[EXPRESSO] The Black Phone 2 (2025) | Nightmare Lake Camp Winter Massacre

The Black Phone 2 it’s a direct sequel, yes, but one to a movie with a definitive, unambigous ending, as Blumhouse figured it could order a sequel regardless since the first one was a critical and financial success, with most of the same cast and director too.

I guess why not since the Nightmare In Elm Street series has been MIA since 2010, so might as well turn a sequel that really didn’t need to exist into a replacement of sorts for that, with a dash of Friday The 13^th.

Yeah, it’s the MEGAN 2.0 kind of sequel, minus the fact that this is still a horror film, just a different one than the first.

At the end of the first movie, Finn did manage to kill the serial killer known as The Grabber and escape from his murder basement, becoming famous as the killer only survivor.

4 years after, Finn’s sister, Gwen, is suddendly getting dreams of getting phone calls from a black phone and seeing visions of 3 boys getting chased in a winter mountain camp called “Alpine Lake”, alongside ones of the deceased serial killer…

It’s actually good, they did manage to actually pull off this kind of sequel by working around what was done in the script for the first film (in this case by leveraging the supernatural aspect), managing to spun a follow up that might actually have been intended to exist all along, bring back the villain and have a solid atmosphere, good characters and some creepy shit.

It’s a bit longer than it needed to, the 80s filter it’s a bit excessive, but it also does enough to add its own flavor to the formula, and despite the concept it works, giving even more closure and being even more “sequel proof”. Hopefully.

One Piece: Grand Adventure PS2 [REVIEW] | Grand Battle Rushed

One Piece videogames were actually quite wild in terms of what got released out of Japan during the PS1 and PS2 era, with a very inconsistent series of releases outside of Japan, some esclusive to North America, some to European countries, some like One Piece for the GBA being the weird case of being regionally exclusive to North America, as in, there doesn’t exists a Japanese GBA cart of that game because it was never made in the first place.

One Piece Grand Adventure also falls into this category, as it was never released in Japan but made esclusively for North America and Europe, still by the same developer of the Grand Battle series (and behind a lot of One Piece games over the years), Ganbarion, to profit off the good sales for One Piece Grand Battle Rush (just One Piece Grand Battle in NA and EUR territories) on PS2.

I said PS2 as in the Gamecube version is a NA exclusive, in Europe we just got it on PS2.

But yeah, keep in the mind the “to profit off” part, which will also explain why this review might be shorter than expected.

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[EXPRESSO] The Naked Gun (2025) | Piss, Taken

On its face, this seems like a stupid idea, and another chapter in the modern trend of reviving any old franchise because desperation.

Even more so since this is a comedy franchise, the kind of films that usually you don’t consider for revivals since the genre is even more specific to its time than most and almost immediatly ages out of relevance (also due to changing sensibilities).

So i was kinda blindsided when i went to see the Naked Gun sequel-reboot… and it works.

It works and it’s actually feels like the Naked Gun, with its recognizable brand of “dirty jokes” (almost deliberately kept retro in that sense too), wordplay, 90s metahumour, slapstick and mostly absurdist delirium of actively trying to be stupid beyond stupid, just updating the farcical non-sense to modern standards…. but not quite, as it blatantly doesn’t care to coddle modern audiences and keeps the spirit of the 90s movies, it relishes it also being “dated” and throwing out references to Buffy’s musical episode, uncaring if the youngins will get it or not.

say “sequel-reboot” because the set up is that Liam Neeson is playing the son of Lielsen’s character, Frankie Debin, as an idiot sauvant old fashioned cop that this time has to dismantle a plan from a tech mogul that wants to use sonic frequencies to make people regress or something…. the plot is just a crutch for the jokes as usual, but the casting (including Pamela Anderson) and the committment make it work, Liam Neeson actually makes perfect sense as Frankie Drebin Jr. given how Lielsen’s carreer transictioned from serious drama to spoof comedies.

Plus it’s also short and sweet, just 80 minutes of unfettered retro comedy delirium that is confident and earnest, and is most likely gonna be enjoyed by newer audiences too.

Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Gaia’s Wrath

Given the first World Brothers turned out quite well in terms of review and profits, D3 did the obvious, by greenlighting a sequel, simply called EDF World Brothers 2.

Obvious to a certain degree because EDF spin-off never received sequels, but i did like the first World Brothers, so i was more than happy to see Yuke’s (also behind EDF Iron Rain) come back for more voxel Earth Defense Force.

This is a direct sequel as well, and this time, after watching the skies so hard in case of another alien invasion coming from there, we get bitten in the ass by a monster that was inside our squared, voxely Mother Earth, Gaiarch, which erupts from its core and breaks the world apart, meaning it’s up to the EDF once again to make the planet whole by sticking back the destroyed pieces.

This is done by your team of newbies trying to find the more experienced EDF members scattered around the globe, and also new allies like an alien-esque amnesiac girl (that’s like an anthromorphized version of the Daroga enemies, since she loves the buggers and has a Daroga style hat of sorts), new and old bros and sisters, a time travelling Caesar (not the monkey), highlighted by odd giant replicas of the main EDF classes to fight as enemies before taking down a mothership.

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[EXPRESSO] 28 Years Later (2025) | Mighty Morphin Jimmy Rangers

Almost 20 years of absence, this seminal zombie series is back in cinemas with 28 Years Later, actually the first of a new trilogy that brings back Danny Boyle in the directing chair and Alex Garland as screenwriter …. and indeed it immediatly feels like a continuation of 28 Days Later and what most feel 28 Weeks Later should have been, as it expands upon this perpetually quarantined UK, where the “rage virus” started spreading and turning people in feral fast running zombies.

This time we focus on a community that lives in a secluded island, but has the tradition of sending teens in a coming of age hunting trip inland (through a tiny strip of land that disappears with high tides), and its the turn of Spike, a 12yo boy reluctant and worried about his mother’s ailing health, for this rite of passage, with the help of his father, showing him “the ropes”.

This experience brings him new wonders and horrors, forcing him to confront his fears and eventually take drastic measures, exploring the zombie ridden inland territories and confront everevolving strains of Infected, maybe in the hope he can find answers and a cure for his mother’s illness and dementia….

It does expand upon the world, the zombies ecosystem, it does deliver on the gore and brutality all around, there are some good characters, but it has some questionable choices, like the second act development that feels a bit strange and almost random, but it leads to some great scenes and the movie it is quite good that i’m willing to overlook that (alongside a slightly redundant feeling due to the genre being milked dry in the last 2 decades of zombie media) and even a Power Ranger-esque final scene with dudes dressed like Tiger from Ninja Terminator.

[EXPRESSO] Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) | Site R

5 years after the events of Jurassic World Dominion, dinosaurs didn’t quite adapt too well, with the surviving ones now living in remote off-limits islands with equatorial style climates.

A pharma company tasks a mercenary unit to visit one of these remote “dinosaur islands” in order to retrieve blood samples from 3 apex dinosaurs and helping further a medical research on preventing heart diseases… pity is that the island was also one of the lab sites for the original Jurassic Park where they tested hybrid dinos.

It’s kinda telling that they can’t-wont let of the Jurassic World name even when doing such an obvious “soft reboot” that mentions some things from previous Jurassic films but otherwise it’s a pretty straightforward self-contained story that aims to “go back to the basics”, “return to form”….. but actually pulls that off in pretty much regard, managing to get a good sense of adventure, of actual peril going on, alongside solid characters.

Having an actual renowed director and bringing back the screenwriter of Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park II helps too.

There’s nothing new that hasn’t been done before in basically any dinosaur media, but its familiar without feeling dull, and i do like some of the hybrid mutant dinos inhabiting the island.

It’s more than a notable improvement over the enjoyable but basically big budget Asylum affairs that were the previous JW films, undeniable…. but just “not being Jurassic Prey” doesn’t necessarily make Jurassic World Rebirth “good”, even if now for dino film is either this or way too homegrown shit films with a budget of 30 bucks and a ham sandwich.

I did quite like it personally, but it is kinda a curated “best of” that doesn’t adds anything new to the formula, maybe due to overabundant reverence to the source material.

Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge (2023) [REVIEW] | #sharkapalooza

After Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse, Mark Polonia was pretty much given the legal status as guardian of the Jurassic Shark franchise, i guess why not?

The second one….actually, the “other second one”, since Raiders Of The Lost Shark would actually be a more proper sequel made by the same director, this is the level of decadence we’re at, with Jurassic Shark having both official and “more official” sub-series.

I think i just puked in my brain a little. Or a lottle.

Back to the topic at hand, Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse was another typical Mark Polonia affair, i remember it had “young Popeye cosplaying as the captain from Tin Tin” (maybe a hint of shit to come, in hindsight), it was about another drilling underwater gig bringing out another megalodon shark, and an assassination subplot, or something?

I barely remember, which i guess is the ideal state of mind to watch these.

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[EXPRESSO] M3GAN 2.0 (2025) | Panzer Kunt

2 years after the M3GAN killer robot was destroyed, her creator, Gemma, moved on and kept working in robotics while advocating for more cautious laws about IA, while taking care of her niece Cady, but unknown to them, someone stole M3GAN technology and created another killer robot, AMELIA, which has gone rogue and start killing anyone involved with the project.

M3GAN, whom has been hiding in their home cloud network, springs back to alert Gemma she could be next, and that if they want to have a chance of stopping AMELIA killing her and her niece, they need to graft M3GAN a new robot body, even more as the stakes quickly escalate…

Yeah, it’s not really a horror movie anymore, the gore is still pretty graphic but the tone is completely different, going basically for a ubercharged pastiche that skips a lot of modern narration to go for satirical and autoironical, which still has that 90s sci fi-horror aesthetic, as it’s a bit Robocop, a bit Ghost In The Shell, Matrix, Terminator, heck, you can even feel drafts of Alita Battle Angel, with M3GAN basically needing a new berserker body to fight.

It does manage to develop further the characters from the previous film, especially M3GAN herself, and it all does work since she’s indeed “the bitch”, “the slay queen”, she is incredibly fun to see in action and sells it.

If you expect a more in-depth critique of modern use of IA, or a more conservative sequel that’s actually a horror film, you might detest this one, which is understandable but honestly i do commend the effort to keep it fresh and not just rehash the first film, since it does embrace his deliberate sarcastic detour into action sci-fi, and for what it is, it’s a riot, hugely entertaining.

Earth Defense Force 6 PS4 [REVIEW] | All You Need Is Kill

As with what is now tradition, after a reboot follows a direct sequel, so Earth Defense Force 6 picks up some years after you killed God (or an alien God), with the global population reduced to a 10 % of what it was, but hey, you won, and reconstruction begun, as it always does.

You play as one of the elite soldiers from Team Storm that succeded in saving the planet years before, sent to a base that needs manpower as while the aliens retreated after… well, the “Hell Comes To Frogtown” ones were left abandoned on Earth, so they kinda still kick around in pure desperation, and you’re sent to deal with these poor bastards after a speech from EDF bootleg (and surprisingly nice) version of Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, during the tutorial mission that continues the more attention given to presentation that started with EDF 5.

Then some old teleporting devices start teleporting monsters on Earth again, the monsters start laying down eggs to up their numbers, so it feels like you’re stuck on a loop of exterminating the hordes to avoid the enemies gaining more ground, and it feels like this stalemate is gonna keep going… until the biblical accurate alien mothership comes back, transports and un-transports another mothership kind of vehicle, then drops an entirely new kind of alien foes, very 50s/60s scifi style android enemies that launch their grabby knifed claws from afar.

So shit was already a desperate fight for a ruins filled Earth, NOW it’s basically a desperate struggle to fuck with a 0% chance of winning against super alien Hitler with a box of green army men as actual troops…. until you fight the biblically accurate ring shaped mothership again, fuck up something… and then you’re literally in an early mission of EDF 5.

That’s true, because after this – as the game itself puts it – “The Earth Defense Force 6 begins now”.

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Dragon Quest Heroes II PS4 [REVIEW] | #musoumay

You could use many adjectives to describe Omega Force output from the PS2 onward, but definitely not “ambitious”, as Koei first and then Tecmo Koei keep them just as the “Dynasty Warriors” guys, a stigma that just got worse over time, even when they don’t make a Warriors title.

Can’t say its unwarranted either as there are dozens upon dozens of Warriors titles, all iterating from a formula now decades old, to the point there are entire sub-series alongside the well milked mainline Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors franchises.

But Dragon Quest Heroes II is the rare exception, as we will see.

Regardless, its not too surprising this exists, as the first DQ Heroes did well, was received quite well (especially for a musou title), so of course Koei put immediately Omega Force back to work on a sequel, which dropped the ridilicously long subtitle of the first one, and came out the following year, thought we had to wait until 2017 for a western release.

A sequel in DQ or FF fashion, in the sense it’s not a direct story sequel, this isn’t even the same world as the first Dragon Quest Heroes.

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