrong”, as the script so obviously takes sides it’s almost funny in how paper thinly disguises what it actually thinks, like if we have high profile actors discussing philosophy it will have make movie and dialogue smart.

Even more intellectually insulting are the weak attempts to backpedal towards the end, with the rushed as hell epilogue set 4/5 years laters that feels like it realized last second this is all old hat, and not really worth rediscussing when the current situation is so much worse … not that the epilogue itself helps in anything but making the whole thing even more of a farce.

Also, it’s confusingly toothless for a Guadagnino directed film, that should be provocative and uncomfortable but feels comforting as in, this is reheating the #metoo talking points in a meandering, meaningless and way too late to the party fashion it’s almost “cute”.

If it wasn’t so goddamn boring and shallow, heck, i had my issues with Eddington but even that was more entertaining and aware of the themes and events of the recent past and how they factored in the current sociopolitical scenarios.

Some great performances mean little when the film feels engineered for fishing nominations more than anythin else.

[EXPRESSO] Eddington (2025) | Divide Schmivide

Ari Aster doing a COVID-19 crime western comedy thing?

Sign me in!

Set during the 2020 pandemic, we see the local sheriff (played by Joaquin Phoenix) of the small town of of Eddington, New Mexico, get spiffy against the local mayor (played by Pedro Pascal) for the mask mandate, and it escalates to the sheriff deciding to run for mayor himself, sabotage his rival on social media, while the climate gets worse due to events such as the George Floyd’s murder, etc.

I will respect that Aster doesn’t give a shit about making movies that unearth a recent, hugely divisive period of reality people would rather move on from, and yes, this is a cornucopia of deliberately unlikeable characters, from Q-anon pilled conspiracy theorists in-laws, hypocritical liberal youths into activism as long as there’s some pussy to gain from it, cult leaders, grifters, etc.

Problem is, it’s an unfocused mess which satirizes everything but does so in such a shallow and frankly unsatisfying manner, regurgitating stuff we already know and are still living through, with barely a plot to hold onto, something to actually build to, or characters that actually have any depth, feeling even more cartoonishly stupid than they’re meant to, and somehow able to make actors like Pascal and Phoenix come off as bad, which is sadly impressive.

It’s more frustrating than anything else, as the actual jokes that work are too few and far between for an almost 3 hours long movie, and while it picks up a little midway through, it borders on being an completely boring, unfunny movie.

It all feels like an uncomfortable but also flavourless remasticated portrait of 2020 and today’s America; plus, while i did suggest it might take some time to revaluate Beau Is Afraid…. i’m not so sure about Eddington.

[EXPRESSO] Mantopus! (2025) | Octaman’s Father

Had to see a newly released on Amazon Prime Video film called “Mantopus!” that is retro styled meta comedy about a now washed horror director finding the titular “man-octopus” hybrid in a mysterious antique shop and deciding to use it as the star of his final horror film, Mantopus, a Creature From The Black Lagoon knock-off.

It’s one of these modern retro styled comedies akin to stuff like The Lost Skeleton Of Kadavra, but set in the late 50s-early 60s, arking back to the drive-in era of monster movies, with a Michael Gough-looking director (as the whole movie it’s basically a tribute to him), a slimeball making stuff like the fictional “Frankenstein In Texas” to the dismay of his producer, running “not-American International Pictures”, but the director becomes mad and starts using the monster to eliminate his “enemies”.

I will say it’s an interesting proposition, because while it’s not too hard by now to emulate the visual style of these shlocky films, you ironically gotta have decent actors able to deliberately act bad the purposefully stock dialogue that seems somehow dubbed in post even when it’s obviously not, but Mantopus manages to get that and most importantly gets right the feel of these old movies, and the tone, that both makes fun but also celebrates with sincerity these films, that actually likes the drive-in trashfests about monsters with little to no budgets but high on violence and “nudity”.

It’s all done with affection instead of spite or mockery, the overacting is lovely as its the deliberate awkward delivery of basically every line and stock discussion, it’s a quite fun film, though it’s a very niche movie made for a very specific audience, one that loves cheesy horror of yore and will notice the posters aren’t for made up old movies.

Platformation Time Again: Bubsy Has Somehow Returned… AGAIN

I was writing this post just to make clear i WILL tackle the entire Bubsy series now that LRG has given a release date, September 7, so pretty soon, and i will eventually (waiting for a sale) get it on Steam since i already have there the 2 new ones they did back in 2018 or something like that (there was a rerelease of Bubsy 1 and 2 on Steam already, Bubsy Two-Fur, but it wasn’t quite legal and nothing more than an SNES emulator using ROMs that anyone already could run, i forgot the details)….

and then some days ago Atari drops the trailer for Bubsy 4D.

We ain’t getting Crash Bandicoot 5 or a new Spyro, but we are getting a new full 3D platformer with Bubsy, now basically a 30 going 40 dude that wants to relate to the kids and to stay positive despite still having PSTD from Bubsy 3D…. so already an improvement over being an annoying teenage edgelord personality-wise, and the game looks honestly decent, might even be the first good Bubsy game ever made.

So, i’m gonna clutch my pearls and wring them in hope of a Jumping Flash collection, why not?

Though with my usual luck we would get a Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino’s Butt remaster instead.

Regardless, look for an eventual full coverage of Bubsy… sometime in the future.

[EXPRESSO] Umamusume: Pretty Derby iOS | Equus Focus

Finally, the horsing can begin on global scale, with the worlwide release of Umamusume: Pretty Derby, the original smarthphone free-to-play game (though it launched here alongside the PC version on Steam) that launched this popular anime multimedia franchise.

The deal is “simple”: horse girls exists, inheriting funny names from famous racing horses of our real world, and they compete in specific footrace championships…. and since it’s a japanese anime multimedia niche franchise, they also do idol show performances, because why not?

It’s a “pretty derby”, after all.

The game itself it’s – fitting enough – basically an idol-athlete raising simulator, where you act as a Trainer and manage an Umamusume career, gameplay being a lot of micromanaging of the talent in order to have her prepared/fit to run and win races, with story and events (affected by the selection of support cards) playing out VN style, and specific set goals to achieve within the given amount of turns, otherwise you fail the career …though that will just happen, and it’s kinda necessary since you can pass down “legacy boosts” by selecting characters that already attempted (or completed) a career.

Suprisingly, the game doesn’t pester you into the gacha to have you favourite umasumume improve and eventually win, so it’s pretty generous, even though some of the characters…are just better, which will matter for the competitive scene long term, for now the PvP consists of a single asyncronous mode.

It looks pretty dang good, the soundtrack is great, the micromanaging is not too overcomplicated, the races themselves are actually pretty fun to watch, and it remains engaging even if the gameplay loop is repetitive and so are the way events/scenarios shuffle during the career/story, thanks to the fun characters and the well written mix of slice of life and sports drama.

Some early impressions about the Nintendo Switch 2, the “phantom carts” and Mario Kart World

i had the Switch 2 since launch day, got it alongside a physical copy of Mario Kart World, and that’s it because i’m not made of money.

Yes, there was that Welcome Tour game meant to show the console features, but since it’s paid stuff it can go get stuffed, you bundle that shit in for free, like for Wii Sports.

That said, it may sound silly and obvious to say, but the good thing about the Switch 2 is Nintendo NOT reinventing the wheel but actually providing a follow up to the Switch, similar but improved in hardware capability, with a bigger screen, and even a nearly identical interface (the eShop seems to be running better too).

No gimmick that is shoehorned into maybe some launch titles and some exclusives and then gets forgotten or is more a hindrance than a feature.

And pretty much complete backward compatibility with Switch games, some having improved Switch 2 version you can upgrade to for 10 bucks, which is actually a fair price and in stark contrast with the only exclusive launch title, Mario Kart World, costing 90 bucks physical, 80 digital, but that is still a lot.

Yes, MK World is pretty damn good, not gonna lie, it is, i have some qualms but i will tackle them when i do a full review in September, i’m gonna take my time for that one, and still, 80 bucks it’s a lot, i feel i gotta keep pointing it out, because it is for a lot of people, me included.

You can guess how happy i am in how pretty much 90 % of third party games being not so much ports (that was the case for the Switch as well, for other reasons often), but the compromise of the “Game Key Card”, as in an empty cartridge that’s basically a physical license to download the game. If i understood it right.

Even less when NISA is pulling shit like finally localizing the Complete Edition of Disgaea 7… as a Switch 2 console exclusive. A “Game Key Card” physical release. Still full price.

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Summer Of EDF redux, Shark-A-Palooza, Idol Honses, Switch 2 and One Piece August

Update time!

Since i’m knee deep in thesis work which it’s gonna take my entire summer and up to October, i had to make some changes to the schedule up to August.

Due to personal stuff, i will be away for thi weekend, hence some EXPRESSO reviews are gonna be late or aren’t gonna happen at all, some were not gonna regardless, for example don’t expect a review of Final Destination Bloodlines as i really haven’t kept up with the series, at all, and this ain’t a reboot, it’s a direct sequel continuining from FD 5, but i will see and review Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning (aka Dead Reckoning Part 2), with some luck i can catch a preview screening for that.

Surprisingly there’s also a Largo Winch movie (this will mean something only to “Europeans” comics fans, maybe) here… but its a sequel to another Largo Winch movie they made in 2008, technically also the sequel to 2011 Largo Winch 2, so it’s the last in a trilogy that just got home video releases (not really publicized at all, too, just put out there) until now here, one i didn’t know it even existed until now.

You know, now i’m kinda tempted to see the movie anyway to see if it made sense to release it as they did. Kinda.

Expect one of Umamusume Pretty Derby too, as the original smarthphone game is finally hitting a global release in late June, i’m gonna be ready.

Summer of EDF is still gonna happen, but will be in “mini” format, meaning 2 reviews instead of the planned 4, and i guess that means we’ll still be doing it next summer, so…

On the flipside, there are gonna be more shark movie reviews, alongside some anime series’ reviews.

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Pirate Warriors 4 Next Gen and somehow MORE DLC

I will admit, i completely missed this trailer, as i did with Warriors Abyss announcement, i was made aware by a newsletter while checking the mail, and for reasons i will explain, i’m a bit TOO late, but i also kinda had to, as i didn’t rule out a situation like this.

There just so many times i can write “i can’t believe we’re still talking about Pirate Warriors 4”, so yes, i can believe, and will, since we’re here again.

And yes, they will do about anything than actually make or even hint at a Pirate Warriors 5, or actually do a proper expansion, like and old school Xtreme Legends things, with redone old stages that were in PW3 but not in PW 4, as we already discussed in detail.

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