Categoria: retro

[EXPRESSO] The Black Phone 2 (2025) | Nightmare Lake Camp Winter Massacre

The Black Phone 2 it’s a direct sequel, yes, but one to a movie with a definitive, unambigous ending, as Blumhouse figured it could order a sequel regardless since the first one was a critical and financial success, with most of the same cast and director too.

I guess why not since the Nightmare In Elm Street series has been MIA since 2010, so might as well turn a sequel that really didn’t need to exist into a replacement of sorts for that, with a dash of Friday The 13th.

Yeah, it’s the MEGAN 2.0 kind of sequel, minus the fact that this is still a horror film, just a different one than the first.

At the end of the first movie, Finn did manage to kill the serial killer known as The Grabber and escape from his murder basement, becoming famous as the killer only survivor.

4 years after, Finn’s sister, Gwen, is suddendly getting dreams of getting phone calls from a black phone and seeing visions of 3 boys getting chased in a winter mountain camp called “Alpine Lake”, alongside ones of the deceased serial killer…

It’s actually good, they did manage to actually pull off this kind of sequel by working around what was done in the script for the first film (in this case by leveraging the supernatural aspect), managing to spun a follow up that might actually have been intended to exist all along, bring back the villain and have a solid atmosphere, good characters and some creepy shit.

It’s a bit longer than it needed to, the 80s filter it’s a bit excessive, but it also does enough to add its own flavor to the formula, and despite the concept it works, giving even more closure and being even more “sequel proof”. Hopefully.

Platformation Time Again #5: Yooka Laylee PS4

HISTORY

I’ve played Banjo Kazooie to completition. Twice.

Both on the N64 and the XBLA release pre-Rare Replay.

I’m prefacing this because i definitely fit the profile, i am the target demographic for retro plaftormers like Yooka Laylee, as i love the original Banjo Kazooie, like its sequel and even enjoyed that oversprawling excess that is Donkey Kong 64, and i love 3D collecthathon platformers from the early days of PS and Nintendo 64, especially if made by Rareware/Rare.

Heck, i love them so much i made this rubric. Twice.

When it was announced on Kickstarter, i was excited at the idea of a spiritual sequel to Banjo Kazooie, made by a team of ex-Rare employees, and they also got Grant Kirkhope back for the soundtrack. But i didn’t back it because the idea of Kickstarter and crowdfunding was still new to me, so i just waited for the game to come out.

Which eventually did, to mixed reception.

In hindsight, Yooka Laylee does deserve a spotlight and a place in the history of platforming games, but not for the reasons Playtonic might have liked.

To give some of the younger readers context, back then we were excited because Kickstarter projects would swoop in and serve a specific “niche” of games the big companies simply didn’t made anymore, as in they were chasing the more modern gaming trends of their time.

One of these “underserved niches” was definitely collecthaton platformer in the style of the late 90s and of the 3D kind, as 2D style retro platformer were already starting to get made for the audience that craved them, and aside from Nintendo franchises, 3D platformers as a whole were old hat, left behind by most of the industry as it hurled ever more into F2P monetization and “services”.

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The Spooktacular Eight #25: Vampire Circus (1972)

Is it?

Tis time to feature something from the ol’ Hammer Films catalogue, indeed.

Something vampire related but also not from their beloved Dracula series.

And i believe this is it, a fairly forgotten entry in their catalogue, Vampire Circus from 1972, directed by Robert Young, whom also worked on Hammer House Of Horrors but wasn’t a mainstay director for Hammer like Terence Fisher or John Gilling, mostly focused on working for TV, and is now mostly remembered for directing most of the highly regarded episodes of Robin Of Sherwood.

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Neon Maniacs (1986) [REVIEW] | Thirsty Little Undead Flowers

Consider this an appetizer for some of horror trash serving this month, something to set the mood, an hors d’ouvre if you will.

One pure in 80s trash, given the title its was either gonna be that or a modern throwback to 80s horror filth of the lower alphabet ranks.

Immediatly this feels like a tie-in film made to promote some 80s style horror themed trading cards series that would now cost fortunes in the second hand collector market, giving off a very cheap knock-off Garbage Pail Kids vibe, i mean, the titular “Neon Maniacs” are presented with a random fisherman finding some staged photo of someone in very cheap costumes in a book with the symbol/crest of a…. gecko eatings its tail, not like the uroborus symbol is trademarked, but whatever.

The plot sees these demonic maniacs (which including a biker, a crocodile man, a Hills Have Eyes looking motherfucker and even an undead samurai, move over Yoroi) terrorize and slaughter random horny teens at night, more specifically crashing the birthday party of a girl, Natalie, whom ends up surviving (as she is a virgin, since its the rule, as it was harassing people for that back in the era) but with no one believing her accounts, aside from a guy with a crush for her and someone that witnessed the “neon maniacs” in action before.

Despite this, she has to find a way to prepare for when they strike again… after they leave their home base below the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

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Platformation Time Again #4: Pac Man World/Pac Man World Re-Pac PS1 | PS4 | GBA

HISTORY

Pac Man needs no presentation, so ingrained as an icon of videogames from their golden era of the arcade machines, that even your grandma knows what it is.

But the 80s were far gone even back when Pac Man World released in late 1999 for the original Playstation, and Namco Bandai was struggling to find how to reinveint his legacy franchises or make new successful ones in the wake of the financial recession in Japan at the time.

Pac Man World was made specifically to celebrate the series’ 20th Anniversary, and Namco (not yet Namco Bandai) figured to play it fairly safe: 3D platformers were on the rise and “all the rage”, everyone with some cash to spare was throwing mascotte characters at the wall to see what would stick or syphoon some of the leftover bread from the success of Mario and Sonic, heck even Bubsy tried this new fangled substance known as 3D by injecting it between its bobcat toes.

So why the fuck not, since Namco did have a popular mascote character already, one that was iconic and synomous with videogames and not a pantless cat with a shirt, the formula had already had its success stories so there was a blueprint and a track record to try emulate, Pac-Man was becoming old enough to drink in most countries, so fuck it, we’re going platforming in tridimensional fashion… and it was a success.

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[EXPRESSO] Duse (2025) | D’Annunzio in the Sky with Diamonds

A period piece biopic (one that has been quite a while in the making but finally started production in late 2024, on her 100th anniversary) about Eleonora Duse, widely recognized as the greatest actress of her time, one of the all time greatests, because of her unorthodox approach to theathre and her ability to shock and wow audiences worlwide even if she kept reciting in Italian, unique as she both carried on old traditions yet was an anti-diva of sorts in the late 19th Centhury, and she’s basically recognized as one of the more important figures of the period, alongside Nietzche and Ibsen.

This movie depicts her last years, as after having a downright legendary career, she feels the call to return to the stage during the turbolent period after the end of WWI and the upcoming rise of fascism, as she wants to reaffirm herself (and her art) in a nation hurling towards the political deep end, which mirrors her own ailing health…

I’m not sure exactly why i’m reviewing it here, i was gonna see it anyways since i did happen to study her life and career, but i just don’t see this reaching out anywhere else, it’s just a kind of movie that will basically be for very few people, even less when it leaves Italian theathers, where is bombing hard regardless because Eleonora Duse is not a popular name here either.

It’s a shame because it’s a very good historical drama about “turn of the centhury” theather, the importance of art in response to the traumas of war, the scenography is good, the performances are great and so are the perfectly flawed characters.

So if you can still catch it in theathers or if it becomes available on streaming, i strongly recommend watching and-or buying/supporting it.

[EXPRESSO] Mantopus! (2025) | Octaman’s Father

Had to see a newly released on Amazon Prime Video film called “Mantopus!” that is retro styled meta comedy about a now washed horror director finding the titular “man-octopus” hybrid in a mysterious antique shop and deciding to use it as the star of his final horror film, Mantopus, a Creature From The Black Lagoon knock-off.

It’s one of these modern retro styled comedies akin to stuff like The Lost Skeleton Of Kadavra, but set in the late 50s-early 60s, arking back to the drive-in era of monster movies, with a Michael Gough-looking director (as the whole movie it’s basically a tribute to him), a slimeball making stuff like the fictional “Frankenstein In Texas” to the dismay of his producer, running “not-American International Pictures”, but the director becomes mad and starts using the monster to eliminate his “enemies”.

I will say it’s an interesting proposition, because while it’s not too hard by now to emulate the visual style of these shlocky films, you ironically gotta have decent actors able to deliberately act bad the purposefully stock dialogue that seems somehow dubbed in post even when it’s obviously not, but Mantopus manages to get that and most importantly gets right the feel of these old movies, and the tone, that both makes fun but also celebrates with sincerity these films, that actually likes the drive-in trashfests about monsters with little to no budgets but high on violence and “nudity”.

It’s all done with affection instead of spite or mockery, the overacting is lovely as its the deliberate awkward delivery of basically every line and stock discussion, it’s a quite fun film, though it’s a very niche movie made for a very specific audience, one that loves cheesy horror of yore and will notice the posters aren’t for made up old movies.

[EXPRESSO] The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025) | The Warrens

As i guess many did, i approached Conjuring Last Rites with tired obbligation, and i’m sad to say the movie just gave off that very same vibe in return.

Yes, i basically gave up expecting much from the series after the spinoffs and James Wan not directing anymore, but this is the final installment of the Conjuring series (and its cinematic universe, for spoiler heavy reasons), i do expect a better baseline of quality for these.

So this feels like an extra disappointing and limp finale, but first plot.

Final Rites goes back to chronicle the Warren’s last case, about an entity haunting the Smurl family in Pennsylvania, 5 years after they basically retired to do university work and live a normal middle aged life with their young adult daughter, whom also seems to share her mother’s ability to sense spirits…

While the series is mostly focused on the characters more than gore or blood, Final Rites takes it way too far as the Warren’s plotline is an overly long soap opera-ish slice of life mostly detached from the Smurl haunting, with the movie taking forever to become what you wanted to begin with, and when it finally does its incredibly underwhelming.

To say nothing of the final reveal that tethers between making some sense and being a cheap, stupid, frustrating arsepull because they couldn’t think of anything else, maybe.

I honestly personally enjoyed it even less than The Nun 2 (still more than La Llorona), the only reasons this one doesn’t score lower is because of the great performances by the cast, (especially by Farmiga and Wilson as the Warrens), the residual characterization work and the fact there’s a sense of finality to it.

Even though i do hope this is the actually the end for mainline Conjuring films.

[EXPRESSO] Caught Stealing (2025) | Idles Hands

There some irony in a title like that for a filmmaker that already borrowed heavily from other, better directors, but i can’t deny i do like Arofonosky movies (The Whale was great), and i was surprised to see this new one, Caught Stealing, kinda sneak by into theathers.

So instead of taking “cues” from Satoshi Kon this time it goes for a more popular type of cinema, a crime caper set in New York, a 90s NY of people that can barely make rent but will proclaim their love for the San Francisco Giants, as it’s all framed with the titular baseball slang term i had to look up, as the protagonist, Hank, is a generally decent normal guy that could have been a baseball star if a car crash didn’t nip that in the bud.

Hanks calls his mother daily, has a semi-relationship with a nurse, and wants nothing to do with crime, but after accepting to take care of his punk neighbor’s cat while he’s away, he ends up unadvertly dragged into the seedy criminal underbelly due to some very bad luck and a series of absurd circumstances.

This time it feels like Arofonosky wanted to do a Cohen Brothers style crime caper (thought it’s based on a novel of the same name by Charlie Huston) while also retaining his usual style…. and it doesn’t really work until the last act, trying to be unpredictable and marrying very gritty violence with almost slapstick style comedy, coming off as kind of confused than anything, with its various ideas and tones having spent most of the movie fighting each other they do click the end, a little too late.

Terrific performances (especially by the supporting cast) help one wanting to see it through, and it’s not bad…. just kinda baffling.