The very early December grabbag update post: Dinos, Animatronics Boogaloo, Letting It Die, PS5, and winter breaks

Time for an update post as Dicember looms very close… and is here already.

As previously announced, the first week of December i will be taking a break from full lenght reviews, which will resume on December 8th, on a weekly basis leading up to Christmas, and of course 12 Days Of Dino December.

Which will go on as always, no big changes.

I will have reviews of the new FNAF film out, and i guess the third James Cameron’s Avatar film, because that is a thing, and one i do not care for, i’d rather have Cameron work on that Alita Battle Angel sequel, if he’s willing to gamble zillions into a series, better than his First Nation alien Smurfs saga that apparently no one cares for but will see to go anyway, though the more it goes on the faster it might cull itself out (if you break records, then it becomes increasingly hard to keep doing that on a regular basis), so nevermind.

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[EXPRESSO] Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Imprisonment NSWITCH2 | Mysterious Construct X

I had some reservations about this one, despite my love for the Hyrule Warriors subseries, since it wasn’t handled by Omega Force (i guess busy with the PW4 DLC, the Dynasty Warriors Origins expansion and the DW3 remaster), but developed by a new studio under TK, AAA Games Studio.

But my doubts were (mostly) put to rest once i got to play it.

This is indeed the prequel to Tears Of The Kingdom it was announced as, as in, unlike the previous Hyrule Warriors game, Age Of Calamity, this is an actually canonical entry narrating the War For The Imprisonment mentioned in TOTK and taking place at the very beginning of this timeline’s Hyrule, with his first king, Rauru, uniting the race-tribes of the land to fight back against Ganondorf, whose evil and lust for power led to him becoming the Demon King.

A time travelling Zelda also aids Rauru, alongside a mysterious yet very familiar feeling humanoid construct, accompanied in his quest against evil by a wandering Korogu…

Gameplay wise, it builds off the systems and overall structure from Age Of Calamity, adding new elements taken from Tears Of The Kingdom like the Zonai devices, making for a really solid and fun Warriors game, with satisfying characters that aren’t cloned from the previous HW iterations, even though the roster does feel famished to include secondary characters due to story limitations, and the map design doesn’t really dare to stray from the basics.

It’s a pity because it’s good, and close to being as great as Age Of Calamity, but eventually it shows some flaws or inconsistencies that stem from inexperience, though it also has a surprisingly decent-to-good narrative that isn’t stretched out, it’s a sizeable game and performance wise its runs so much better than Age Of Calamity did.

[EXPRESSO] The Smashing Machine (2025) | Pet Rock

There is some hilarity in an A24 distributed sports drama starring Dwayne Johnson, not because he has hair this time (which is kinda absurd to see anyway), but since it’s an obvious attempt by the beloved wrestler-turned-actor to go for that Oscar cheddar, with a biopic directed by Benny Safdie (Good Time, Uncut Gems), costarring alongside Emily Blunt and playing a figure that Johnson would effortlessy seen as a reflection of his past career, in this case UFC fighter Mark Kerr.

That said, it does mean we get to see Johnson try more and go beyond the same persona he has kept for his film carreer, despite this being a very calcuted risk, but one i’d say pays off, as this biopic depicts Kerr’s rise to the higher ranks in the early days of MMA fighting, him struggling with his drug addiction, his obsession for victory and his troubled relationship with his girlfriend, as his first loss during the Japanese league send his world crashing down.

Structurally there’s nothing you haven’t seen before in a sports drama film, especially about combat sports, but it does retell Kerr story in a satisfying way, it doesn’t hold back but also makes a solid argument on how victory isn’t everything, or more specifically, that losing isn’t everything either, it just something bound to happen eventually, if it happens it’s fine.

I have to point out that apparently a lot of the film is more or less lifted (as in, even camera angles) from a documentary of the same name made back in 2002 apparently since i saw it mentioned but can’t say i’ve even heard of (or seen) that one before, and that seems to be case for most people, but even so i’d say The Smashing Machine is a good sports drama.

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4: DLC Pack 7: Future Island Egghead PS4 [DLC REVIEW] (UPDATED)

We’re back.

Despite everything, we’re still back for more of these, and i will immediatly say i’m disappointed my boy Kaku didn’t make it, despite him being (kinda) prominent in the Egghead arc this DLC pack is representing, and the Egghead/CP0 version of Rob Lucci being the one fighter of the pack we knew was coming months ago.

But we kinda knew already due to educated guesses and japanese One Piece character popolarity poll results strongly suggesting so, so i’m not THAT surprised.

This pack also releases alongside the current gen versions of the game (being free upgrades for people owning the last gen versions at least on X-Box and Playstation), which will have better graphics, improved framerate and more enemies on screen, but since i don’t have a PS5 yet i can’t verify that for myself.

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[EXPRESSO] Shelby Oaks (2025) | Paranormal Tapes

In the early 2000s, the early days of internet, a group of teens making content for a paranormal Youtube channel all go missing after investigating the abandoned small town of Shelby Oaks.

Fear that it might a ploy to boost viewership turns to tragedy as most of the crew is finally found, dead and brutally mutilated, aside from one of the channel’s creators, Mia, still missing.

For the following 12 years, her sister Riley has kept searching for Mia, and is now collaborating in a documentary about the case, with Riley’s husband hoping this will – at least – give them closure so they can start a family as they planned before the incident.

Things soon go even more south as a man shows up to Riley’s house and immediatly shoots himself in the head, while holding onto a bloodied cassette tape with the label reading “Shelby Oaks”…

Interestingly, this is not a found footage movie either, it starts off as one, has sequences shot in that fashion, but it has a traditionally styled narrative at the heart of it, one that veers into the supernatural possession subgenre, with a bit of folk horror too.

Yet this is not the jumpscare laden fest some might think, at all, being proper spooky and atmospheric but also NOT one of those to conflate that into an excuse to show bugger all.

It’s quite competently put together too, with some decent acting, solid production values, and it clearly made with respect for the genre as a whole, even though it’s hold back by its various inspirations and reverent references that do come off as pastiche (and a kinda shaky third act).

It has that roughness of debut films (because it is), but still, it’s a decent first feature lenght by critic-turned-director Chris Stuckmann.

[EXPRESSO] The Running Man (2025) | Twitch Rage

In this era of remakes and reboot, this is one that makes some sense, especially since the older film adaptation of the Stephen King novel (originally published under the “ Richard Bachman” pseudonym) was a fun 80s slice of “Golden Age Schwarzenegger” beefcake action, more heady than the actor usual fare, but not much so, as its revels in being the very kind of thing its supposedly satirizes, with by the plot’s premise of a far future dystopia where a fascist state pacifies the masses via a reality tv bloodsport, The Running Man.

Here indesiderables and anyone that doesn’t obey is labeled a criminal and terrorist, pitted against a gaggle of chasing units, with the task of surviving as long as they can, while there is a “snitches get riches” for civilians reporting – or killing yo’ ass, with a billion dollars prize money for “runner” surviving against all odds and hunting units sent after them, all live on national television.

This version has the protagonist being an enraged father that has been blacklisted from most workplaces for trying to have justice and unionization, signing up for the Running Man show so he can rack up money needed to cure his daughter, and maybe even give his family a better life outside the slums.

It’s a more faithful adaptation of the story, and honestly it’s just a far better film, actually timely in this moment where the dystopian sci-fi futures are pretty much undistinguishable from reality, flying cars aside, with what were once charicatures being plausible, while still delivering lots of bombastic blockbuster action, stylish use of “oldies” for the soundtrack and embodiying the current – and apt- sentiment of “fuck you all, let it burn”, with an ending that might feel like a cop out but isn’t necessarily such.

[EXPRESSO] Frankenstein (2025) | At Stein’s Gate

Sadly no theathers in my area or close did limited screenings of Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein, so i had to wait and watch in when it dropped some days ago on Netflix, like most people will,

Which is fine and all, but you know…

That said, i think it’s kinda funny to see how it compares against odd choice of Luc Besson doing a very romance heavy version of Dracula…when he didn’t get distracted, almost accidentally did a Dracula Dead And Loving It kinda spoof of sorts, and remembered he left the subplot with Christopher Waltz as Van Helsing waiting for a call back to be resolved.

Both films do indulge in the nature of their literary sources as gothic sacred beasts, but Del Toro’s version stands on the opposite of the spectrum, and unlike its recent take on Pinocchio, his retelling of Frankenstein it surprisingly simple from a conceptual standpoint, being a fairly faithful retelling of the story as written by Mary Shelley, even with the narration starting out at the end at the North Pole and then Victor Frankenstein telling his story and the Creature’s to the captain of the icebreaker ship that rescued him, then having the Creature tell his side of the tale.

Even at is most “unoriginal”, it is Del Toro doing one of the gothic magnus opuses, so it’s exactly what you’d expected from him, and i mean that in a purely flattening fashion, i really do, he obviously loves and treats Frankenstein with such respect i understand why not try a subversive take on it, despite how many times the story has been done in film, as it’s not pedantic in recreating verbatim the book, and strays enough to avoid it feeling like stale regurgitation, kinda needed given the sizable runtime.

Pretty good.

[EXPRESSO] Dracula: A Love Tale (2025) | Gothic Hark

Talk about a left field proposal from Luc Besson, a director better known for sci-fi films (among other things), doing a Dracula adaptation in the traditional period piece setting, and making it focus on the gothic romance aspect.

Especially since we weren’t exactly that starved, with Egger’s Nosferatu and Last Voyage Of The Demeter, among others moving based on the Bram Stoker’s novel as a whole or specific parts.

Not much to say about the plot, it’s Dracula, as in, the expected plot for a Dracula adaptation, hitting most of the expected scenes and having the expected characters from the novel, and even some of quirks of previous films incarnations, like Dracula greeting Harker with that ridiculous hairdo he has in Coppola’s version, with some differences to accomodate this take on the story.

It’s well acted, the production values are high,… but it’s also all over the fuckin place.

Yes, the idea is that it focuses a lot more on being a gothic romance film, which is clearly the focus, and that does work… when the tone doesn’t shift drastically from a semi-quirky lore talk about Van Helsing explaining how to tell if a person is a vampire, the pacing grinds to a halt so Dracula can flashback even more, or jest around with Harker almost like we are in a spoof film.

Or have multiple, elaborated swordfights-war battle scenes.

It’s almost like at times Besson remember there’s the usual Dracula subplots to move along and then zoom, then why not, let’s take a break to have a romantic stroll through festival activities, i’m sure the pacing can take it.

To say nothing of the kinda expected conclusion that still feels like an anti-climax.

I’m not even mad, just a bit confused, but i will say it’s anything BUT boring.

The Spooktacular Eight #32: Saint Maud (2019)

I guess it’s a new tradition for the rubric to end on something “nun themed”, but we’re doing something a bit more recent this time too, with 2019’s Saint Maud.

Again, like i said in the Possessor review, it might feel like a lifetime ago due to the pandemic, but yes, 2019 is recent in my book, and i wanted to check this out in cinemas (even more as it got really good critical reception) but it never came out here, so i imported a UK Bluray and we’re finally getting to it now.

The premise sees a nurse named Katie fail to save the life of a patient in her care, which prompts her to quit, only to return sometime later, calling herself Maud, as a devout Catholic working again as anurse, for a private paliative care in an English seaside town.

One day she gets tasked to care for Amanda, a hedonistic dancer who’s got a terminal stage four case of lymphoma (as in: cancer), who starts fearing for the black nothing awaiting her after death, making Maud believe that God has tasked her to comfort and convert an atheist’s soul, becoming obsessed with saving her from damnation, at all costs..

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The Spooktacular Eight #31: Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

As an Italian, it always tickled me silly how back in the late 2000s EA’s idea for competiting with Sony’s God Of War franchise was to pillage The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and basically transform it into a power fantasy action game about saving a damsel in distress, which happens to be done by traversing Hell as described by the Tuscanian poet.

I guess because it was a well known public domain literary work that would also work as a quick and dirty band-aid to feign some refinement, and to be honest everyone was jumping on the hack n slash action game bandwagon at the time, so of course EA would have tried their hands at it.

Still feels fuckin random because they could just have made a Roman Empire themed hack n slash, but i guess they couldn’t push a marketing campaign literally encouraging to “go to hell” and the “sin to win” marketing shizzle.

I’m not even offended because this is so fuckin american it’s hilarious, i mean, sure, it’s based on Alighieri’s first book of The Divine Comedy as in it has the concept of venturing through Hell, it has a guy named Dante, a gal named Beatrice, and The Devil(TM) sure, it’s the same thing.

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