[EXPRESSO] Five Nights At Freddy’s 2 (2025) | Hind N Seek

Predictably so, we’re back for more FNAF movie escapades, and i’m back to still not knowing (or caring) much about the series, but curious enough to check these films out.

The events of the first film that went down that night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria became a local legend, leading to a “Fazfest” being held in town.

The protagonist’ little sister, Abby, misses her animatronic friends (more correctly, the children’ souls bound inside them), but things go south as she’s approached by a new menace, the Marionette, and we explore the original Freddy Fazbear establishment, and learn of its sordid secrets.

I didn’t expect much, the first one i thought it was okay, middling but about what you would expect… but in retrospect, that might have been a fluke of sorts.

This sequel is just drivel, lazy slop, just a random mish mash of stuff cobbled together, with no structure, no cinematic structure, more interested in mimicking verbatim stuff that i suppose happens in the games, as this time series’ creator, Scott Cawthon, is the only one credited for the screenplay, and clearly doesn’t care that this is a film and not a videogame, more interested with dated, inane preoccupations of “not being enough like the games” and confusing “lore” for “plot”.

It’s just so lazy, cliched and downright stupid it’s actually insulting, even for a children’s horror film, one clearly aware that it can squeeze any clump of shit and it won’t matter to the box office (or its establishe fanbase)…. so does exactly that.

Even worse than the actors trying but unable to save the movie from itself, it’s how it ultimately amounts to little more than a big set-up and lore dumpage for the third one, more than its own thing.

Can’t wait to be swindled again!

[EXPRESSO] Troll 2 (2025) | Altercation Of The Gargantuas

No, not THAT Troll 2, this is the recently released sequel to the Norwegian 2022 film “Troll” esclusive for Netflix.

Memories of Fragasso’s tale of non-trolls and faux-Orson Welles ghost grandpas aside, the plot of this Troll 2 sees the government call back the main protagonists of the first movie, Nora, the troll expert, Andreas, working for the prime minister, and soldier Kristopher, as another giant troll is awaken, and trying to find a solution will have them end up investigating the history of Norway’s christianization, finding a peaceful troll to befriend and help them in stopping the other one.

The first one was decent, this is honestly just a mediocre affair that hasn’t enough of either drama or comedy to sustain itself, so it feels kinda meandering to and fro’ action scenes of the trolls fighting each other, and even by giant monster movie standards, these are way too brief to be satisfying, despite the solid effects for the creatures.

There are subplots and characterizations stubs that ultimately amount to very little as the movie doesn’t develop really anything proper, even with the plot taking an adventure, Indiana Jones-esque bend, it’s all just kinda thrown in there, with too much of the movie spent of re-establishing characters and clumsily giving everyone some emotional baggage; honestly it feels incredibly rushed in every regard, and it’s hard to feel any conflict as not even the actors feel that invested in the stock roles they’re given.

It doesn’t feel like a sequel that took 3 years-ish to make, even just a couple of decades ago this would have been cranked out the very next year (tops) after the original dropped.

While teasing a sequel that might be better, this Troll 2 is simply too generic, cliched and unfocused to rise above mediocrity.

[EXPRESSO] Zootopia 2 (2025) | We Will Survive

I’ve been skipping most of Disney output of lately, Wish did reinforce this habit, but since i did like the first Zootopia and thought it was one of the best modern Disney films, i was planning on watching the sequel. So i did.

After a brief recap of the final twist and ending of the first movie (which is roughly “one child old” by now), Zootopia 2 follows up Nick and Judy’s unit, which is jeopardized due to them fumbling an operation and causing destruction in the wake of the city centennial, for which a book pivotal for the very foundation of Zootopia itself will be shown to the public.

But despite this, Judy finds proof of a reptile entire the city, which hasn’t happened in a centhury, and she investigates, her and Nick find themselves involved in another conspiracy, get framed and have to escape and get to the bottom of this mistery.

While it’s yet another conspiracy plot, we do get some solid worldbuilding, new characters and a solid villain, and we get to see more of this animal world and how it works beyond the big metropolis, as the sequel builds on the themes of racism, prejudice and discrimination with gentrification and (more) classism now, here done with the “reptile problem” and a political scheme about expanding biomes made for specific types of animals at the expense of others.

It does some of the typical Disney quirks plotwise, but it’s more the benign ones, these are not as bad as they could be, the new characters are fun, there is some sensibile development of the unusual cop buddy duo of Judy and Nick, there are some fun, quick references/nods for the older crowds, and overall it’s honestly a great sequel and a pretty good animated children film,

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4: DLC Pack 7: Future Island Egghead PS4 [DLC REVIEW] (UPDATED)

We’re back.

Despite everything, we’re still back for more of these, and i will immediatly say i’m disappointed my boy Kaku didn’t make it, despite him being (kinda) prominent in the Egghead arc this DLC pack is representing, and the Egghead/CP0 version of Rob Lucci being the one fighter of the pack we knew was coming months ago.

But we kinda knew already due to educated guesses and japanese One Piece character popolarity poll results strongly suggesting so, so i’m not THAT surprised.

This pack also releases alongside the current gen versions of the game (being free upgrades for people owning the last gen versions at least on X-Box and Playstation), which will have better graphics, improved framerate and more enemies on screen, but since i don’t have a PS5 yet i can’t verify that for myself.

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[EXPRESSO] The Running Man (2025) | Twitch Rage

In this era of remakes and reboot, this is one that makes some sense, especially since the older film adaptation of the Stephen King novel (originally published under the “ Richard Bachman” pseudonym) was a fun 80s slice of “Golden Age Schwarzenegger” beefcake action, more heady than the actor usual fare, but not much so, as its revels in being the very kind of thing its supposedly satirizes, with by the plot’s premise of a far future dystopia where a fascist state pacifies the masses via a reality tv bloodsport, The Running Man.

Here indesiderables and anyone that doesn’t obey is labeled a criminal and terrorist, pitted against a gaggle of chasing units, with the task of surviving as long as they can, while there is a “snitches get riches” for civilians reporting – or killing yo’ ass, with a billion dollars prize money for “runner” surviving against all odds and hunting units sent after them, all live on national television.

This version has the protagonist being an enraged father that has been blacklisted from most workplaces for trying to have justice and unionization, signing up for the Running Man show so he can rack up money needed to cure his daughter, and maybe even give his family a better life outside the slums.

It’s a more faithful adaptation of the story, and honestly it’s just a far better film, actually timely in this moment where the dystopian sci-fi futures are pretty much undistinguishable from reality, flying cars aside, with what were once charicatures being plausible, while still delivering lots of bombastic blockbuster action, stylish use of “oldies” for the soundtrack and embodiying the current – and apt- sentiment of “fuck you all, let it burn”, with an ending that might feel like a cop out but isn’t necessarily such.

Ghost Pilots (Arcade Classics Archives Neo Geo) NSWITCHDDL [REVIEW] | My Very Own 194X

I love the Neo Geo, as in, i was a wee child that did always light up when the arcade cabinets started up with that logo and name, letting me know i was in for a good time.

I never owned a Neo Geo cabinet or one of their home consoles, so aside from the odd port on PS1 or PS2 collections, for me Neo Geo was something you went to the arcades, which already tells you how ancient (in prospective) i am, given how that market/scene ended up in the following decades.

That said, i’m glad i never encounted a Ghost Pilots machine, and to be honest i never even heard of this one until i found it and bought its Arcade Classics Archives release on the Nintendo eshop.

As to why, it’s because its one of those early releases for the Neo Geo based hardware that are better forgotten, left in their own little burrow in the ground, their own little cubicle in videogame history.

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[EXPRESSO] The Ugly Stepsister (2025) | Body Horrorella ( 🎶rella rella rella 🎶)

So we’re doing a horror version of Cinderella, and it’s not a Jagged Edge Productions joint?

Color me surprised, it’s an actual film with real budgets, a Norwegian produced retelling of the Cinderella fable in a more twisted fashion, with the widow Rebekka marrying an old nobleman that almost immediatly dies, meaning her daughters Elvira and Alma are joined by their new step-sister, Agnes, a stark contrast to Elvira, who’s considered fat and ugly but is groomed (as is prepped) by her mother to undergo grueling surgery and training to become beautiful, in order to marry into royalty, especially the prince, whom Elvira pines for.

It’s a satirical black comedy take on the fairytale (also taking some of the more graphic ideas from the Grimm’s version) that’s also heavy on body horror, because The Substance made that a trend again…. and surprisingly a lot of straight up gross out graphic content, both played for humour as well as simple shock value.

If you expected a more psychological horror affair this ain’t it, The Ugly Stepsister will see horror films that have subtlety and nail their hypothetical balls to the walls, and put salt maggots on the opened sack, as it revels in its bluntness and its “period piece” with faux classical styled version of modern pop songs in the background.

It is funny, the main conflict between Elvira and Agnes is compelling as neither is depicted as an actual “evil” figure, as their pushed into it by societal standards, but on this regard, anything else that isn’t about them (well, mostly Elvira) feels underdeveloped or lost in its own stylistical pot-pourry, like how the satyrical, modern feminist take on the fable almost ends up reafferming the very values its so obviously wants to mock.

Still quite entertaining and decently realized.

[EXPRESSO] The Toxic Avenger (2023) | Punk Pretend

Yes, Troma is still around, and just the fact the Toxic Avenger reboot is a big budget PG-13 rated film with big Hollywood actors is already indicative that yes, in this case – to paraphrase Grasshopper Manifacture’s motto – “Punk Is Dead”, coming off as a clear admission that, despite all that clammering, now they do actually want to be like Hollywood and ain’t even trying to mask it.

The plot is basically the same as the 1984 original, but tries to update the concept for modernity, changing some details and adding new characters, and making it more about family (since “Toxie” has a troubled stepson to care for) but basically keeping the idea of a derided janitor falling victim to radioactive waste, which mutate him into a superhero monster, The Toxic Avenger, ready to take down evil, and in this case exact revenge on the evil big pharma company that bamboozled the entire town of St. Roma Ville ( ah ah), harassed its citizens and pollute its waters.

And it’s all presented as subversive like the original was… in 1984.

Sure there is some splatter violence, but it’s kinda tame, even in the international unrated cut, today the ol’ excesses of the company are nothing.

It’s not even that unwatchable, ironically, it’s still trash like the original but that became a cult film for reasons, which do include its sincerity, here completely gone, as this remake also sucks out any of its anti-establishment, alternative, subversive and controversial qualities, being just domesticated and tarted up hollow trash.

Even worse, it’s just so desperate in wanting people to like it, to elect it as their new favourite “so bad it’s good” flick, which itself it’s old hat too.

It’s just fuckin pathetic, even more than it wants to come off as.

The Spooktacular Eight #31: Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

As an Italian, it always tickled me silly how back in the late 2000s EA’s idea for competiting with Sony’s God Of War franchise was to pillage The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and basically transform it into a power fantasy action game about saving a damsel in distress, which happens to be done by traversing Hell as described by the Tuscanian poet.

I guess because it was a well known public domain literary work that would also work as a quick and dirty band-aid to feign some refinement, and to be honest everyone was jumping on the hack n slash action game bandwagon at the time, so of course EA would have tried their hands at it.

Still feels fuckin random because they could just have made a Roman Empire themed hack n slash, but i guess they couldn’t push a marketing campaign literally encouraging to “go to hell” and the “sin to win” marketing shizzle.

I’m not even offended because this is so fuckin american it’s hilarious, i mean, sure, it’s based on Alighieri’s first book of The Divine Comedy as in it has the concept of venturing through Hell, it has a guy named Dante, a gal named Beatrice, and The Devil(TM) sure, it’s the same thing.

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[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Legends ZA NSWITCH 2 | Mega Starmie From Space

Pokemon spin-off time with Pokemon Legends ZA, bringing us back to the 7^th gen and the Kalos region of Pokemon X & Y.

5 years have passed from the defeat of Team Flare, and as a new trainer, you get involved in not only the new main attraction of Lumiose City, the night-bound Royale ZA, but also the strange events that see wild Pokemon undergo uncontrolled Mega Evolutions in the city, maybe related to the new company hired to rebuilt the city, and the reapparance of the mythical pokemon Zygarde…

Gameplay iterates on Legend Arceus foundations, but changing the focus from exploration to battles, now a real time affair with moves operating on cooldowns, which is strangely intuitive, works really well and provides some needed freshness to the classic formulas.

Also, i love how often deliberately goofy the new Mega Evolutions are.

On the downside, it does indeed take all place in a big open world city, which is bigger than i anticipated, has some fun sidequests and some internal variety (thanks to designated wild areas where to catch pokemons) but isn’t quite as packed or varied as a Yakuza game, and also suffers some incredibly archaic movement mechanics.

Speaking of archaic, even on Switch 2 we have the same modern issue of Game Freak being handled EDF style budgets (comparatively) for games that sells gorillions, but have jpeg windows and characters with great designs sporting lypsynched words with no voice acting.

The story is good, even the NPCs have hilarious shit to say, the city it still rewarding to explore and there is a decent amount of content, i had a good time with it, more than i expected, but this could and should have been even better, for many – that should by now be obvious – reasons.